Skip to comments.Abdul Gets A Job With The FBI
Posted on 06/04/2002 6:17:16 AM PDT by Stand Watch Listen
According to an Associated Press report of May 30, 2002, the FBI recently set up a recruiting booth at a mosque in Patterson, New Jersey, hoping to recruit Islamics as FBI agents. On the same day, Fox News reported that Chicago-based FBI Special Agent Robert Wright recently complained that "he was prevented from pursuing an investigation after an unnamed Muslim special agent refused to wear a wire during a probe because, as the Muslim agent, allegedly said, `Muslims don't record other Muslims.'"
Intrigued by this touching demonstration of loyalty, we recently dispatched our Magic Eye (the green tube with the cat's whiskers from our RCA Victor radio) to the FBI's headquarters here in Washington, where it chanced upon a job interview with another Mohammedan seeking to become an FBI agent:
FBI: For the record, sir, would you please state your full name?
Answer: Abdul Hadji al-Hashshashin.
FBI: And your citizenship?
Abdul: I am a member of the Ummah, the community of all Islamic believers.
FBI: Of what country are you a citizen, sir?
Abdul: Countries are not legitimate in Islam. As a follower of the Prophet, my loyalty is to Islam and Islam only.
FBI: Uh, OK. Just what does Islam mean to you, Mr. Al-Hashshashin?
Abdul: Islam means I do what the Koran says and I model my life on the life of the Prophet Mohammed.
FBI: Mr. al-Hashshashin, as a Moslem, what is your view of terrorism?
Abdul: The Koran says, "We will put terror into the hearts of the unbelievers."
FBI: I see. Is that what Mohammed said?
Abdul: According to the Hadith, Mohammed said, "I have been made victorious with terror."
FBI: What about the innocent lives that are lost to terrorism?
Abdul: According to the Hadith, "The Prophet...was asked whether it was permissible to attack the pagan warriors at night with the probability of exposing their women and children to danger. The Prophet replied, `They are from them.'"
FBI: Who do you mean by unbelievers?
Abdul: The Koran says, "Unbelievers are those who declare `God is the Messiah, the son of Mary."
FBI: What about the Jews?
Abdul: Mohammed said, "Kill any Jew that falls into your power."
FBI: Mr. al-Hashshashin, if you are accepted as an FBI agent, will you be able to work with other agents who are not Moslems?
Abdul: The Koran says, "Let not believers make friends with infidels in preference to the faithful."
FBI: If I were to ask you to sum up your view, as a Moslem, of your fellow FBI agents, many of whom will be Christians and Jews, what would you say?
Abdul: The Koran says, "Fight against such of those to whom the Scriptures were given as believe in neither God nor the Last Day, who do not forbid what God and His Apostle have forbidden, and do not embrace the true Faith, until they pay tribute out of hand and are utterly subdued."
FBI: Well, Mr. al-Hashshashin, it is obvious to us that you are indeed a good Moslem. And since the Attorney General has made it very clear that any kind of profiling is forbidden, I am happy to be able to say that you are now an agent of the FBI. Congratulations!
Abdul: Thank you. And now, if I may ask one question, where am I to be assigned in the FBI?
FBI: Let me see, I think we have that already. Yes, here it is: Mr. al-Hashshashin, you have been assigned to the FBI's crack Fifth Column!
Abdul: Praise be to Allah! In thanks for this wonderful opportunity, might I send a personal word to the Attorney General?
FBI: Certainly, Mr. al-Hashshashin. What would you like to tell Mr. Ashcroft?
Abdul: May the sand fleas of ten thousand camels infect the crotch of your firstborn.
William S. Lind is Director of the Center for Cultural Conservatism at the Free Congress Foundation.
Free Congress Foundation
This was reportedly the third time that this agent refused to tape muslims.
Subject: Re: The Jihad
Allah's Apostle said, "I have been sent with the shortest expressions bearing the widest meanings, and I have been made victorious with terror, and while I was sleeping, the keys of the treasures of the world were brought to me and put in my hand." Abu Huraira added: Allah's Apostle has left the world and now you, people, are bringing out those treasures. - Sahih Al Bukhari Volume 4, Book 52, Number 220 Abu Huraira reported that the Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon hlmg) said: I have been given superiority over the other prophets in six respects: I have been given words which are concise but comprehensive in meaning; I have been helped by terror (in the hearts of enemies): spoils have been made lawful to me: the earth has been made for me clean and a place of worship; I have been sent to all mankind and the line of prophets is closed with me. - Sahih Muslim Book 004, Number 1062