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The Profile Test
My email ^ | June 19, 2002 | Unknown

Posted on 06/19/2002 10:33:16 AM PDT by Pern

THE TEST

To ensure we Americans never offend anyone - particularly fanatics intent on killing us - airport screeners will not be allowed to profile people. They will continue random searches of 80-year-old women, little kids, airline pilots with proper identification, secret Service agents who are members of the President's security detail, 85-year old Congressmen with metal hips, and Medal of Honor winning former Governors. Let's pause a moment and take the following test:

In 1972 at the Munich Olympics, athletes were kidnapped & massacred by:

(a) Olga Corbutt

(b) Sitting Bull

(c) Arnold Schwartzeneger

(d) al Qaida-type male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 & 40

In 1979, the U.S. embassy in Iran was taken over by:

(a) Lost Norwegians

(b) Elvis

(c) A tour bus full of 80-year-old women

(d) al Qaida-type male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 & 40

During the 1980's a number of Americans were kidnapped in Lebanon by:

(a) John Dillinger

(b) The King of Sweden

(c) The Boy Scouts

(d) al Qaida-type male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 & 40

In 1983, the U.S. Marine barracks in Beirut was blown up by:

(a) A pizza delivery boy

(b) Pee Wee Herman

(c) Geraldo Rivera making up for a slow news day

(d) al Qaida-type male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 & 40

In 1985 the cruise ship Achille Lauro was hijacked, and a 70-year-old American passenger was murdered and thrown overboard by:

(a) The Smurfs

(b) Davy Jones

(c) The Little Mermaid

(d) al Qaida-type male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 & 40

In 1985 TWA flight 847 was hijacked at Athens, & a U.S. Navy diver was murdered by:

(a) Captain Kid

(b) Charles Lindberg

(c) Mother Teresa

(d) al Qaida-type male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 & 40

In 1988, Pan Am Flight 103 was bombed by:

(a) Scooby Doo

(b) The Tooth Fairy

(c) Butch Cassidy & The Sundance Kid who had a few sticks of dynamite

(d) al Qaida-type male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 & 40

In 1993 the World Trade Center was bombed the first time by:

(a) Richard Simmons

(b) Grandma Moses

(c) Michael Jordan

(d) al Qaida-type male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 & 40

In 1998, the U.S. embassies in Kenya and Tanzania were bombed by:

(a) Mr. Rogers

(b) Hillary, to distract attention from Wild Bill's women problems

(c) The World Wrestling Federation to promote its next villain: "Mustapha the Merciless!"

(d) al Qaida-type male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 & 40

On 9/11/01, four airliners were hijacked & destroyed & thousands of people were killed by:

(a) Bugs Bunny, Wiley E. Coyote, Daffy Duck, and Elmer Fudd

(b) The Supreme Court of Florida

(c) Mr. Bean

(d) al Qaida-type male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 & 40

In 2002 the United States fought a war in Afghanistan against:

(a) Enron

(b) The Lutheran Church

(c) The NFL

(d) al Qaida-type male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 & 40

In 2002 reporter Daniel Pearl was kidnapped and murdered by:

(a) Bonny and Clyde

(b) Captain Kangaroo

(c) Billy Graham

(d) al Qaida-type male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 & 40

Hmmm...nope, no patterns anywhere to justify profiling?


TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: arabs; middleeast; racialprofiling

1 posted on 06/19/2002 10:33:17 AM PDT by Pern
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To: Pern
Ive gotten this as e-mail before too. Pretty good.
2 posted on 06/19/2002 10:34:29 AM PDT by FreeTally
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To: Pern
I have seen this several times.

Do you know why the U.S.S. Cole attack is omitted?

3 posted on 06/19/2002 10:37:26 AM PDT by ez2muz
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To: ez2muz
No I don't, but very good point.
4 posted on 06/19/2002 10:38:10 AM PDT by Pern
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To: Pern
How would most likely get searched by US airport security?

A) Al Gore

B) Mother Theresa

C) Pippi Longstocking

D) al Qaida-type male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 & 40

Answer, Not D.

5 posted on 06/19/2002 10:42:59 AM PDT by Semper Paratus
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To: ez2muz
Here ya go:

In October, 2000 the USS Cole was attacked and severely damaged by:

(a) Ethel Merman

(b) Mark Spitz

(c) Shamu

(d) al Qaida-type male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 & 40

6 posted on 06/19/2002 10:47:25 AM PDT by ArrogantBustard
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To: Pern
al Qaida-type male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 & 40

Wasn't that Muslem extremists originally? Now we're even PC sanatizing conservative sarcasm so that we don't offend the religion of Satan... oops, I mean peace?
7 posted on 06/19/2002 11:39:17 AM PDT by Sword_of_Gideon
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To: Sword_of_Gideon
Wasn't that Muslem extremists originally?

Good catch, I missed that one.

8 posted on 06/19/2002 11:51:38 AM PDT by Pern
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To: Pern
It's still accurate. I just wonder when I see things like that if it's a deliberate attempt (not by you I'm assuming) by someone to distance Islam from the terrorists, rather than coming to terms with that fact that Islam encourages & supports terrorism.
9 posted on 06/19/2002 11:55:57 AM PDT by Sword_of_Gideon
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To: Pern
We can't stop terrorist. That'd violate their freedom of religon.< /sarcasm>
10 posted on 06/19/2002 11:58:44 AM PDT by Chad Bagwell
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To: ArrogantBustard
Thanks - don't know how I missed it.
11 posted on 06/19/2002 6:49:54 PM PDT by ez2muz
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To: Semper Paratus
How would most likely get searched by US airport security?

A) Innocent people not fitting the al Qaida-type male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 & 40 profile.

B) Innocent people not fitting the al Qaida-type male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 & 40 profile.

C) Innocent people not fitting the al Qaida-type male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 & 40 profile.

D) Innocent people not fitting the al Qaida-type male extremists mostly between the ages of 17 & 40 profile.


12 posted on 06/19/2002 9:15:37 PM PDT by KineticKitty
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To: ez2muz
It wasn't in there... I just wrote that. Hope you like it.
13 posted on 06/20/2002 5:27:45 AM PDT by ArrogantBustard
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To: ArrogantBustard
LOL. I understand.
I guess my screeen name should be SarcasticBustard.

Yes, I did like it... thanks.

14 posted on 06/20/2002 5:47:47 AM PDT by ez2muz
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