I don't think Freehling viewed secession as inevitable as you do. Sure it was talked about by various states in moments of frustration, but even during the Hartford Convention in 1814 or the Nullification Crisis in 1832 secession was not the primary goal. It wasn't until the Republican win in 1860 did the South put actions behind their words. Had Douglas or Breckenridge won then secession wouldn't have been mentioned much less acted upon.
The Democrats were ready to secede in early 1860. They did not act until Lincoln was elected but the plans were already in place.
Secession was never put to a popular vote or publicly debated in the southern states. It was put through the legislatures in very quick votes by a small, highly organized group of secessionists.
The southern people suffered greatly from secession. If they understood the consequences and it had been put up for a vote I wonder if they would have voted to secede from the union.