Posted on 03/27/2016 2:22:46 PM PDT by Kaslin
The National Enquirer should retract their outlandish story that Sen. Ted Cruz had affairs with five women outside the bonds of his holy matrimony.
After this incredible and scandalous story broke, I was personally so outraged and disgusted that I did just like a candidate would do and hired a very expensive and classy research firm to do a poll.
It was time to make America not just great again, but time for all Americans to know: Was Ted great in bed?
The nationwide survey showed that the truth is much more shocking even than the allegation that Ted had five lovers.
Tragically, pollsters could not find one woman in the United States, Puerto Rico, Guam, Northern Mariana Islands, the U.S. Virgin Islands or American Samoa who wants to have sex with Ted Cruz.
Even the high-priced D.C. call girl alluded to in the Enquirer story immediately gave up sex, fired her answering service and sued her madam for creating a hostile work environment just for sending her out Cruising. I thought my booker said Tom Cruise! Mistress X told a source. Imagine my horror when a man opened the door dressed as an apostle!
(Excerpt) Read more at nydailynews.com ...
In my opinion all politicians are at least a little shady, but even I heard these rumors several months ago, so I’m sure “insiders” knew about them way before last week. There really was no need for Trump to “leak” them, they were out there for a while. Also, it seems many sources are contributing the leak to Rubio.
Who says he leaks them? This sort of thing follows every campaign and gains plausibility because every major candidate is a celebrity, and celebrities are small gods and capable of raising and dashing our hopes. They are people we do not know but think we do.
Anyone can look at my homepage and see that ugly old effers can get decent looking women to marry ya and make babies and raise a family with you
You just have to make them believe in you and treat them good just short of being a chump
Women play chumps....they don’t respect them
These women would jump at the chance to sleep with a sitting govt official. The women then have them for blackmail forever.. (500k to Carly’s campaign?) Looks make no difference in this sleazy business.
Nobody's saying that the alleged mistresses are "respectable women".
Yes, YOU are a respectable woman. And you tend to associate with other women who share your viewpoint. Do not make the mistake of thinking that all women are "respectable women".
I would add that I’m an unattractive man (wardaddy looks handsome next to me), and I’ve had a number of women make advances at me over the years.
ROTFLOL. So did Ted have sex w/ his sandals on or off?
He looks like the type of guy who wears socks with his sandals.
LOL.
Gov Spitzer/s prostie said he wore socks during their trysts.
Who could forget that detail? He’s up to his old tricks again, I hear.
Did his long-suffering wife finally leave him?
I think I read that somewhere.
If you look at all of the past political sex scandals that the National Enquirer has reported on, John Edwards, Herman Cain, Jessie Jackson, Anthony Weiner, etc., etc., they have a very, very formulaic pattern for how they break these stories. First they come out with a teaser issue which is very short on facts. Then they wait for the hapless politician to react and drive up interest in the story.
Ted Cruz has reacted better than they could possibly have ever hoped for. The media signaled that they were going to just sit on this one, but Ted brought it into the national consciousness in a spectacular way, blaming Trump and calling him a “sniveling coward”, etc... Everyone now knows about it.
So then the next week the Enquirer releases a little bit more. The first issue in the series sells barely more than normal, but the second issue sells a lot more than normal, and the third issue sells more than the second. Eventually, a story like this sells hundreds of millions of little newsprint weeklies at $5 a copy. The Enquirer has this down to an art form.
The Enquirer doesn’t care about this contest, or the candidates, or the country for that matter, they just want to sell their little newsprint weeklies for $5 a piece. They are going to drag this thing out as long as possible. Their timing on this one was perfect for selling magazines; they will have approximately ten more issues coming out between now and California. It is just going to keep dripping out. The real beneficiary is Hillary Clinton because Cruz, the wounded animal will keep lashing out at Trump and Trump will keep reacting and it will keep them from going after Hillary as they should.
If the last week is any indicator there is a fairly good chance that Cruz’s advisers will not be able to get him back on track and his campaign will implode in a spectacular way. That would probably be the kindest thing that could happen for all of us. Hopefully Trump will be able to position himself far enough away from the crater.
Don’t forget to include Sarah Palin in all the sex scandals the NE reported.
tRump is a “sniveling coward”.
Beandog, congratulations! You have found the perfect candidate for you. Did you have a bad childhood like Raphael (Ted)? Were both your parents alcoholics? Did your dad abandon your family when you were little? We are currently witnessing one of the most impressive political implosions of all time; it is because Raphael is playing into their hands. He either has bad advisors or he is not listening to them.
Raphael could have just ignored the National Enquirer story and if there was nothing to it; it would have just gone away like the Sarah Palin story you refer to. Poof, it is gone, she ignored it and the only ones who remember it now are Palin haters such as yourself. But no, Raphael managed to make his infidelity the sordid Topic at every family gathering over the Easter weekend. Smart move Raphael! You two deserve each other.
Why would you expect any of them to do so? Are they under some legal obligation to admit they had a roll in the hay with Calgary Ted?
Btt
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