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The Parable of the Mashed Potato Police - And other tales of working for the TSA
Politico Magazine ^ | Thursday, March 27, 2014 | Jason Edward Harrington

Posted on 03/31/2014 3:29:14 AM PDT by Star Traveler

I recently had a bad flashback. I was lying in bed trying to fall asleep when I was hit with a vivid memory from my time as a Transportation Security Administration officer at Chicago’s O’Hare Airport. It was 2008, and I was conducting a bag check when three of my TSA colleagues got into an argument with a passenger at the checkpoint. Things got pretty heated.

The subject of debate? Whether mashed potatoes were a liquid or a solid.

In the end, of course, the TSA agents had the last word: Since the potatoes took the shape of their container, they were determined to be a liquid—specifically, a gel. That’s the official TSA line. “Liquids, aerosols and gels over 3.4 ounces cannot be brought through security.” The potatoes were forcibly surrendered.

If you’re anything like me, you may have thought, “Well, mashed potatoes are technically gelatinous, so…”—which sends one down the rabbit hole of bureaucratic absurdity that ends with a passenger looking a TSA officer in the eye and saying, “Do you really think my mashed potatoes are a terrorist threat?” And the officer, if he or she is just an all-around tool, saying: “Ma’am, possibly. Rules are rules.”

I’ve had a lot of flashbacks lately—nearly buried memories that have come flooding back ever since Politico Magazine published “Dear America, I Saw You Naked,” my first-person account of working for the TSA and anonymously blogging about my adventures in airport security.

(Excerpt) Read more at politico.com ...


TOPICS: Constitution/Conservatism; Culture/Society; Government
KEYWORDS: tsa
I'm not flying anymore!
1 posted on 03/31/2014 3:29:14 AM PDT by Star Traveler
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To: Star Traveler

Any answers yet on HOW DID THE BOSTON TERRORISTS
RE-ENTER THE USA WITHOUT A PASSPORT, TSA?


2 posted on 03/31/2014 3:40:09 AM PDT by Diogenesis
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To: Star Traveler

Whether mashed potatoes were a liquid or a solid”

Depends upon how much milk & butter you add when you mash them


3 posted on 03/31/2014 3:54:42 AM PDT by nuconvert ( Khomeini promised change too // Hail, Chairman O)
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To: Star Traveler

Then they’ve won. They took away your freedom of association and your right to privacy. I continue to fly and take names of the goons. There will be a reckoning.

Don’t get mad; get even.


4 posted on 03/31/2014 4:12:11 AM PDT by NTHockey (Rules of engagement #1: Take no prisoners. And to the NSA trolls, FU)
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To: Diogenesis
Any answers yet on HOW DID THE BOSTON TERRORISTS RE-ENTER THE USA WITHOUT A PASSPORT, TSA?

Apparently, they weren't carrying mashed potatoes.

5 posted on 03/31/2014 4:34:43 AM PDT by Flick Lives ("I can't believe it's not Fascism!")
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To: Star Traveler
I'm not flying anymore!

Haven't flown since 1996 and never will again. I much prefer driving to enjoy what's left of our once wonderful country.

6 posted on 03/31/2014 4:43:41 AM PDT by upchuck (South Carolina Representative Trey Gowdy for Speaker of the House!!!)
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To: Star Traveler

FYI, your link goes to page 2 of a two page article. Here’s the first page:

http://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2014/03/tsa-confessions-mashed-potato-police-105116.html


7 posted on 03/31/2014 4:50:27 AM PDT by upchuck (South Carolina Representative Trey Gowdy for Speaker of the House!!!)
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To: upchuck

Well, sorry about that ... I guess I shouldn’t read the article before posting it ... :-) ...


8 posted on 03/31/2014 4:56:34 AM PDT by Star Traveler (Remember to keep the Messiah of Israel in the One-World Government that we look forward to coming)
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To: Star Traveler

The brown felt scapular I wear around my neck was the cause of two pat downs in Philly.

The drone then had the nerve to ask me what is was after ordering me to take it off.

I think some highly necessary religious viewpoint training is in order.

Or should I just wear a hajib?


9 posted on 03/31/2014 5:03:45 AM PDT by OpusatFR
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To: OpusatFR

You’d be better off.


10 posted on 03/31/2014 5:57:13 AM PDT by goldi
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To: Diogenesis

Incoming passports (or lack thereof) are not the purview of the TSA. It is part of Homeland Security in Immigration/Border control but I’m not aware of any overlap with TSA.


11 posted on 03/31/2014 6:33:02 AM PDT by T-Bird45 (It feels like the seventies, and it shouldn't.)
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To: Star Traveler
Mark Levin calls Kerry, "mashed potato face"
12 posted on 03/31/2014 9:52:37 AM PDT by Para-Ord.45 (Americans, happy in tutelage by the reflection that they have chosen their own dictators.)
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To: Star Traveler

Almost every time I go through, my left leg gets patted down. I’ve never injured it, never had surgery there or anything to cause concern.

Weird.


13 posted on 03/31/2014 10:02:34 AM PDT by cyclotic (Hey BSA-I'm gone. Walk Worthy-traillifeusa.com)
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To: Star Traveler

As a frequent flyer I can assure everyone the TSA is the most hated agency on earth. I hate everyone of those stupid goons in blue shirts. It is an agency infested with perverts, power hungry booters, wannabe fascists, and fat lazy unemployable affirmative action hires. They are the face of the nation for any LEGAL visitor to the country.


14 posted on 03/31/2014 10:25:05 AM PDT by Organic Panic
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