Study: 99.9999999% Unable to Make A Difference - Should Stop Trying

Humor Is Dead.com ^ | July 28 2002

[2Trievers]

Study: 99.9999999% Unable to Make A Difference - Should Stop Trying

Research shows that 99.9999999% of the world's population is simply unable to make a difference, let alone change the world, and should immediately stop trying. According to the researchers, a detailed analysis of human history reveals a startling trend of excess ineffectual and futile activity performed under false pretenses and misguided inspiration.

The 6 people in charge of the study, who also happen to be the .0000001% whose actions actually do make a difference, now have a legitimate argument that the rest of the population sit down, shut up, and bend over without bitching and moaning about it. Furthermore, all charities and senseless acts of goodwill should cease immediately, since they are useless.

The results come just as Congress is pushing for a ban on random acts of kindness, which have been cited as "a complete waste of time and energy." Under the new "You Cannot Make A Difference" laws, all hippies are subject to brutal beatings without due process, to be delivered by anyone who damn well feels like it - something the populace approves of unanimously. The Make A Difference Foundation will officially change it's name to the You're Wasting Your Time Council.

[2Trievers]

[DugwayDuke]

Why did you post this? Did it make a difference? More importantly, why am I replying?

[Mudboy Slim]

"Why did you post this?"

This is representative of the Effete Elite Mass Medyuh Whore'd that arrogates upon themselves the presumed understanding to run every aspect of our lives to their satisfaction. The rest of us just need to get a grip and do exactly as they say, it's fer our own good.

Lib'rals bite...MUD

[2Trievers]

I thought I could make a difference. Apparently I cannot. Since you replied first, maybe you would be willing to take up the banner and try to make a difference for me. I am a complete and total failure. My life is a waste. There is no point in existence. &;-)

[JediGirl]

LOL!

[Diogenesis]

This explains: The surrender-prone French.

[Valin]

I could be in love!....Or at least a strong case of like.

[ovrtaxt]

Wow, the beaches here in Florida have actual 'Liquid Water'.(TM) That beach sucks!

[Valin]

Resistance is futile!

Well someone had to say it.

[Prodigal Son]

That graphic is a keeper, thanks.

[Lonesome in Massachussets]

surrender-prone French

Dunno, they look supine to me.

[Tijeras_Slim]

I'm NOT as influential as Bono?
My day's looking up already.

[2Trievers]

I always like to see you *smile* TS &;-)

[philman_36]

Don't ya just love cynicism!

[martin_fierro]

I have to fight these feelings of ineffectualness every day.

And I fail! <|:)~

[muggs]

bump

[2Trievers]

"I have to fight these feelings of ineffectualness every day."

I believe there are the makings of a country song in there .................... somewhere. &;-)

[2Trievers]

... or a limerick! LOL &;-)

[leadpenny]

"Imagine Whirled Peas!" or somethin' like that.

[tacticalogic]

Well, I've tried but somehow I just can't seem to get interested in apathy.