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Ten Good Reasons To Ban Guns
The Federal Observer ^ | 9/5/02 | Bruce Gold

Posted on 09/05/2002 7:49:16 AM PDT by jimkress

Gun Control - Simple Solutions for Simple Minds

Ten Good Reasons To Ban Guns - a satire by Bruce Gold

1.) Guns are used in self-defense over 2 million times a year. However, this makes the attempted crime a "non-event," which necessarily complicates the Police investigation. Without civilian ownership of guns, these Police investigations would not have been compromised. Civilians should leave crime prevention to the Police, who are properly equipped to investigate following the crime's completion.

2.) Some .004 % (4/1000 of 1%) of guns are used in crime each year. This is way too high. All guns should be banned.

3.) Guns are unnecessary. In 98% of civilian gun defenses, no shot is fired. If you are not going to fire a shot, you clearly don't need a gun. This proves that the guns are unnecessary. Banning guns will prevent these unnecessary defenses.

4.) Guns cause criminal migration. In tough gun-law Washington, D.C., violent crime rates are very high. This high crime rate is caused by the migration of criminals from gun havens like Virginia. This migration is caused by the criminal's cowardly avoidance of armed householders and concealed-carry civilians. This criminal migration is detrimental to helpless unarmed citizens in no-gun areas and must be stopped. Guns should be banned everywhere.

5.) Most gun crimes are committed by inner city gangs and drug dealers. These relatively small and geographically restricted groups consistently commit the majority of gun crimes, which usually peak as turf wars erupt over Drug War changes. The best way to prevent this is by denying guns to all law abiding people everywhere.

6.) No woman needs to protect herself from rape, assault or murder. The Police will protect women by investigating the crime after the fact. Remember, Police paperwork is all the protection anyone really needs.

7.) Guns owners are disrespectful of authority. Good citizens should completely rely on the authorities. A failure to do so is an invariable sign of improper and overly independent attitudes. Failure to completely and absolutely trust and depend on the authorities is excessive democracy and sends a bad message to children.

8.) Guns owners engaging in self-defense are taking the law into their own hands. This is wrong. Only the Police and Criminals have the right to take the law into their own hands. It should be kept out of the hands of citizens.

9.) Children and young people should remain ignorant about guns. Real guns and real gun knowledge dissipate the fantasies created by violent video games and TV. Ignorance, once lost, can never be restored and needs to be protected. Not to mention the lost sales of all the violent movies, TV shows, video games, etc!

10.)Guns reduce people's reliance on the Police and Government. This fosters a mistaken belief in "rights". No person has the right to question authority. No person should be less than 100% dependent on authority. This is fundamental to social order. Banning guns will help to establish the Order the authorities want. This is good.


TOPICS: Constitution/Conservatism; Crime/Corruption; Culture/Society; Government; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: banglist
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To: shaggy eel
,,, animal rights? I know from experience that issue sits well on a gun thread.

Is a "Puppy Policy" acceptable?

---

Flyer

41 posted on 09/05/2002 5:34:35 PM PDT by Flyer
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To: Flyer
,,, I've got a standard poodle and a shih-tsu, so dogs are exempted. My wife's cat and I get on OK, but I don't like patting him much because of the reason in post #40. The idea of cuddling a gun is appealing more and more by the month.
42 posted on 09/05/2002 5:37:52 PM PDT by shaggy eel
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To: humblegunner; jimkress
11.) Gun threads on FreeRepublic cause many to spend too much time at the computer and miss valuable time with the family. No guns=No gun threads=better families
43 posted on 09/05/2002 5:38:30 PM PDT by Flyer
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To: shaggy eel
The idea of cuddling a gun is appealing more and more by the month.

Guns don't scratch people, cats scratch people.

44 posted on 09/05/2002 5:40:37 PM PDT by Flyer
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To: LostTribe
These are probably the same people that have a hard time figuring out that there computer is unplugged when they get nothing but an empty screen.

Morever, what exactly do you mean by a jpg file pre-sized to full screen size? Full screen for who? You? What is your screen resolution set to? 800 x 600? 1024 x 768? 1280 x 1024? 1600 x 1200? Granted, there are plenty of apps out there that will allow you to zoom in an a given jpg. Speaking of which, infanview is my app of choice in this respect. ( http://www.irfanview.com/ )
45 posted on 09/05/2002 6:13:45 PM PDT by pseudogratix
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46 posted on 09/05/2002 6:15:01 PM PDT by Bob J
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To: pseudogratix
their computer that is
47 posted on 09/05/2002 6:15:09 PM PDT by pseudogratix
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To: pseudogratix
>These are probably the same people that have a hard time figuring out that there computer is
unplugged when they get nothing but an empty screen.

Hello!  This subject really doesn't matter at all to me.  I just made what I thought would be taken as a helpful suggestion. But it did not find even a friendly or sociable home.

"Customers" are "customers", be they for products or ideas.  If you don't want to maximize influence by catering to your customers, don't go into business for yourself.  Nerds don't understand that, and despite wanting to save the world they insist on doing it on their own terms, not the terms of the marketplace. Then they wonder why they fail, criticizing their customers instead of themselves.

>Morever,

Morover?  Moreover what???  Do you have an attitude problem or just not communicate well in English?

>what exactly do you mean by a jpg file pre-sized to full screen size?

Now you are talking like a nerd.  Everone knows that over 95% of all screens in the world today are set to 800 x 600.  Sure there are other screen settings (I have two large screen computers set to 1024 x 768 running beside me right now), but if you want to appeal to a market, you adapt to the standards and conventions of that market.

Every designer knows that the right hand 50 pixels are taken up with the vertical scroll bar, so the effective ordinary screen width is 750 pixels, not 800.  Therefore, when sizing an image for screen display (and not requireing the user to use the horizontal scroll bar to see all of it) you set it for 750 pixels wide.  If that file displays abnormally tall, you size it based on the vertical dimension instead of the horizontal. The idea is to have as large a display as possible without making the user tweak it.

Did that help you get over your bad attitude?
48 posted on 09/05/2002 7:56:04 PM PDT by LostTribe
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To: humblegunner; jimkress; Eaker; dix; Flyer; bobbyd; COB1; antivenom
"Ban those steenkin' guns!"

The only guns that should be allowed are brand new M1s from Springfield Armory, and only criminals should be allowed to buy them.

49 posted on 09/05/2002 8:51:39 PM PDT by COB1
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To: LostTribe
Everone knows that over 95% of all screens in the world today are set to 800 x 600.

Actually, over the past couple of years the standard has gone from 800x600 to 1024x768, at least in the wired world. That seems to be the case both in monitors, where the standard size of 17" made that resolution appear roughly equivalent to the 15" 800x600, and in digital projectors. A quick Google search for screen resolution statistics will confirm the preceding.

Now, like most web-developers, I'll design to an 800x600 screen size, but that's to fit a reasonable lowest common denominator of consumer, not to write to an overwhelmingly prevalent resolution.

Your point about serving the customer is valid. But with all due respect, when I read your "helpful suggestion" it felt like typical manager-speak: a supposedly easy solution that appears simple only because it's based on unrealistic or unsupported assumptions. I can't speak for pseudogratix, but perhaps you can see why such a suggestion might be... frustrating?

50 posted on 09/05/2002 8:58:16 PM PDT by Cyrano
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To: LostTribe
Now you are talking like a nerd.

Well, that would be because I am a nerd. :-)

Anyhow, thank you for giving me an attitude check. I realize that in time and in eternity it was hardly a thing worth commenting on, but the natural man in me simply refuses to go away.

51 posted on 09/05/2002 9:13:52 PM PDT by pseudogratix
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To: pseudogratix
>I realize that in time and in eternity it was hardly a thing worth commenting on

As were your uninvited comments, quite unnecessary...

52 posted on 09/05/2002 9:20:13 PM PDT by LostTribe
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To: Cyrano
>Actually, over the past couple of years the standard has gone from 800x600 to 1024x768, at least in the wired world.

If you were to do a survey of Freepers, which resolution do you think would be the favorite?

53 posted on 09/05/2002 9:23:41 PM PDT by LostTribe
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To: Terriergal
I have 3 reasons . The Constitution . trt.org . Teesdale.com . Thanks sunshine !
54 posted on 09/05/2002 9:31:39 PM PDT by Ben Bolt
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To: LostTribe
Again, I am so sorry. I must have let my pride get the better of me.
55 posted on 09/05/2002 9:32:33 PM PDT by pseudogratix
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To: pseudogratix
>Again, I am so sorry.

I frankly doubt that. Your posts seem to be merely excuses for posting links for the not very subtle purpose of promoting Mormonism. If nothing else, that demonstrates a lack of class.

56 posted on 09/05/2002 9:37:15 PM PDT by LostTribe
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To: LostTribe
Hey - even easier than sitting and writing a multi-paragraph diatribe about nerds and their lack of business acumen - why don't you take care of the poster situation yourself?

And what color would you like that database?

57 posted on 09/06/2002 4:08:37 AM PDT by Tennessee_Bob
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To: Terriergal
I want a larger, readable version of that one too!

If you are new to computers, you need to learn about Adobe Acrobat. Acrobat is used to read documents that have a .pdf extension. "PDF" stands for "portable document format." It allows you to publish elaborate documents, even books, in electronic format with typeset quality. Acrobat is free. By downloading and installing acrobat you have access to millions of high-quality documents. I have published the poster in PDF format for your convenience.

If you don't already have it installed on your computer, you can install Adobe Acrobat by clicking on the "Download Acrobat" icon I provided in my second post on this thread. After the program downloads, install it by clicking the "Open" button on the download dialog box. Follow the instructions. Once Acrobat is installed, click on the "Click here to download poster in PDF format" link. The poster will open up in Adobe. You can print it from there in high resolution.

58 posted on 09/06/2002 6:14:22 AM PDT by E. Pluribus Unum
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To: Terriergal
OH this is great!

ROFLMAO. Thanks for the morning laugh PING

59 posted on 09/06/2002 8:12:11 AM PDT by BOBTHENAILER
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To: LostTribe
If you were to do a survey of Freepers, which resolution do you think would be the favorite?

I don't know. If pressed, I'd guess that the spread for most-commonly used resolution would be like it is for most websites -- something along the lines below. (I say "commonly used" because that could conceivably differ from "favorite.")

The remainder would be split between 640x480, 1200x1600, and any resolutions that the newer Macs have (if different than the above; I don't recall what their supported resolutions are). IOW, I'd expect the plurality (likely the majority) to be using 1024x768, but anticipate a significant percentage to be using a lower resolution.

The actual "favorite" would be irrelevant, though. My point that actually bore on the discussion was that a legitimate spread existed. Further, that to satisfy your request for full-screen images, such a variety of resolutions in use would have to be taken into account. Would you continue to claim otherwise?

60 posted on 09/06/2002 7:24:53 PM PDT by Cyrano
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