Posted on 05/17/2002 10:38:00 AM PDT by Korth
Channel Ten's The Secret Life Of Us is being hailed as breaking new ground by depicting the abortion decision as difficult and emotionally confronting. The Sunday Age described the May 6 episode in which Claudia Karvan's character Alex has an abortion as "a watershed moment" tackling "one of television's last taboos".
Writer Judi McCrossin said the writers had aimed for realism when writing the script. "More than anything, we wanted it to be truthful."
It is good that The Secret Life Of Us depicts the emotional upheaval prior to an abortion decision. This internal havoc has not been well acknowledged in the past.
Alex is torn. She knows she cannot look to the baby's father, Rex, for support.
"I don't want to ring up and say 'I'm pregnant' and hear that horrible silence... I guess there's a romantic side of me that would like him to turn up and announce he wants to marry me... I know that'll never happen." She feels it's "better for everyone, the baby and the mum, if the dad is around".
So far, so good.
But if television really wants to challenge taboos, establish watersheds and be truthful, it needs to go further than an isolated look at the immediate decision to abort. It should also reflect the reality of women whose lives have been devastated by abortion. No scriptwriter seems to want to touch this one.
Is that it now for Alex and her abortion? Over and done with in just one episode?
Or will Alex wake up on a tear-drenched pillow on the baby's would-have-been birthday? Will she cry "I just want to hold my baby" over and over again?
Will she dream of the baby, fantasise about whether it was a boy or girl, and become pregnant again to try to make up for her loss? Will she have grief reactions when she gives birth to her first live child?
Will she feel cheated no one told her of the possible psychological aftermath?
Will Alex realise that although a baby is forever, so is an abortion?
These were some of the after-effects experienced by the 250 contributors to my book Giving Sorrow Words: Women's Stories of Grief After Abortion. And it is the experience of the many women who have contacted me since the book's publication, such as D from New South Wales who described herself and women like her as "duped, lied to, ignored, discriminated against, unloved, unsupported, violated and left for dead".
"I wanted to drive to my ex-GP and yell 'you horrible bastard' and ask him why didn't he tell me, prepare me, warn me," D wrote.
Some of these women are taking legal action against abortion providers for failure to warn of psychological risks. There have been five out-of-court settlements in recent years, with more in the pipeline.
Secret Life's Alex did not make an informed decision. She was told nothing about possible psychological consequences. In this, the program demonstrates remarkable insight into the pre-termination process as experienced by many women.
With deadpan expression and monotonous tone, her GP gives her the spiel: "... commonly performed surgical procedure... pretty safe". The clinic nurse mentions, briefly, a risk of bleeding and infection. But nothing more. It's all normal, common, standard, gentle.
Throughout both sessions, Alex expresses mixed feelings. "I'm not anti-abortion... I just feel guilty about me having one... I could support a child... I'm not ready to be a parent, but I could get ready," she says.
But her ambivalence, her voicing the possibility of being able to prepare herself for a child, isn't properly explored. She baulks at the ultrasound - told it is to "check the size of the foetus" - but her reaction to it is also not explored.
Because she was pregnant, she'd refused alcohol. Later she says through tears: "Now I can drink because I'm not going to have a baby. It's OK to pollute my body because the baby's not going to survive anyway."
But again her feelings about the baby are drowned out by everyone else giving the abortion their stamp of approval. "You're doing the right thing," they assure her. "You won't regret it."
Alex is told that because of the mild sedatives she will most likely have "no recollection of the procedure". But sedatives won't erase the memory of the baby she once carried.
After the abortion, Evan observes "a look in Alex's face I hadn't seen before - a sadness that hadn't been there yesterday". Will this sadness be explored? It's doubtful. While subdued for most of Monday night's episode, by program's end Alex was laughing along with the rest of the gang at the laughter club.
If Secret Life wanted to go all the way, it would explore not only the feelings of a woman before having an abortion, but the harrowing outcomes in the secret lives of many women after abortion.
Perhaps we could see Alex listening again to the African-Cuban music she danced to with Evan, hands on her tummy - "that's when I danced with my baby". Or perhaps she could remember talking to baby Angus, nestled on her bed, the smell of him - and is suddenly aware of her rifled womb and empty arms.
The episode ends with a song, whose refrain is "Don't ask for more". But Alex might realise that she wanted more after all.
"Alex Wants Her Baby Back". Now that would be truly radical TV.
This is apparently an Australian TV show. Gee, I can't wait for PBS to show this. They (or ABC, NBC, CBS) probably will air this show at the approximate time hell freezes over.
Isn't it sad that the U.S. media refuses to confront our generation's holocaust?
She feels it's "better for everyone, the baby and the mum, if the dad is around".
So, did they ask her how it is "better for the baby" now that her baby is dead?
WFTR
Bill
I see. Stable women abort their sons and daughters without regret....That's the ticket.
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