Which Service is Best?

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[Ed_NYC]

Which Service is Best?

A soldier, a sailor, an airman, and a marine get into an argument about what armed force is the best. The argument gets so heated that they fail to see an on-coming truck. They are hit and killed instantly. When they arrive in heaven, they see Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates. So they decide he can settle their argument. They walk up and ask him, "Saint Peter, what Military Service is the best?" He thinks for a moment, then says, "Well, I'm afraid I can't tell you. But I'll tell you what. I'll talk to God next time I see Him, and I'll find out for you. In the mean time, welcome to heaven." So they enter. Later, they see Saint Peter while walking around, and they ask him about their question. But before Saint Peter can say anything, trumpets blare, a bright light shines, and a white dove flies out of the light with an envelope in it's beak. Saint Peter says, "Ah, here's the answer from the Boss." He takes the letter, and the dove flies off. He opens it, trumpets play, gold dust flies up, and Saint Peter reads aloud:

FROM THE DESK OF GOD

TO: SOLDIERS, SAILORS, AIRMEN, AND MARINES

RE: WHICH SERVICE IS BEST.

Dear Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen, and Marines, All branches of the United States Armed forces are truly honorable. One should take pride in serving with the Military. You are all well-trained men, all capable of pulling off your job exceedingly well. Therefore, there is no superior service.

Sincerely, God, USMC (Ret.)

[xNavspook]

Ed, I couldn't resist:
:)

An old Sailor and an old Marine were sitting at the VFW arguing about
who'd had the tougher career.

"I did 30 years in the Corps," the Marine declared proudly, "and fought
in three of my country's wars. Fresh out of boot camp I hit the beach
at Okinawa, clawed my way up the blood-soaked sand, and eventually took
out an entire enemy machine gun nest with a single grenade.

"As a sergeant, I fought in Korea alongside General MacArthur. We
pushed back the enemy inch by bloody inch all the way up to the Chinese
border, always under a barrage of artillery and small arms fire.

"Finally, as a gunny sergeant, I did three consecutive combat tours in
Vietnam. We humped through the mud and razorgrass for 14 hours a day,
plagued by rain and mosquitoes, ducking under sniper fire all day and
mortar fire all night. In a firefight, we'd fire until our arms ached
and our guns were empty, then we'd charge the enemy with bayonets!"

"Ah," said the Sailor with a dismissive wave of his hand, "all shore
duty, huh?"

[NoControllingLegalAuthority]

Now, you've gone and done it. Expect an all-out fistfight this morning. (Always good for exercise, though)

Why not waltz into a crowded cowboy bar and yell, "Which one of you sissies thinks he's tough?!"

[Tennessee_Bob]

The difference between the four branches of the military. When told to secure a building -

The Army will send in its special forces and rangers, surround the building, set up a security cordon and let no one out.

The Marines will send in Force Recon, invade the building, kill everyone, and let no one in.

The Navy will bombard the building for several hour before sending in the SEALs to secure the rubble and let no one in or out.

The Air Force will send in a real estate agent to negotiate a five year lease with an option to buy.

[dts32041]

I could tell the story about the Marine walking into a bar and asking "Which one of you is man enough to lick me", but I won't.

[MoJo2001]

All of our armed forces are definitely the best. I couldn't careless. Give them a target and they'll obliterate. God Bless our troops!

[Tennessee_Bob]

A four star Air Force general passes away, and finds himself in line at the Pearly Gates. He waits for what seems to be several hours, and just as he gets to Saint Peter, a grizzled old Air Force Chief Master Sergeant walks right past him, waves to Saint Peter, and walks right through the Gate, no questions asked.

The General is outraged that he had to wait and this chief just walked past. He turns to Saint Peter and asks "Just who does that chief think he is? God??"

Saint Peter replies, "No sir, that is God - sometimes He likes to pretend He's a Chief."

[PatrioticAmerican]

Three generals and an admiral were walking out of the Pentagon. The Army general says, "The Army has the best trained and fierce fighters of all time!" The Marine says, "Prove it!"

"All right", says the Army general. He points to an Army Sergeant First Class, and yells, “Sergeant! Climb that tree, and when you get to the top, JUMP!” The sergeant climbs the tree and jumps. No fear.

The Navy admiral, not to be outdone, yells to a SEAL standing near by, “Mister, climb that flag pole to the top, and the jump!” The SEAL does, and hit his noggin. Again, no fear.

The Marine, never liking to go last, yells to a Marine Private, “Marine! Climb that flag pole, and jump, SALUTING on the way down!” The private does, with great honor. No fear.

The Air Force general, now being last, musters the guts to tell an airman walking by, “Airman! Climb that build, an at the top, jump, saluting on the way down!” The airman replies, “Screw you!” and keeps walking.

The Air Force general remarks, “That, gentlemen, is guts.”

[PatrioticAmerican]

Three generals and an admiral were walking out of the Pentagon. The Army general says, "The Army has the best trained and fierce fighters of all time!" The Marine says, "Prove it!"

"All right", says the Army general. He points to an Army Sergeant First Class, and yells, “Sergeant! Climb that tree, and when you get to the top, JUMP!” The sergeant climbs the tree and jumps. No fear.

The Navy admiral, not to be outdone, yells to a SEAL standing near by, “Mister, climb that flag pole to the top, and then jump!” The SEAL does, and hit his noggin. Again, no fear.

The Marine, never liking to go last, yells to a Marine Private, “Marine! Climb that flag pole, and jump, SALUTING on the way down!” The private does, with great honor. No fear.

The Air Force general, now being last, musters the guts to tell an airman walking by, “Airman! Climb that building, and at the top, jump, saluting on the way down!” The airman replies, “Screw you!” and keeps walking.

The Air Force general remarks, “That, gentlemen, is guts.”

[shiva]

I'm gonna pretend I didn't read that!

[BlueLancer]

"The airman replies, “Screw you!” and keeps walking ..."

(...with his hands in his pockets.)

[LibKill]

I read this one in Reader's Digest 'Humor in Uniform' a few years back.

A MAC flight is delayed in Thule, Greenland, because the sewage truck is late.

A young airman shows up with the truck and proceeds to empty the sewage tanks. An Air Force colonel gets off the plane and reads him the riot act for delaying the flight.

The airman hears him out and then says, "Colonel, I have no stripes, I'm stuck in Thule, Greenland, it's 20 below zero and I'm pumping sewage out of your plane. What can you possibly do to make my life worse?"

"Nothing," says the colonel and boards his plane.

[CENTVRIO EQVITVM]

An old grunt dies and goes to Heaven. At the pearly gates he meets Saint Peter. "Hey glad to see you made it. We need Grunts up here and you deserve to be here."

The grunt smiles and is about to step into heaven the turns and asks, " St. Pete, you don't have any Cav up here do you? They picked on me my whole career. Throwing MREs and Coke cans at me as they drove by. I hate Cav"

" No way!" says Saint Peter . "There is no Cav here. They stay down at Fiddler's Green."

So the grunt steps into heaven again and sees a cloud with a stubby gun tube sticking out of it. All hell breaking loose, loud music, girls screaming, bottles breaking. "Hey that's Cav. You lied to me."

"No, no, no... that's the Mech Infantry."

"Ok." So he goes to step in again. Hears the same raucous from another cloud and sees a bigger gun tube. "That's CAV!!!!" he screams hysterically.

"Calm down that's artillery. They bailed you out when you were in trouble."

" Ya, dem guys are Ok."

So the grunt takes another step. An M1 Abrams comes screaming around a corner. The gunner hunched over his sights blasting sabot rounds; coax, LMG, and .50 cal tracers streaming every where. Artillery and mortar fire are blasting nearly overhead, where Apache's and Kiowas are weaving back and forth firing hellfire missiles and 2.75 inch rockets. Crossed sabers are painted on the side of the choppers. The Tank Commander has on a Stetson with gold braid and crossed sabers, a bottle of whisky in one hand and the other is clutching a gorgeous naked blonde while he fires the .50 cal with the toe of his muddy, dragoon boot. ""THAT'S THE CAV!!!!!" screams the Grunt.

"Naw," says Saint Peter. "That's GOD. He just likes to PRETEND He's CAV."

[tcostell]

OK ... this is sort of a military Joke:

A Russian General and an American General were seated next to each other at a diplomatic affair. They got to talking, then to drinking, and the conversation between the new allies got quite friendly.

"You know, comrade" said the Russian General "Our military is the best outfitted in the world, we even feed our troops in the field 1,000 calories per day".

The American General looked at him with a puzzled expression "But General" he said with genuine surprise "we feed our troops in the field over 3,000 calories per day"

With this the Russian General thought for a minute then began laughing hysterically, "You're very funny General, that's an excellent joke... but no-one can eat an entire sack of potatoes in one day!"

[Destructor]

The Army. Hands down!

[Delta 21]

HA!!!

All shore duty, indeed! I Love It!

[weikel]

Yes judging by the ROTC people I know at my school( a limited and non statistically valid sample) the Navy has the best officiers.

[PatrioticAmerican]

"(...with his hands in his pockets.)"

"Air Force Gloves"

[rdb3]

[CaptRon]

Bless you.