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You Might Be a Gun Nut If...
Keep and Bear Arms ^ | Randy Lyman

Posted on 11/08/2001 6:44:09 AM PST by SJackson

... you ever seriously thought about dabbing on a little Hoppe's #9 before going out on a date.
...you buy some checkering tools, you checker all your gun stocks, and then start on the bedposts.
...you cannot recall how many firearms you own.
...you buy a gun that's just like that other gun you have except the barrel is 1/2" shorter (or longer).
...you buy a gun at a shop only to find out you used to own it a couple of years ago.
...you know 12 different names for one caliber of cartridge.
...you ever clean a gun that hasn't been shot in the week since you cleaned it last.
...you consider naming your unborn child Winchester or Remington.
...you purchased two Glocks and two Sigs just to see which brand was better.
...your drive to work is filled with reverie about why Ed's Red actually works.
...you strip all the paint off our car and refinish it with cold blue.
...you ever bought ammo in a caliber for which you have no gun, because you thought some day you MIGHT get a gun in that caliber.
...your collection of American Rifleman back issues, Gun Digests and reloading manuals cost you a premium the last time you moved.
...you have more than one gun that "kills on both ends."
...you buy high capacity magazines for a gun you have not bought yet.
...you take your guns out of the safe each night and handle them, just so you can wipe them off before putting them away.
...your mother-in-law asks what new gun junk you want for Christmas this year.
...you see TV footage of the war in Bosnia and wish you were there to pick up the brass.
...you drive 300 miles just to ogle (and fire) HK-MP5s (and Stens, Uzis, BMGs and whatever else shows up at Knob Creek).
...you keep a loaded gun hidden in every room in the house, including the bathroom and kitchen, "just in case," and then keep one on you at all times just in case someone breaks in while you're in the hallway.
...you consider it unpatriotic not to own at least one .45 and one .22.
...you named your pocket pistol "Little Guy" and your 12 gauge "Big Jake."
...you own reloading dies for calibers that you do not shoot.
...you tape American Shooter so you can pause, reverse and fast forward to do a complete analysis of the show.
...you understand Smith & Wesson's model numbers.
...you ever bought two brands of the same weight and type of bullet, just to see if one "shot better."
...you keep a collection of different cartridges at your place of work as a "conversation piece."
...you take your wife on vacation to a gun show for your 10th Anniversary and she is as excited to go as you are.
...you ever had to explain, "It's NOT the same gun, it's a variation!"
...you and your new father-in-law go to a gun show on your wedding day.
...you have life memberships in more than one shooting organization.
...you read that "Brady II" would outlaw possession of more than 1,000 rounds of ammunition and think, "I have more than that rolling around loose in the trunk of my car!"
...watching The Lion King gives you the itch for a .470 Nitro Express.
... while watching the movie Terminator 2, you have to leave the room in tears and mournful sobs after Arnold Schwartzenneger throws the CAR-16 off the moving tractor trailer and it goes bouncing away.
...you go to three different gun shows within a month and you're excited every single time.
...your guns are cleaner than your residence.
...you have 5 different guns being DROS'd at 3 different FFL dealers.
...you plunked down a $130 deposit on a Seecamp after waiting two years for them to accept your order, and are still willing to wait another two years for them to make your pistol.
...your mom gives you a new Springfield Armory .308 sniper rifle for Christmas.
...four local gun shops know you by name.
...you have your own BATF agent (mounted any suitable way).
...you're friends with 90% of the employee's at all the local gun shops.
...you identify the gun on the cover of Dillons Blue Press before you even notice the girl.
...when you stop in at the local gun shop, they ask you questions like: "How was work?" "How are the wife and kids?" "We're gonna order some food, ya want in?" etc.
...you have more gunpowder stashed in your home than your local sporting goods store has on hand.
...you can wallpaper your house with old issues of Shotgun News, Gun List, Guns & Ammo, etc.
...all of your children are life members of the NRA.
...your children are named "Ogive" and "Meplat."
...if you make $30 per hour at work, but spend 30 minutes on your knees at the range looking for that last piece of .40 S&W brass.
...you have Brownells on speed dial.
...you trimmed down 100 10mm cases to form .357 Sig brass before commercial supplies of this brass were available.
...the custom door lock pulls on your Jeep are .223 Rem cases and the gear shift knob is a .50 BMG.
...your girl friend thinks that aura of Hoppes #9 is your favorite after shave.
...you have guns in your safe that you can't, for the life of you, remember how you came by.


TOPICS: Editorial; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS:
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To: SJackson
BUMP
21 posted on 11/08/2001 8:46:59 AM PST by Aurelius
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To: SJackson
...you consider naming your unborn child Winchester or Remington.

John Moses Browning FreedomFarmer IV

22 posted on 11/08/2001 9:16:06 AM PST by FreedomFarmer
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To: SJackson
...you consider naming your unborn child Winchester or Remington.

lil' sis: Gwen Uzi FreedomFarmer

23 posted on 11/08/2001 9:18:37 AM PST by FreedomFarmer
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Comment #24 Removed by Moderator

Comment #25 Removed by Moderator

To: SJackson
You are getting married, so you call Natchez Shooters' Supply to see if you can register.
26 posted on 11/08/2001 9:32:50 AM PST by RogueIsland
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To: Dan from Michigan
FYI bump
27 posted on 11/08/2001 9:39:07 AM PST by calvin sun
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To: ChareltonHest
...you spend 4 to 7 hours making sure your gun is cleaning.(me -seriously)

Me too until I figured out how to keep them clean. The secret is to never, NEVER leave the range with a dirty gun. Seriously, in benchrest, my preferred sport, 20 rounds without cleaning is unusual.

28 posted on 11/08/2001 11:31:18 AM PST by 6ppc
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To: SJackson
If you read this....
29 posted on 11/08/2001 2:41:53 PM PST by exmoor
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To: SJackson
GREAT stuff!!
30 posted on 11/08/2001 9:41:04 PM PST by dcwusmc
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To: Space Wrangler
LOL! I love Pat McManus... I remember that story but can't remember which of his books it was reprinted in.
Guess I should get a new library card and check his books out again..they are great for a laugh.

I found a few of them on the Field and Stream site.

My favorite Buck on a Bike! was added a few months ago.

;-`)

31 posted on 11/08/2001 10:42:55 PM PST by CARDINALRULES
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To: SJackson
...you think your AR-15 .223 5.56 mm will kill an anthrax spore or a smallpox virus.
32 posted on 11/08/2001 10:49:27 PM PST by Terrorista Nada
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To: SJackson
"you ever bought two brands of the same weight and type of bullet, just to see if one "shot better."

Uh, yes. Bought Winchester and Federal .308 for that very reason.

Now I'm a Southern boy who shoots Federal ammo.

(Hey, is somebody making fun of me??!)

33 posted on 11/08/2001 10:54:59 PM PST by Southack
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To: SJackson
Excellent :)
34 posted on 11/08/2001 11:15:54 PM PST by Centurion2000
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To: SJackson
... while watching the movie Terminator 2, you have to leave the room in tears and mournful sobs after Arnold Schwartzenneger throws the CAR-16 off the moving tractor trailer and it goes bouncing away.

You might NOT be a gun nut if... you call it a "CAR-16" and not a "CAR-15."

35 posted on 11/08/2001 11:38:33 PM PST by xm177e2
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Comment #36 Removed by Moderator

To: SJackson
...you can actually maintain a straight face while suggesting that your $350 progressive reloader saves you money.

...you buy a progressive reloader to replace the single stage you picked up at a garage sale, because the single stage can't keep up with your ammo usage.

...you've ever sorted your brass and bullets by weight.

...you know what mil-dots are, and how to use them.

...you take a shopping list with you to every gun show.

...you've ever made black powder, from scratch.

...you've ever made nitro-cellulose (smokeless powder, also known as gun cotton), from scratch.

...you sport wood when you see a bag of once-fired brass on a table at a gun show with the head stamp "L C MATCH".

37 posted on 11/09/2001 2:03:27 AM PST by Monitor
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To: PatrioticAmerican
Okay, so it's not a gun, I still like it!


38 posted on 11/09/2001 2:11:26 AM PST by Travis McGee
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To: SJackson
I have a friend like that; he qualifies for at least ten of those
39 posted on 11/09/2001 2:15:58 AM PST by Winged Elf
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To: Travis McGee
Nothing says "Leave my property!" like that "OR ELSE!"
40 posted on 11/09/2001 6:31:00 AM PST by PatrioticAmerican
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