For the modest price of $50.00 we will contact your no longer significant other and tell them the relationship is over. For another $50.00 you can get the deluxe package where we will bring either beer or ice cream and spend 30 minutes with them listening to them trash you. Shoulder pats and "there theres" and "what a beast!" or "that tramp!" included at no charge.
I read about that in the “Wall Street Journal,” iirc, years ago. “Relationship Terminator” was the business, which originated in Germany but was branching out to other EU nations.
Sending a text message was the cheapest service. Paper mail was more, personal visit additional, add-ons included moving your stuff out of their abode, or theirs out of yours.
I thought it was the sort of business Anoreth and I could go into. I could do the hand-patting, and she’d keep me from getting killed. But now that she wants to be an automotive engineer, I guess I’ll have to use James for security. He’s going to be really large in another 5 years.
I think the heartbreaker service is a great idea. You should also charge extra to sit through a viewing of either “You’ve Got Mail” or “The Dirty Dozen” depending.