Stars Remain In Their Usual Places; People Panic [Zodiac changed]

Slashdot ^ | 1/15/11 | timothy

[Clint Williams]

asheller writes

"The Star Tribune tells us the zodiac signs have shifted. Earth's wobble has shifted the signs, a new one's been added and many of us have changed signs. Formally a Cancer, I've apparently been upgraded to Gemini and am now married to an Ophiuchus, a new sign. What's yor sign? The new Zodiac Chart is pretty interesting."

Here are some priceless reactions to this celestial development. As long as the Chinese Zodiac is unaffected, I'll still be able to accurately judge people based on when they were born, so please indicate in comments your (new) sign and birth year animal, so we'll be able to know where you're coming from.

[GeronL]

???

Who has the authority to change the Zodiac signs??

Is this like the food triangle?

[Yo-Yo]

[magritte]

First we lose Pluto, now this? Outrageous !

[darkwing104]

Gave up the Zodiac for Lent

[null and void]

It’s crucial for the end of the world.

Ophiuchus is centered on the galactic core, and the sun centers on Ophiuchus on...

...wait for it...

...on...

12/21/2012!

[PAR35]

So does that mean that churches can no longer sing that classic, popularized by Kris Kristofferson, “Jesus was a Capricorn”?

[Dr. Bogus Pachysandra]

Oh no! I’m no longer a triple Scorpio? I’m a freakin’ triple Virgo? No way! I’m gonna have to hang my head in shame!

[domeika]

[GeronL]

Ophiuchus

I will never learn to pronounce that before the end of the world.

[agere_contra]

LOL!

[TruthBeforeAll]

Not that I really give a hoot, but now that I’m no longer a cancer (having been born on June 21st), am I now a gemini or taurus? I think I would prefer a taurus... they make decent weapons.

[The Comedian]

Frowning takes 68 muscles.
Smiling takes 6.
Pulling this trigger takes 2.
I'm lazy.

[The Free Engineer]

I’m a Virgo. Virgo’s never believe in horoscopes.

[Chunga]

Virgo’s never believe in horoscopes

Why? Why?? WHY???

Why do people use apostrophes in this manner?

[Lancey Howard]

Huh... My wife not only left the sign she used to be, she’s now on the “cusp” of two totally different signs. So, her entire life has been a lie. Yikes. Everything is upside down. I don’t know what to do. I just don’t know.

[eCSMaster]

Because they’re Virgo’s

[Mygirlsmom]

This Lion Sleeps tonight...still a Lion.

Obama, on the other hand, has now become a Cancer.

But we knew that all along now, didn't we?

[Don Corleone]

I’ve gone from being a VIRGIN to being a LION. Wow! WTG

[I still care]

I’m no longer a Gemini, I’m a Taurus.

I’ll have to stop talking and being intellectual and become more patient and stubborn.

[ZOOKER]

Suddenly I'm a Virgo!

Could that explain why I feel all shiny and new?

[Radagast the Fool]

Does this also mean that the Moon is now in the 8th House?
And that Jupiter is now aligned with Venus?

Oh, My Gaia!!!

[Petruchio]

I’ve gone from being a VIRGIN to being a LION.

You must of had a really great date last night . . .

[Beelzebubba]

Astrology wizards, you floor us.
Your dumb superstitions they bore us.
And you’re going to be miffed
At the earth’s axis shift,
‘cause your Gemini’s really a Taurus!

(From memory 30 years ago)

[catfish1957]

The earth wobbled? I knew this would happen when Hilary Clinton took the state job and did all this traveling

[The Free Engineer]

Y0U @R3 C0rr3c7 0f c0URs3. I @p0L0gize.

[Chunga]

You hope you don’t charge for engineering services.

[Chunga]

You must of had

Why? Why?? WHY???

Why do people type "must of" when they mean "must have?"

WHY???

[668 - Neighbor of the Beast]

Why? Why?? WHY??? Why do people use apostrophes in this manner?

You sound like a complete Virgo!

[Dr. Sivana]

Gave up the Zodiac for Lent

Did they move Lent, too?!

[Persevero]

Whenever anyone asks my sign, I answer, “Christian.”

[668 - Neighbor of the Beast]

Formally a Cancer...

FORMERLY!!!

668, Virgo moon.

[Chunga]

You sound like a complete Virgo!

I'm a complete Taurus. Full of bull.

Hahahahahahahahahaha!

[lwd]

Must of been that fall she took the other day getting on the plane.

[Petruchio]

‘Cause I wanna.

[Chunga]

Must of

WHY???

[ZOOKER]

Does this also mean that the Moon is now in the 8th House?
And that Jupiter is now aligned with Venus?

Yes. As we feared, this is the dawning of The Age of Ophiuchus.
Our only hope is to let the sunshine in...

[AnAmericanMother]

Just more silliness.

The astrological zodiac hasn't lined up with the "real" (astronomical) one for centuries. The equinoxes have precessed steadily ever since the zodiac was invented.

The inclination was not to change the astrological signs because the cumulative observations of character etc. would be rendered useless. I think you're going to find that astrologers will keep right on using the traditional zodiac.

(I used to cast horoscopes and read Tarot cards back when I was a hippy. My husband and I even wrote a computer program (we're talking PDP-8 and PDP-10) to calculate planetary positions and ascendants. Anything worth doing is worth doing well.)

[muir_redwoods]

Anyone who has even a rudimentary knowledge of Astronomy has known this for years. Precession proceeds constantly and has moved the orientation of the earth about 30 degrees since the Sumerian agronomists tried to use the stars to determine when to plant their crops.

The rest of this astrology crap is just that.

[668 - Neighbor of the Beast]

You want to see some complex, totally tricked out astrological programming, check out astro.com. They have a 6000-year ephemeris and you can get free charts by entering a date and place....then select any of a couple dozen different kinds of charts, and input any of a few thousand asteroids too. Harmonics, transits, progressions, compatibility charts.
Mind-blowing. I think even an old hippy would barf!

[AnAmericanMother]

Yeah, but it’s fun! (I haven’t drawn up a chart in years. Gave that and reading cards up when I converted to the Catholic Church. Church doesn’t approve of fortunetelling, and I see her point.)

[AnAmericanMother]

What do you NEED a 6,000 year ephemeris for?

[Nachoman]

This global warming stuff is just screwing up everything.

[Chunga]

‘Cause I wanna.

Then you won't care that "Therefor" is incorrect as well.

[defconw]

I have gone from being a Capricorn to a Sagittarius that is married to a Sagittarius? So now what?

[Dr. Sivana]

Why do people use apostrophes in this manner?

Sometimes apostrophes can be used when it helps clarify the word intended or the pronunciation. The writer was likely fearful that Virgos would look a singular name pronounced (vir-goss). Another example of this is in the expression "Mind your p's and q's." It would be nonsensical if it were rendered, "Mind your ps and qs."

[brushcop]

Whenever anyone asks my sign, I answer, “Christian.”

Thank you, thank you! THAT is refreshing, I'm usually slow of thought but when I've been quick enough (rare) on the uptake, I've answered "the Cross" (is my sign).

[lwd]

Must have

Happy now?

[Chunga]

Sometimes apostrophes can be used when it helps clarify the word intended or the pronunciation

It's incorrect usage and it depicts the writer as a moron.

[RnMomof7]

Now all those people that paid big bucks for a zodiac chart will just have to pay these astrologers again ...$$$$$$$$$$