EACH STUDENT WILL GET TO SPEND A DAY TESTIFYING BEFORE THE INDEPENDENT COUNSEL
Starting in January 2003, the University of Arkansas at Little Rock will be offering its first course on the Clinton presidency. The political-science course -- Clinton 100Y -- offered to graduate students only, is expected to be a prototype for the university's Clinton School of Public Service. According to Dr. Margaret E. Scranton, the chair of the university's political-science department, the course will be divided into six sections: "Creative Lying" (in both senses of the word), "Creative Use of the Verb 'to be,'" "Krispy Kremes, Jogging & Diet Coke," "Ineffectual Foreign Policy," "Thong Appreciation," and "Pathological and Dysfunctional Dependence on Public Approval & Public Affection."
As part of the course's "Ineffectual Foreign Policy" curriculum, students will learn how to allow a crazed and powerful terrorist leader to repeatedly get away with and continue his violent acts. They will also learn how to take all sides in seemingly unsolvable regional conflicts, such as the Middle East, the former Yugloslavia, Northern Ireland and most parts of Africa.
While studying the "Creative Lying" section of the course, students will benefit from a special interactive "multi-tasking" sub-section, in which each of them will have to simultaneously talk on the phone with a world leader about important matters, smoke a cigar, read a newspaper, sign a bill into law, and either perform a sexual act or have one performed on the student. When studying "Creative Use of the Verb 'to be'," students will be able to pass a rigorous practicum by weaselling themselves out of a series of lies and self-indulgences by claiming to not clearly understand the meaning of the word "is"..............