Holy shit. Glad I got over the guilt. I have known personally a few beautiful Mormon women that had affairs and killed themselves because of such guilt. Also a couple of young men that couldn’t measure up to the expectations you have talked about.
Strange and controlling cult really does a number on good people.
‘Holy shit. Glad I got over the guilt. I have known personally a few beautiful Mormon women that had affairs and killed themselves because of such guilt. Also a couple of young men that couldn’t measure up to the expectations you have talked about. Strange and controlling cult really does a number on good people.”
I have a story to tell, and there’s no right way to tell it other than straight out.
One huge number of suicides they don’t break down is the young teen men who commit suicide because they
are unable to stop committing the sin of masturbation. These are the fraction of young male mormons who are almost all born into the church snd are taught from the cradle thst if they lived a perfect life they go to heaven together as a family...this is also emphasized by the ceremonial family sealing, it’s like a celestial safety net so we don’t lose each other on the other side.
Two things are drilled into mormon babies from the crib, if you’re perfect you go to heaven and if you’re not, your family will go and you’ll be left alone forever.
When I was getting ready to turn 16? I think?...they take the boys getting ready to enter the Aaronic priesthood and they told all of us what a sin masturbation was, and how it would keep us out of the Celestial kingdom. Then he told those of us entering the priesthood that we would be interviewed privately by the bishop, and one of the most important question he would ask us is if we ever masturbated, and if we lied, the bishop would know because the Holy Ghost would tell him.
When my interview came up, I was one scared young man. Remember, I was born-in, fully brainwashed. It was one time being raised by abusive folks was a blessing, because it just didn’t weigh on me that much being separated from them. I knew I was going to lie, I was just afraid of getting caught. Later a boy named Alex in our church very much did care about it, and killed himself. While hearing church members talk about it, they mention other young men this has happened to.
After I left the church and entered the internet age, I found out the number is in the thousands, but they can only estimate, and no one is keeping track...mormons don’t want to talk about it, and yhe outside world doesn’t seem to be interested. Lots of young mormon men killing themselves and leaving goodbye notes to their family, mentioning the habit they can’t stop, and how they hope their leaving now means they still have a chance to be together, if they kill themselves now maybe they won’t be too blemished to enter heaven, and still be joined to them in the afterlife, even if they can’t be a God anymore.
The worst part was when his parents were asked to address the congregation, and they said although they were sad, they were also proud of him. And that because of the manner of his death, the fact that it was a bloody one gave them some comfort. I just don’t care to get into the blood atonement belief, if you’re interested there’s info.
BTW no one has any private business in the church. None. A man in my church had his wife run off, and the bishop had a holy ghost moment, and the guy was invited to address the gtoup, and he apologized for being such a poor mormon that he couldn’t keep his home in order, and everybody said Amen.
Sorry if I don’t catch all these typos. Freakin touchscreen.
Anyway, when it came time for my interview, I lied my Onan off, and the bishop didn’t zot me, and I guess that was the first nibble on the red pill that the whole birdcage was made out of horseshit. I began openly questioning the church, and got older adults so enraged, some of them, that I was actually physically struck twice, and sent more than one person walking out of a room with my questions.
The Bishops reaction to my rebellion was unusual. He made me president of the teacher’s quorum and kept giving me jobs to do around the church. I skated on the work and I was comatose to my leadership responsibilities. Finally, I refused to go to church with my parents any more, and I’m skipping on what happened after that.
Now, here’s the kicker: the bish told the prettiest girl in church, Jennifer B., thst the Holy Ghost told him she would be a great girlfriend for me and possibly future wife, and that she should “pray about it”. In school she came up to me, took the Coke out of my hand, and told me matter-of-factly that she loved me.
If I hadn’t been in full mad rebellion, I could have fallen for it. I just started steaming. Full outrage and hate at thd idea I was supposed to be that stupid, that they could manipulate me.
Big sigh...though, because over thirty years later, I remember every pixel of her drinking my coke. Blonde cheerleader. Damn.
Anyway, next time somebody says they know all sbout mormons and tbey’re just another christian religion, if you decide to give them a colonoscopy with your Redwing, I think God will forgive you.