They did the same thing when my 4 year-old daughter was dying. At the time, they came across so sweetly kind and caring - I was almost beguiled by it due to the grief. Two full days while she was on life support, they came by every few hours to check on me and ‘see how I was holding up’, then got into their pitch again.
It ended up being irrelevant anyway, as a full autopsy was required. They couldn’t harvest anything from her, but having to choose burial clothing that hid all the incisions from the autopsy was equally damaging to me.
what state are you from?
I do think it differs state to state as to how this is handled.
My daughter was 2 months shy of her 4th birthday.
No one put any pressure on us...for one thing, the team of doctors had nothing to do with the donation group.
Once our daughter was declared legally dead, the doctor informed us that there was no legal obligation on their part to keep her on the ventilator.
They were kind and told us we could spend the evening with her to say goodbye, and to let them know when we were ready.
We were the ones who brought up the subject of donation.
At that point we realized there were two choices....sit with her and hold her while the ventilator was shut off, or pursue the donation route.
Once we made that choice, a phone call was placed and it was only then that the donation organization even knew we even existed.
If we had ever felt someone was watching over us like vultures to pressure us - I’m sure our decision would have been much different.
I am very sorry for your loss.