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Posted on 08/06/2013 3:28:27 PM PDT by Maceman
Think the anti-sleepover movement is the result of overprotective parenting? Read on to learn the seven top reasons that some moms and dads are just saying "no" to sleepovers.
Don’t let your kid sleep over with his or her pals. Instead, send them to sleepovers put on by the Gay Scouts.
Sleepovers promote crime. When my grandkids have a sleepover, amazingly 4 or 5 houses in the neighborhood end up toilet papered the next morning. Those houses also usually contain teen agers about the same age as my grandkids and their friends. And when their own house gets toilet papered, usually it turns out there has been a sleepover somewhere in the neighborhood the night before.
The school in which I teach was recently embroiled in a very public rape case. These kids all did the “I’m staying at a friends house” thing. Before everybody chimes in about thier kids, these students are all (with exception to one) in our scholars’ program, have iPhones, were given cars at 16, and are from “good” families. Their parents own small businesses, are doctors and lawyers, and drive nice SUVs. These students are the cream of the crop, they volunteer 100+ hours per school year, compete in Mock Trial, and are on the executive board of the KEY Club. They get wonderful scholarships and are accepted into the best schools. Some parents buy alcohol because they want their kids to be popular, and your kids know who those parents are. They keep the secret very well. All the students know what’s going on and are well organized with keeping it from parents and teachers. Children’s sleepovers don’t worry me so much, but what they lead to later on scares me. As it turns out, these students have been drinking since middle school. It’s happening everywhere, even in your own kids’ peer groups.
I had great times at sleepovers, but looking back, at sleepovers is where I first:
played spin the bottle
witnessed all my friends get drunk
saw classmates hook up and go to bed together
saw guys take advantage of drunk girls
found a big porn stash in a friend’s closet
watched a rated R movie
watched a rated X movie
spent lots of time walking around at night time the neighborhood up to no good
the fewer sleepovers my daughter goes to (when she gets older) the better.
Reason 9: Roman Polanski is staying at Woody's that night.
I know what you’re saying. The world can be a dangerous place, and tragedies happen. But we don’t help our kids deal with the world by raising them in a bubble.
I have a 14-year-old daughter, and I understand the concerns. But I don’t think raising her as a hot house flower is the answer.
Sounds like these kids had everything.....except perhaps a connection with their parents that develops with time spent and attention paid.
This is ridiculous. Too many children today are so controlled that it’s no wonder that so many of them are afraid to leave home in their 20’s.
Nothing wrong with some control over your children, especially those under 18 and living at home.
I hate that. It’s so annoying.
I think when you get to that age is a different situation. Nowadays kids that age fly to Cancun for summer vacation unsupervised for mass teen aged drunken orgies. Fortunately my grandkids are still only into toilet papering neighborhood houses. And they are such bad criminals that they get caught almost every time.
Just remember that she has the ability to create and frequently access Facebook and Twitter accounts of which you have no knowledge. She knows who’s on birth control. She knows who’s parents buy booze. I’m not saying she’s going to act on it, I’m simply pointing out that she knows. As a mommy of young ones, I am still appalled at what has come out of this case and of what children are capable. Especially the good kids.
Because all the boys are homophobic and the girls are chaste. That’s my guess why no sleep overs.
The culture is very different from what it used to be, that is why people are so wary.
When one of my friends had me over for a sleepover back in the early 1960s on a ranch, the parents were away for a long period of time. We quite naturally got out the guns, shot, loaded and made our own ammunition, and had a ball. Guess these people could list that as reason #8 :)
Don't these idiotic parents realize that when your kid goes on a sleep over, you get to engage in homosexuality, smoke pot, drink booze, watch porn, and be grumpy the next morning. :-)
Uh... yeah, sure. I met you 10 minutes ago, know nothing about you, your home or your lifestyle, but heck, let me hand over my preschooler for the night.
Crazy, right? But you'd be surprised at just how many parents are A-OK with this type of scenario. And people want to call me a nut?
My girls do have sleepovers. We know the other little girls and generally know the parents (as well as you can "know" anyone). On the rare occasion, they've done slumber parties for birthdays where the parents were just acquaintences. As my kids get older, I know this will come up more often, and I know I'll probably be a lot stricter than many, if not most, of their friends' parents. BTW, co-ed sleepovers a big thing in high schools around here.
Oh and p.s. — the grumpiness factor is very very real! lol
played spin the bottle
witnessed all my friends get drunk
saw classmates hook up and go to bed together
saw guys take advantage of drunk girls
found a big porn stash in a friend’s closet
watched a rated R movie
watched a rated X movie
spent lots of time walking around at night time the
neighborhood up to no good
Porn stashes and X-rated movies in a friend's closet are s-o-o-o 20th century. Now with everything online and kids having access to their own and their friends' mobile devices and laptops, today's kids are growing up in a highly sexualized environment that has nothing in common with the experience of any adult. And "blocking" the sites on the family computer (or keeping the home computer in a common space in your house) is completely useless.
Kids can go on websites like Omeagle.com, where they can video chat with different strangers, many of whom turn out to be adolescent boys and older pedophiles masturbating. You can change "strangers" every 10 seconds if you want, and there are just regular kids on it too, so your kid can actually find normal kids to chat with. My daughter showed me this site, and told me all her friends -- good kids -- know about it.
You can "forbid" your kid to watch it or other sites like it, but all you'll do is drive your kid underground and encourage secret keeping.
I sat with my daughter and let her show me the freaks on Omeagle. I didn't freak. I didn't give her orders about not going on it. I didn't threaten her. But I was able to communicate to her that it is a stupid, degenerate, boring waste of time. That strategy, as shocking as it may seem, has worked really well. She thinks it's gross now, and I know for a fact that she doesn't go on that site (or others like it) anymore. She outgrew it.
It has been a real eye opener to deal with the fact that the average 12 year old has already seen more penises and perverted sex acts (including people having sex with dogs) than most women my age have.
At 12, I asked my daughter how many of her friends had lost their virginity. She didn't tell me their names, but did a count on her fingers, and told me that nine -- NINE -- had done so. She also told me how many were into cutting, and how many were into drugs.
You can't protect your kids from that stuff, and if you try, all you do is either make them dangerously naive, or drive them to be sneaky.
The good news, though, is that in this environment, you can really be frank and honest with your kids about this stuff. Frank, honest talk without pulling punches is key to building real trust, instilling strong personal values and making sure your kids have their eyes wide open to the risks so that they're not taken advantage of.
It's a dangerous, degenerate world out there, a far cry from the Leave It To Beaver world that I grew up in. You can't protect your kids from it by trying to hide it. All you can do is be there for them, educate them, communicate your values, listen to them, and teach them how to develop boundaries.
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