I Pledge a Legions (Evolution of the Pledge Of Allegiance)

Laissez Faire Electronic Times ^ | July 8, 2002 | P.J. Gladnick

[PJ-Comix]

Despite the outrage over the 9th Circuit Court ruling that saying the Pledge of Allegiance in schools is unconstitutional, a fringe benefit of the decision is that the Pledge is no longer taken for granted. Many students will now actually think about the Pledge rather than merely recite it automatically. Although the words of the Pledge have remained the same for nearly fifty years, the way students recite it changes as they progress through the school system. Here then is the Pledge, along with a typical student's thoughts, as it is recited over the school years.

KINDERGARTEN

I Plech Alley-Jams…
(Jams and jellies and Holloween candy. My tummy hurts!)
…To the Flag…
(I wanna plech on the floor, not the flag.)
…Of the New-Nighted Stakes of America…
(Hurry! Gotta go to the bathroom!)
…And to the Public four Witches Stands…
(Witches? Is this about Holloween?)
…One Nation, Under God, Invisible,
(God is invisible???)
With Liberdy and Just Is for All.
(All I wanna do is Plech!)

SECOND GRADE

I Pledge A Legions…
(I want recess!)
…To the Flag…
(Wanna play tag!)
Of the United Skates of America…
(Wanna go skating!)
…And to the Public four Witches Stands…
(Four witches stand? Why not five or even SIX?)
…One Nation, Under God, Invisible,
(What's invisible? God or a nation?)
With liberdy and Justice for All.
(How about recess for all?)

FOURTH GRADE

I Pledge Allegiance…
(Hee! Hee! I just put a thumbtack on Joey's chair.)
…To the Flag…
(Joey is gonna jump higher than the flag)
…Of the United States of America…
(His butt is gonna be united with a thumbtack.)
…And to the Republic four Witches Stands…
(He's standing now but when he sits…OUCH!)
…One Nation, Under God, Invisible,
(Oh God is he ever gonna scream!)
With Liberty and Justice for All.
(We're all gonna have a great laugh in one second.)

SIXTH GRADE

I Pledge Allegiance…
(My turn to pick the softball team today.)
…To the Flag…
(No wimps on my team.)
…And to the Republic four Widget Stands…
(Widgets? Is the Pledge about factories?)
…One Nation, Under God, Invisible,
(If the players were invisible we would win every game!)
With Liberty and Justice for All.
(All my team are gonna be the best!)

EIGHTH GRADE

I Pledge Allegiance…
(I hate the shower room!)
…To the Flag…
(Those towel fights hurt!)
…Of the United States of America…
(Makes me wanna be in another state in America)
…And to the Republic four Widgets Stands…
(I bet I could use a widget to give painful noogies.)
…One Nation, Under God, Indivisible,
(Indivisible? Math class is getting really hard.)
With Liberty and Justice for All.
(If there were justice, I wouldn't be flicked by towels.)

TENTH GRADE

I Pledge Allegiance…
(WOW! That new chick has a nice set of…)
…To the Flag…
(Uh-Oh! My flag pole is at full staff!)
…Of the United States of America…
(I would like to get united with her.)
And to the Republic for which it Stands…
(Oh, it's standing all right!)
…One Nation, Under God, Indivisible,
(Hope no one is looking at me.)
With Liberty and Justice for Balls.
(Down!)

TWELFTH GRADE

I Pledge Allegiance…
(Should I pledge a frat in college?)
…To the Flag…
(First I gotta cram for the exam.)
…Of the United States of America…
(What college in the America will take me if I flunk?)
…And to the Republic for which it Stands…
(Hard to read the cram sheet while standing.)
…One Nation, Under God, Indivisible,
(Oh God! Don't let me flunk!)
With Liberty and Justice for All.
(All I need is just one more hour to cram.)

[PJ-Comix]

Admit it. How many of you didn't know exactly what the Pledge Of Allegiance was all about in the early grades?

[PJ-Comix]

FYI

[PJ-Comix]

FYI

[Greybird]

... and I pledged allegiance
To the wa-ah-all
Oh, lord, I recall
In my little town
-- Paul Simon

[Jay W]

And the Star-Spangled Banner from grade school:

"Jose' can you see, by the donnzerly light...."

[summer]

bttt

[summer]

LOL...BTW, I have one to add to your list. I'll see it I can find it... :)

[Slip18]

This is so true. LAO!

[PJ-Comix]

The Pledge phrase that puzzled me for the longest time was "For Which It Stands." I kept having images of Witches for years and years. Most of the time in High School when saying the pledge I was cramming stuff into my head while reading from my cram sheet on the table. Remember, the main reason for Home Room class was to cram for exams that you didn't study for at home because you were wasting your time on other endeavors.

[PJ-Comix]

FYI