Stasi: Ted Cruz had five mistresses? I can't find one woman who would sleep with him

New York Daily News ^ | March 27, 2016 | Linda Stasi

[Kaslin]

The National Enquirer should retract their outlandish story that Sen. Ted Cruz had affairs with five women outside the bonds of his holy matrimony.

After this incredible and scandalous story broke, I was personally so outraged and disgusted that I did just like a candidate would do and hired a very expensive and classy research firm to do a poll.

It was time to make America not just great again, but time for all Americans to know: Was Ted great in bed?

The nationwide survey showed that the truth is much more shocking even than the allegation that Ted had five lovers.

Tragically, pollsters could not find one woman in the United States, Puerto Rico, Guam, Northern Mariana Islands, the U.S. Virgin Islands or American Samoa who wants to have sex with Ted Cruz.

Even the high-priced D.C. call girl alluded to in the Enquirer story immediately gave up sex, fired her answering service and sued her madam for creating a hostile work environment just for sending her out Cruising. “I thought my booker said Tom Cruise!” Mistress X told a source. “Imagine my horror when a man opened the door dressed as an apostle!”

[Eleutheria5]

Worked for Caligula and Judaean Governor Rufus.

[SevenofNine]

As a woman I agreed LOL!

[publius911]

I can't find one woman who would sleep with him

OK.
That settles it then...

< /sarc >

<...who said anything about sleeping?...

[Vision Thing]

LOL!! CopulaTED!

The rest of your post is pure gold, but I walk away from it carrying this one new verbal killshot in my arsenal.

[octex]

That’s one of the problems I have with Cruz, he’s too young to have even been paying attention during much of the Cold War.
***************************
That would have been tough, since Cruz wasn’t born until ‘70 or ‘71.

[Innovative]

“Stasi: Ted Cruz had five mistresses? I can’t find one woman who would sleep with him”

I had the same reaction...

[grey_whiskers]

Cruz is TOAST.

Pauline Kael meets Bill Clinton's legendary "arousal gap".

[The Sons of Liberty]

A lot of women are drawn to the power they perceive a politician wields.

[Leto]

Yes Stasi has been in NYC for many years and saw Trump up close and personal and knows what a scumbag the guy is.

[Leo Carpathian]

Non eligible, not Natural Born Citizen, Cuban-Canadian, Pinocchio Ted attacking Big Donald at CNN freestyle match.

Cruz "character":

1. Phony summonses mailed out, scaring people to vote for Cruz.

2. Claiming Carson quit, presinc captains told voters "vote for Cruz"

3. Campaigning in the 800 churches, showing video "vote for me" with his preacher/father stomping for him. Rafael Cruz is a Seven Mountain Dominionist and believes his son is the anointed one.

4. "Brilliant" lawyer, did not know he was Canadian citizen and that he is not Natural Born Citizen, not eligible for office of P or VP.

5. Making phony video advertising with lies about opponents.

Just enough to beat Trump in IA, apologize, rinse and repeat?
Liar is the polite term for this Cuban. His father was pro-communist in Cuba, imprisoned by Batista, but now he is refugee?

IRREFUTABLE AUTHORITY HAS SPOKEN

(Oct. 18, 2009) The Post & Email has in several articles mentioned that the Supreme Court of the United States has given the definition of what a "natural born citizen" is. Since being a natural born citizen is an objective qualification and requirement of office for the U.S. President (and VP), it is important for all U.S. Citizens to understand what this term means.

http://www.thepostemail.com/2009/10/18/4-supreme-court-cases-define-natural-born-citizen/

[oldasrocks]

Trying not to imagine Ted and Hilary.

[r_barton]

[miss marmelstein]

Happy Easter, FRiend!

[RobbyS]

No, but I do wonder about a guy who trades in wives every few years.

[cynwoody]

Found a picture of some fat guy with a chick on the internet and that is supposed to prove something?

You haven't seen that one before? I've come across it dozens of times. The caption is usually, "How to tell a rich guy."

ttp://bbsimg.ngfiles.com/1/3411000/ngbbs41619393ee0a5.jpg

So I pasted your mis-copied url into Google Images, and look what comes out! LOL!

[gubamyster]

Well, it might not be my way of conducting my personal business, but at least he isn’t lying about it and accusing others of fabricating stories.

[RobbyS]

What makes you think he is telling the whole story? As a businessman, he seems to be a dilettante. That does not mean he is not able. Charles Rolls was a man who moved from one enthusiasm to another, but he found in Royce the greatest auto engineer in the world and between them we get some of the best cars in the world. Don’t think he ever found a Royce to stabilize his carer.

[CrimsonTidegirl]

“If she doesn’t realize some women find power to be the ultimate aphrodisiac, I have two words for her-
Henry Kissinger.”

That also could explain the affair between the Alabama Governor, 73 year old Robert Bentley, and his much younger “alleged” mistress.

I don’t know if you’ve ever seen Gov. Bentley but I’m not able to post pics right now. All I can say is, he actually makes Kissinger look halfway decent.

Blech!

[Impy]

His belly isn’t the only thing that’s big.

Either his bank account must be or something else...

LOL

[onyx]

I didn't make my comment based on Cruz's looks.

Actually, I don't find Senator Cruz unattactive! He's all right in the looks department. Possibly a little short at 5'8" ... but that's his only drawback.

It's just that IMHO and based on my experience when I was young and single, he doesn't have that "Come on," look about him.

Furthermore, NO respectable woman would ever consider Ted Cruz because he is married man! Married men never held any interest for me!

His marital status is the number one reason I remain hesitant to believe all of these stories, although the evidence is piling up and he has yet to deliver a full or actual denial.