Posted on 09/04/2015 2:41:24 PM PDT by Cincinatus' Wife
National Review obtained this exclusive fake transcript.
HH: Joined now by Donald Trump. Donald Trump, welcome back to the Hugh Hewitt Show, its always a pleasure to talk to you.
DT: Thank you, Hugh.
HH: Tell us a little about yourself. Where were you born?
DT: Okay, fine.
[pause]
HH: All right. Im on with Donald Trump. So, where were you born?
DT: Can you give me a little . . .
HH: Im asking in which place you were born. Its not a gotcha question, Donald Trump. You know I dont do those here.
DT: Well, that is a gotcha question, though. I mean, you know, when youre asking me about where I was born, this this, thats not, that is not, I was really small at the time. I wasnt a politician then. All you need to know about this is that Ill be so good at births and deaths and all that stuff that your head will spin. Ill get the best genealogists for everybody, and the gynecologists for the women, who love me by the way and want to vote for me. I think what is really important is to pick out, and this is something Im so good at, to pick out who is the best; not to, you know, talk about things like where people were born.
HH: Except for . . .
DT: . . . except for Barack Obama who was probably born in Kenya, and Ted Cruz who isnt actually an American. Yes.
HH: All right, good. Lets talk about politics. Do you own a gun?
DT: You know, Id rather not say. Im quite an introvert.
HH: Introvert?
DT: I was on a stage the other day in front of 20,000 people, 30,000 people big stage, great crowd, all shouting my name, loved it, media hated it obviously but afterwards they came up and said it was the best rally theyd ever seen, and even the other candidates called me and praised me for my attacks on them and I was saying to them, these 40,000 people, how I dont need to tell anybody anything about myself because Im an introvert. They loved it, couldnt get enough. Very smart people, all 50,000 of them. None of them politicians. I was saying that they can find out about me in my book, The Art of the Deal, the best book other than the Bible. Excellent book. Publisher wants another one. Offered me a huge amount of money. Huge. Theyre all voting for me, the publishers. Theyre for Trump in Manhattan.
HH: All right. A lot of Second Amendment defenders care about this question: What do you understand by the term assault weapon?
DT: Well, yeah, I think that you know, the word assault weapon, and a lot of people, theres been a lot of controversy, but I wouldnt give you exact, I am in favor. I know some people at the NRA and the assault-weapons companies. Im for assaults. All of them. You name an assault, I want it. Define it and Ill help. Come to me with an offer.
HH: How about specifics: Should the AR-15 be legal?
DT: Of course. And the AR-16 and AR-17 too. By the way, the other candidates never say that. Professional politicians never talk about those guns. Look, I cant tell you what guns I have. As Ive been telling the massive crowds around the country, Im too private to share my thoughts. But if I did have a rifle, and I do, it would be the most luxurious rifle youve ever seen. It would have a big propeller on it, and a torch that shone Trump into the sky. And it would look exactly like a wall. Have you asked Jeb Bush if hes in favor of AR-16s, too? I bet hes not. Hes a nice guy. Hes a nice guy. Should I say this? Yes. Hes a nice guy. But hes not going to make America great again if he cant even talk about AR-16s.
HH: All right. A religious question now. What do you think of Kim Davis, the Kentucky clerk who is refusing to grant marriage licenses to gay couples?
DT: Well, Im big into religion. Huge. Huge. Im into God and Christianity and the flying people and the wafers. All that stuff. Big into the Testaments too. But I mean, the Supreme Court has ruled. Ken David is wrong.
HH: Kim Davis.
DT: Right. I mean, he has to follow the law and do his job, or let someone else do it.
HH: She.
DT: No more gotcha questions please, Hugh. But really, I want to know why people want licenses from Ken in the first place. I had my people look into it, and his licenses are not classy at all. Nobody knows how easy it would be to make a great license. So easy. When Im president, the licenses will be fantastic. The best. You want a license? You got it. Just come see me. Ill build you the best license youve ever seen: Itll be gay and powerful, and well make it very good looking. It would be as good as a marriage contract has got to be. I know a lot about this area, obviously.
HH: All right. Who would you want in your cabinet if you became president?
DT: Thats difficult to say. All the candidates want to be in a Trump administration. They tell me, secretly. All the other cabinet sort of people do as well: John Bolton, George Will, Hulk Hogan. They come to my office and they beg: I want to serve Trump, they say. But look, I dont know now. I cant answer, because in a year theyll all be dead. Ill tell you honestly, I think by the time I get to the White House, theyll all be gone. Theyll be all gone. I knew you were going to ask me things like this, and theres no reason for it. We have 18 point er, a lot of debt. Too much debt. Im against debt.
HH: Lets move on to foreign policy. Which European country do you consider to be Americas foremost ally on the world stage?
DT: I think Europe is definitely an important country for America. But Hugh, Europe isnt causing us problems by the way. Our big problem is China. China is just destroying us. China keeps devaluing their currency. China is devastating for us. China has sucked money and jobs out of the United States. Let me tell you, I was at an ATM yesterday trying to take out a lot of money. I cant tell you how much, but a lot of money. More money than you have. And my account was empty. And in its place on the screen it just said China, and there was a Mexican laughing. I have other accounts. Im fine. Hugely rich, actually. But thats who these people are. Im going to stand up to it. I wont have any Chinese people on The Apprentice.
HH: All right. But, and I hope you understand that Im asking these questions to see what you know, Europe isnt a country. Its a continent and, within it, there is a political and economic union. Is there a particular country you see as crucial to American policy?
DT: No, you know what? I didnt know that about Europe. But on my first day in office, or before then, right at the day after the election, Ill know more about it than you will ever know. That I can tell you.
HH: You cant name a single country in Europe?
DT: When its appropriate. I will know more about it than you know, and believe me, it wont take me long. I will get my Brain Quest cards and my pencils, and Ill be reading them while taking the oath.
HH: Thank you, Donald Trump. Always a pleasure. Congratulations on your success so far.
DT: Truly you are a third-rate lightweight loser. Dumb as a rock.
Rush, who loves parody, should get a giggle.
I wonder, can Trump laugh at himself?
ping
Funny, though not intentionally.
We’re beyond laughing want to know why you want the Establishment to finish off their destruction of the country.
I feel that’s what your support for him will do.
So Trump the lib dem is establishment GOP, is he?
Wow, another weak post from Cooke and NR/GOPe.
In other REAL news....how is Walker polling today? I can’t seem to locate him on the radar.
Wow that was about as amusing and a waste of time as watching SNL or Jon Stewart, and no I’m not Trump guy, I like Cruz. But dumb is dumb and this piece was just stupid. That’s my opinion and need not be shared or endorsed by anyone else, your opinion is your own and isn’t grand we live in a country where we are still allowed to have it.......................for a while yet.
Trump is ahead because everyone knows the cause cannot affect the cure.
I read the first line and thought - this is supposed to be funny? A total waste of time, but par for the course for the OP - a 24/7 Trump basher. She scours the internet for anti-Trump articles to post.
I skimmed it. It was sophomoric, not particularly clever, and provided no useful information. Plus, it reeked of sour grapes.
Wow you a Walker fans are desperate!
I’m sorry but if you really think because someone playing “gotcha” games with Trump, then that’s going to make people switch their vote to Walker? Really???
The last time I checked Walker fell further behind in all polls.
I’m waiting for a big guffaw out of Mitt Walker at 3% polling numbers. LOL!
Yawn.
When your Trump derangement syndrome has driven you to even bash Rush Limbaugh, it’s time to seek help.
Excuse me if I don't care.
Rush spending 3 hours on Trump > 3 hours on Walker.
Walker can put Jeb to sleep.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d6Fpgb3FmTc
I’m a Ph.D. history prof who keeps up with current events . . . and I didn’t know these guys’ names. My son is pretty informed, knows current events. He had no clue who the Quds are.
That’s not funny at all.
Carson has been stumped worse on foreign policy. So clearly the electorate doesn’t care if people know how to rattle off trivia about foreign countries and their leaders.
I’m still voting for Cruz, but this is not a meaningful strike against Trump. Only to snobby D.C. elitists.
Yeah, that IS his wife...
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