I helped my boyfriend pick out his first gun a few months ago. He got a Smith & Wesson .38 revolver. There is no “perfect gun” for everyone, or even a “perfect first gun.” I prefer semi-autos over revolvers any day of the week, but my boyfriend found that he liked revolvers better. Try it out before buying. Find something both you and your wife are comfortable with.
As far as semi-autos go, do you have any specific recommendations?