Posted on 12/20/2014 11:22:48 PM PST by 2ndDivisionVet
A few weeks ago, on the night of the Ferguson decision, my son returned home after a nightly run. It had been raining, but he hadn’t run yet that day, so after a few hours of homework he ventured out, eager to run three miles. I hadn’t paid attention to his leaving, for I was working, but when he returned home, my heart sank. I wanted to grab and shake him and ask, “Why do you feel as if you have the right to run the streets at night?”
My 15-year-old biracial son lives in tony Barrington with us, and he should have every right to feel safe running the streets. But the recent non-indictments, both in Missouri and New York, raise great anxiety for me.
I should not have to worry about my son’s safety, but I do. Even before the soul-searing, mind-numbing and hope-destroying events that occurred in July on Staten Island and in August in a sleepy Missouri town, I have been wary not only of police, but also of white persons’ responses to my fellow black men, to my children, and to me.
Being black or being “other” in this society means that I am constantly hyperaware of and hypersensitive to how I am being perceived, heard, experienced, understood, interpreted, accepted — or not accepted. Every single thought, word, action and deed is constantly being reviewed, analyzed, parsed, examined and reimagined. I wonder am I making this person uncomfortable — and if I am, what does that mean for me, for my position, for my career, for my safety?
I don’t have the privilege to make the same mistakes that whites can make, for simple mistakes can impinge upon my employment, my freedom, my life. This isn’t hyperbole; this is fact.
This hypervigilance isn’t singular to me; indeed, it has been studied since the 1970s. Researchers use the term “microaggression” to describe the daily onslaught that damages the psyche of us “others.”
Dr. Derald Sue, a professor at Columbia University, defines “microaggression” as the “brief and commonplace daily verbal, behavioral or environmental indignities, whether intentional or unintentional, that communicate hostile, derogatory or negative racial slights and insults toward people of color.”
These slights include asking my biracial children, “What are you?” as if they are a “thing” and not human. It includes people marveling at how “articulate” and “well-spoken” I am, as if being black precludes my ability to wield my native tongue with eloquence, grace and beauty.
Perhaps the most famous act of microaggression occurred when Joe Biden, during the 2008 Democratic nomination process said about Barack Obama: “I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy. I mean, that’s a storybook, man.”
That he could say these words — and believe them and still end up as vice-president — shows how deeply ingrained the sense that black men are still second-class citizens is in our culture.
I recognize this fact, so when I am among whites, I work hard to defuse situations.
When I flew to a conference recently, as I went through security, I could hear my voice changing to a high-pitched, feckless, obsequious tone that suggested, “It’s just little ole me, Massa; I ain’t here to hurt nobody!” As a black male hovering around 200 pounds, I know that I can look intimidating, and I have to do everything in my power to defuse situations when authority is involved.
It shouldn’t be my responsibility, but if I want my freedom — if I want to live — I have to be the one who seeks to improve a situation.
So, when I see my son running in the dark in the rain, in his jeans, just because he wants to blow off steam, I worry. How is he being perceived, heard, experienced? Is he so naive to believe that he has the right to run the streets of an affluent community as an “other?”
Most would say yes, but my experience knows better. There is a whole other style of parenting that has to happen when you parent a child of color. There are rules and responsibilities that they must know if they want their freedom — if they want to live.
Things are dispiriting right now, as so many of us have so little to say about these recent decisions. A group of black students at Yale, wishing to say something to the parents of Michael Brown, couldn’t put words to their fear, so instead wrote letters to their own future children.
There are a number of powerful statements, but one I feel I could say to my 15- and 13-year-old children is “The world is not yet ready for you, so I will hold you close and make it ready to love you.”
Oh, for the love of....
CC
Child of color = colored child. No?
The Black author is an imbecile.
He’s “wary” of policemen and white people?
He and his son are ten times more likely to be murdered by their own race.
“Being black or being “other” in this society...”
I’m guessing “other” includes Hispanic and Asian. Like the two cops executed in NYC?
Perhaps Michael would be happier in some nation where higher epidermal melanin content is the norm.
I’d kick in twenty bucks for a one way ticket.
My biracial son is a quarter black and a quarter blackfoot. Sonehow my half french and half english/irish made him really light. He does have kinky blonde hair. My grandkids have one with curly hair, one with straight hair, one with brown eyes, one with light hazel eyes.
So the whole thing gets extremely ridiculous. The Ferguson Hands Up nilists would probably attack any of us in the street, even though two family members fought for the north in the Civil War and part of the family came on a slave ship and part of the family is indigenous sioux indians.
So since none of my descendants looks black they could be victimized by blacks. Or maybe not, since they are tall, good with bows and arrows and white fire power. Did I mention javelin championships?
And 13 million -- yes 13 MILLION innocent black babies were slaughtered in the womb by liberals. Truly the Ku Klux Klan does live on in the form of the DemonRAT party. I can't help but wonder how many Mia Loves, Herman Cains and Ben Carsons are being murdered daily by the Fascists of the hussein's party, the 'RATs.
ten times is an understatement.
normalize the populations for comparison like what Bill Whittle did.....
go look up his “furguson - the real race war”
What idiot runs through the streets in jeans—and who lets their 15yo of any sex or race run through the streets at night?
Puh-lease.
Parenting a child of color in post-Ferguson America?
Why start now?
She’s blaming everyone for electing Biden when virtually no blacks voted against him?
We ran around in the streets at night wearing jeans and my parents weren’t idiots- but we would get out of the street when cars were coming and none of us ever thought about robbing a convenience store or dared a cop to shoot us. Our Dad would have belted us if he ever heard us mouth off to a cop or any adult for that matter.
I like how this person talks about parenting when there’s almost none of that going on these days.
Ok. I’ll just stay clear of black people.
This was written by a male? Bwahahahahahaha.
You ran through three miles of streets at night wearing jeans? If you did, your parents were idiots.
Oh, and if you ran through three miles of streets at night, in the rain, wearing jeans, you were an idiot too.
“He and his son are ten times more likely to be murdered by their own race.”
That’s an acceptable loss in her eyes.
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