Stasi: Ted Cruz had five mistresses? I can't find one woman who would sleep with him

New York Daily News ^ | March 27, 2016 | Linda Stasi

[Kaslin]

The National Enquirer should retract their outlandish story that Sen. Ted Cruz had affairs with five women outside the bonds of his holy matrimony.

After this incredible and scandalous story broke, I was personally so outraged and disgusted that I did just like a candidate would do and hired a very expensive and classy research firm to do a poll.

It was time to make America not just great again, but time for all Americans to know: Was Ted great in bed?

The nationwide survey showed that the truth is much more shocking even than the allegation that Ted had five lovers.

Tragically, pollsters could not find one woman in the United States, Puerto Rico, Guam, Northern Mariana Islands, the U.S. Virgin Islands or American Samoa who wants to have sex with Ted Cruz.

Even the high-priced D.C. call girl alluded to in the Enquirer story immediately gave up sex, fired her answering service and sued her madam for creating a hostile work environment just for sending her out Cruising. “I thought my booker said Tom Cruise!” Mistress X told a source. “Imagine my horror when a man opened the door dressed as an apostle!”

[JBW1949]

Some women would sleep with Hillary if paid enough...

Paging Huma to the white courtesy phone....

[drewh]

L’affaire of Ted Cruz https://medium.com/@Blackppl4Trump/l-affaire-of-ted-cruz-c1818b9db18f#.34efgzol6

[PapaBear3625]

I can't find one woman who would sleep with him

Exhibit A Keith Richards and his wife

Exhibit B: Steve Tyler and girlfriend

Exhibit C: Charles Manson

Bottom line: a famous guy can be ugly as hell, and women will throw themselves at him.

A guy with POWER, like Senator Cruz, former Solicitor General of Texas, WILL have women coming on to him. They will come onto him because he has money, because he has the ability to do favors (I'm sure lobbyists and people affected by the Texas Solicitor General have LOTS of pretty girls on their payrolls), and just because he's got power.

[Cobra64]

Well at least we know Trump is safe from Ted copulating with him. :-)

https://boingboing.net/2016/03/25/ted-cruz-on-trump-i-have-no.html

[driftdiver]

He has kids right? A pretty sleazy story.

Of course there’s lots of women willing to sleep with Trump for a little gold.

[BobL]

“If Stasi “I hate Trump” the stasi said it. Yeah right LoL.”

The Stasi was disbanded while Cruz was still in HIGH SCHOOL, so I don’t quite get why they’re even a factor here.

That’s one of the problems I have with Cruz, he’s too young to have even been paying attention during much of the Cold War.

[PAR35]

Wilbur Mills was no dreamboat, but he didn’t have any problem finding mistresses. Looks aren’t necessary if there is enough money or power involved.

[relentlessly]

He's get the look.....

[TaMoDee]

I saw this that a couple of years ago.
The caption was: “Guess who won the mega lottery?”

[Cobra64]

So... Okay, Ted slept with none of thes women. He just schlonged them.

[lee martell]

Lol! Badda-Bing!

[Robert DeLong]

This is such an obvious fake story created out of whole cloth. Then again it could explain the depression Heidi was experiencing. The realization that she was the only woman in the world who would sleep with Ted.

Perhaps she might hire that same firm to see how many men would sleep with her.

[beandog]

I don’t want to have sex with any of them. The thought never even entered my mind.

I do think it’d be really creepy to have sex with the Donald though.

[nopardons]

Yes, on a campaign bus. Really YUCK !

HAPPY EASTER, my friend.

[Aria]

Who cares...they’re attached to him.

[Aria]

Actually...that’s pretty funny....the Reader’s Digest version of the Cuban Mistress Crisis...LOL

[beandog]

That’s how the Donald got all of his women. Ugly as hell, both inside and out, but has a lot of money.

[deport]

He is an ugly dude,

****************

Besides that he’s a short fellar also at 5’8” tall.

[nopardons]

Oh nonsense; you HATE Trump, so of course you say such things. While not having "movie star looks" ( and I mean OLD TIME male movie stars, when the men were handsome! ), Trump has never been ugly; unlike TED.

I bet that YOU would have relations with Teddy. LOL

[nopardons]

And Ted is paunchy and losing his hair.