of putting up with her bulls***t. That would be Miss JEB Bush.
Posted on 03/06/2015 7:04:43 AM PST by shortstop
I think Mickey Gilley said it best. The girls all get prettier at closing time.
That’s what I think about Jeb Bush.
Right now, the night is young, I’ve not yet had my first beer, there are lots of pretty women all across the bar, and Jeb Bush is the crazy size-24 cat lady in the corner who smells of urine and eats her boogers.
And has warts.
And poor personal hygiene.
And looks like she doesn’t like men anyway.
I wouldn’t blank her with your blank.
But I’m afraid I know how this night is going to turn out.
I fear, as it gets closer to closing time, and the other ladies quietly leave the scene, and I get drunker and drunker, Jeb and I are going to be a love connection.
I fear that, come Election Day, we’re going to be walking hand in hand.
And then I’m going to be in for one hell of a hangover.
See, desperation is a funny thing. It makes that which is unpalatable become first bearable and then delicious. It wins you over. It lowers your standards and makes more cynical your objectives.
Early in the evening, you’re looking for a girl to take home to meet dear old mom. You get to closing time, and you’re just looking for a piece of Republican.
And Jeb is a piece of Republican.
Barely.
Candidates like Jeb work in the any-port-in-a-storm world. When you are so hard up you’ve just got to have somebody, well, Jeb is somebody.
Barely.
So, I know how this is going to end.
In about a year and a half I’m going to be sitting on this bar stool, with bleary eyes and slurred words, telling you what a great candidate Jeb Bush is. Flunking every field sobriety test you lay before me, I will wax poetic about how this country needs Jeb Bush and needs him bad. I will probably swear my undying love and devotion to everything he stands for.
And then, as they flip off the lights and some guy named Moe starts sweeping the floor, I will dutifully walk out the door, next to Jeb, as he waddles to the parking lot.
I am honest enough to recognize that.
That’s how it’s going to be at closing time.
But right now, Jeb Bush makes me gag.
One hundred percent skank. Completely wrong, not the least bit desirable, probably not even my species.
As a Republican of principle, a genuine conservative, I can’t comprehend Jeb Bush as the candidate of my party. I understand that no candidate is likely to support all my views, or share all my priorities, and I’m willing to compromise and form coalitions, it doesn’t always have to be my way, but I just can’t imagine it the Jeb Bush way.
Last week the guy honestly told his donors to please try to hold back and not donate more than $1 million each.
No more than $1 million.
We’re a nation and a party of people stretching every dollar in order to pay the bills and support the family. We’re a nation and a party of people who recognize that the books don’t balance, that the economy and the government are operating in a deficit, and the day of reckoning is coming.
And Bush Junior Junior thinks capping donations at a cool million keeps him in the ranks of the common folks.
And he thinks that by out Democrating the Democrats all the world will come flocking to his cause.
And he fails to realize that the only thing that Americans want to do less than vote for another Clinton is vote for another Bush.
Two hundred years ago, George Washington stepped aside after two terms to shatter the threat of American royalty. But now comes Jeb Bush, the third bite of a family apple, the poster boy for dynasticism.
In a nation of some 320 million people, somehow, the only ones smart enough to be president come from a couple of elite, rich families.
And in a party of some 75 million people, doesn’t it kind of stand to reason that we might be able to come up with a candidate who is actually one of us?
See, as a Republican, I’m not that impressed with the policies and priorities of the Democratic Party, even when they come out of the mouth of supposed Republican.
Particularly one with all the charisma and natural leadership presence of a bowl of Cheerios.
It’s as if someone said, “Let’s find a Republican candidate who is dull and disconnected, but rich and steeped in a political process that can only be called moneyed and elite.”
And, bingo, there was Jeb Bush.
Right now, I don’t give a damn for him.
He’s the slovenly chick at the end of the bar who smells like an outhouse.
But it’s early still.
And I know how this is going to work out.
The girls all get prettier at closing time.
And come November 2016, I’m going to vote for that fat, dumb, liberal son of a bitch.
You could not get me drunk enough to vote for this Bush Dauphin. I’d sooner take one up the keester.
I was pretty much the same. Almost like he was suddenly given the memo and changed entirely.
Terri Schiavo was rather pretty—Well before closing time.
YEP!!
You took the words right out of my mouth.
There ain’t enough whiskey in the WORLD!
But there are millions of conservatives who will leave with their truly conservative hearts desires and won’t stick around to get drunk enough to get in bed with the GOPe darling. That happened the past two presidential elections.
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome.
In the past I was ready to chew my arm off after getting in bed with McStain and Romney , NEVER AGAIN.
” I’d sooner take one up the keester.”
Ok, I’m not going to go that far but I would vote libertarian rather than give Jeb my vote. And I have historically voted for anyone with an R after their name just because I don’t like communism.
How stupid. Play the RINO game, give them a reason to keep betraying the base.
Any conservatives who haven't finally learned their lesson after the 2014 mid-terms are beneath contempt, like the Jews who worked with the Nazis.
As for me, no conservative, no vote. Period.
The solution is for people to grow up and stop hanging out in bars.
Go to church. There are lots of nice girls there.
Oh, it was an illustration. I wouldn’t take one. But I am also 100% certain I will not vote for Jeb under any circumstance. I just won’t vote if he’s the ticket. He could put Sarah Palin as VP and I still would not cast a vote for him.
That was me last election, only substitute Jeb Bush for Mitt Romney.
I'll go to the bar this time. But if the band sucks, I'm leaving. My days of bringing home the ugly barfly are over.
But that's OK. I have to get up early the next day anyway.
Nope. I didn’t vote for Romney, not that my vote would have affected the winner in the People’s Republic of Maryland, and I will not vote for the next Bush in line. There are a lot of good, conservative candidates, and if the GOP Elite force a liberal on us, I’m voting libertarian. I’ll still vote conservative in the House, Senate, and local races, but I will not vote for a liberal under any circumstances, not even if the liberal puts on a team jersey claiming he’s playing for our side.
of putting up with her bulls***t. That would be Miss JEB Bush.
Stopped reading right there. :)
Hey Jeb! You Ain’t Worth the Whiskey it would take to get me to vote for you!!!!
“Ain’t Worth The Whiskey”
I don’t care that you done me wrong
‘Cause I’ve already moved on
I don’t care what his name is
Girl, it is what it is
I won’t waste a dime
Or the bartender’s time
Trying to catch a buzz
Over the thought of us.
But I’ll drink to a country song
To another long work week gone
And I’ll raise my glass to a long lost buddy I ain’t seen.
I might stay for one more round
Or I might close this place down
But don’t think for a second I’m out to drown your memory
Baby, you ain’t worth the whiskey.
It don’t matter what your friends say
They never liked me anyway
So if they see me drunk in this bar
It ain’t over a broken heart
‘Cause I’m drinking to a country song.
To another long work week gone
And I’m raising my glass to a long lost buddy I ain’t seen.
I might stay for one more round
Or I might close this place down
But don’t think for a second I’m out to drown your memory
Baby, you ain’t worth the whiskey.
Cheers to a good country song
To another long work week gone
And, yeah, I’m raising my glass to those savin’ our ass overseas.
I might stay for one more round
Hell, I might close this place down
But don’t think for a second I’m out to drown your memory
No, don’t think for one second I’m out to drown your memory
Girl, you ain’t worth the whiskey, no.
Baby, you ain’t worth the whiskey
JEB has a strategy where he forms a moderate coalition that doesn’t need Conservative support. Ok, I will help him by going along with that and not voting for him.
I never stayed until closing time. If my candidate (a real conservative or close to it) does not make it past the primaries I will go home early.
The problem with voting for a mangy, crony infested, political sleaze bag like Jeb is that he will be scratching his diseased illegals onto you for the next four years. It isn’t like bedding an ugly woman, and then slipping off the next morning. This hag who has been gang banged by every VDed RINO herd in Washington will be there every morning.
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