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The timing of this article is especially touching for me. Yesterday was the 51st anniversary of my Dad’s passing. He was 43 years old.

Cancer got him. I got closer to him in those horrible six months that it took for him to waste away and die. I don’t recall him ever telling me he loved me. He finally did in a letter I opened after he left us. It didn’t matter, I knew that he did.

We never had much extra money for foolish things but he always managed to find enough for that special birthday or Christmas gift. He loved my Mother unconditionally - no harsh words, no physical abuse, and certainly no philandering. If he was a little late for dinner, you wouldn’t find him at a tavern, you’d find him at the garage where he worked, trying to put a little bit extra on his next pay check.

I wanted to go up to the cemetery and visit for a while yesterday but it was raining and cold, very much like that awful afternoon so many years ago. Anyway, it’s only half a mile from me and I can go anytime. Yeah, I’m rationalizing, but I’m afraid I wasn’t a very good son my last few years of high school and I was often disrespectful. He didn’t deserve it and I get a hurt way down deep inside when stand there looking at his grave.

I’ve tried to break the cycle of not showing that needed affection for my sons and now my grandkids. It wasn’t easy to do at first but today it’s become as natural as breathing. there are hugs all around when we get together and phone calls to those living in other towns and states alway end with “I love you”.

I know I’m not the only one who has had to stop worrying about affection and “manliness”. If this causes you to feel just a little guilty, hug your family. Do it right now! It will make you, and me, a lot happier.