Meghan McCain's 7 Tips for Republican Hopefuls

The Daily Beast ^ | June 21, 2011 | Meghan McCain

[rightwingintelligentsia]

With last week's debate behind them, Mitt Romney, Tim Pawlenty, Michele Bachmann, and others have officially kicked off the race for the GOP presidential nomination. But do any of them have the chops to topple Obama in 2012? Meghan McCain offers seven tips on what they should do between now and then.

Dear Republican candidates running for president in 2012:

You are up against one of the most media-beloved presidents in history, one journalists will do almost anything to protect. You are running against a man who has created a cult following and a narrative that transcends popular culture. How is it possible that this is the best we’re doing so far?

Now, before we get too ahead of ourselves, it is the beginning of summer and not exactly in the fall fever of primary politics. But just like an awkward blind date, you need a good opening line. The average American can’t tell you the difference between Rick Perry and Jon Huntsman (yet). Most young voters my age don't remember Newt Gingrich's claim to fame; after all, the Clinton impeachment trial was so ‘90s.

[Nonstatist]

OMG! That fat valley girl is giving us dumbo hicks sage political advice! How lucky we are.

[KentTrappedInLiberalSeattle]

so full of herself

And an extensive assortment of pork rolls. And Hot Pockets. And batter-fried DoubleStuff Oreos.

[KarlInOhio]

Someone stole Meghan's computer and typed out the intro and first five points. (It might have even been her pet cat dancing on the keys) They actually made some sense. Then she wrestled the computer back and typed the last two (6: Make Friends With Rachel Maddow and 7: This is the most important...forget the extreme right.) with he usual insane view on Republicanism.

[youngidiot]

Meghan McCain is good for one thing and one thing only. And even that is debatable.

[Doogle]

#1 Moo
#2 Moo
#3 moo & moo
#4 Moo
#5 Moo
#6 Moo
#7 Moo

Thank Moo

[Astronaut]

Honestly, there ought to be an FR rule about any posting involving fat, drunk, clueless beer heiress Meaghan McCain. No one cares what this overweight trust fund kid thinks. Tip for Meaghan: ease up on the cheeseburgers and pastry.

[mardi59]

Meghan dear, just because daddy is a senator (a RINO) doesn’t mean we need to follow you or your advice, nor do we need your opinion so keep it to yourself. One bit of advice from me though. It would be great for Arizona and the country as a whole if you would tell daddy to ride into the sunset and take Goober Graham with him.

[liberalh8ter]

Because having a father who can’t decide which party he belongs to makes one a expert on such matters.

[KentTrappedInLiberalSeattle]

an Anti-Palin, Anti-Bachmann screed and a push for a “moderate”.

[tx_eggman]

Meghan ... buy a vowel

[Kandy Atz]

So if we act like Democrats, we win?

Did she scribble this on a Denny’s child menu in crayon after a hard night trollin’ the bars?

[Senator Pardek]

I was hoping they were 7 diet tips - MEOW!

[Red Badger]

Hey, Meghan! I gotta a gift for you!..................

[Mr. Mojo]

She could’ve just cut it down to 1 tip -— be a liberal.

[KentTrappedInLiberalSeattle]

Then she wrestled the computer back and typed the last two (6: Make Friends With Rachel Maddow and 7: This is the most important...forget the extreme right.) with he usual insane view on Republicanism.

[Diogenesis]

"My daughter will attempt to screw the GOP for us
just like last time. Stop getting so excited, Milt."

Tip No 4: Be Prepared to Outlast Palin Fever.
The big question is if Sarah Palin will
decide to run for president.
It's anyone's guess at this point,
and I don't think even she knows the answer.
If she enters the race,
there will be a proverbial tsunami
of media coverage for months.
Don’t panic and ride it out."

[atc23]

Longest 15 minutes

EVER

[KentTrappedInLiberalSeattle]

Hey, Meghan:

[cdcdawg]

Tips 1-5 were not bad, if rather obvious. Then she went all “run to the middle” which is how somebody ..... now who was that? ..... lost to Obama.

[dforest]

Megan’s List

Get fat like Me
Twitter pics of your clevage like I do.
Write silly, dirty, sexy books
Yuck it up with The View harpies
support my daddy
seek my opinions
keep mommy’s beer business thriving

That should do it.