Posted on 09/27/2002 9:09:41 AM PDT by aculeus
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/chat/758084/posts
I wish the searches would scan all forums not just the one your in.
The opinion of an "expert" who thinks blonde is a "species" is worthless.
Thanks for the link. 8^)
yeah, dude....don't ever say I never did nothing for you. (love my Friday afternoon grammar?)
Ain't nuthing like that-there publik skool edjumacation!!
In July, 1997 a blonde from Wisconsin vacationed at a resort on Table Rock Lake near Branson, Missouri ....it was one of those hot summer days in the 90's, the air-conditioners were running in all of the resort cabins....A blonde came to the door of the owner's living quarters and said, "A fuse just blew in our cabin!"
The owner went to the cabin. The air-conditioner was on and in the bathroom was an electric space heater ....turned on to it maximum output!
The owner asked the blonde why she had the electric heater running while the air-conditioner was running....she told him she wanted to shave her legs and it was too cold in the room ....so she got the electric heater out of her car. (Wonder what happened to changing the thermostat on the air-conditioner?)
She said when she got cold she got goose bumps and she was afraid she would cut the heads off of the goose bumps when she shaved her legs.
Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette?
A: Artificial intelligence.
Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.
Q: Why is a blonde like a turtle?
A: They both get f*cked up when they're on their back.
Q: What do you call a blonde that can suck a golf ball through a garden hose?
A: Darling.
Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.
Q: Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?
A: It takes too long to retrain them.
Q: Why does the blonde stare at the juice packet in the morning?
A: It says "concentrate".
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a 747?
A: Not everybody has been in a 747.
Q: Why do blondes wear shoulder pads?
A: (With a rocking of the head from side to side) I dunno!
Q: How do you kill a blonde?
A: Put spikes in their shoulder pads.
Q: Why don't blondes eat Jello?
A: They can't figure out how to get two cups of water into those little packages.
Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earings?
A: They have to have some place to rest their ankles.
Q: Why do blondes wear green lipstick?
A: Because red means stop.
Q: Why do blondes wear red lipstick?
A: Because red means "Stop, wrong hole."
Q: Why do blondes wear underwear?
A: They make good ankle warmers.
Q: What's the mating call of the blonde?
A: "I'm *sooo* drunk!"
Q: What's the mating call of the brunette?
A: "All the blondes have gone home!"
Q: What's the mating call of the redhead?
A: "Next!"
Q: Why do Blondes like the GST? (Regional joke -- Goods and Services Tax now in effect in Canada)
A: Because they can spell it.
Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF on their shoes?
A: Toes go in first.
Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF on their shirts?
A: Tits (teats for all the purists) go in first.
Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
A: Her ankles.
Q: What do you say to a Blonde that won't give in?
A: "Have another beer."
Q: What do you call a brunette with a blonde on either side?
A: An interpreter.
Q: What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning? A1: Introduces herself. A2: Walks home.
Q: What's the first thing a blonde does after sex?
A: Opens the car door.
Q: What's the first thing a blonde says after having sex?
A: Oh, who were those guys?
Q: What does a blonde say when you blow in their ear?
A: "Thanks for the refill!"
Q: Why do blondes have more fun?
A: Because they don't know any better.
Q: How do you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's Tipp-Ex on the screen.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?
A: You only have to punch information into a computer once.
Q: What do a blonde and your computer have in common?
A: You don't know how much either of them mean to you until they go down on you.
Q: How does a blonde part their hair?
A: (Action of scissoring legs apart)
Q: What does a bleached blonde and a 747 have in common?
A: They both have a black box.
Q: Why do blondes like tilt steering?
A: More head room.
Q: Why don't blondes eat pickles?
A: Because they can't get their head in the jar.
Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
A: Because you wash vegetables there!
Q: Why did the blonde scale the glass wall?
A: To see what was on the other side.
A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park. The brunette says suddenly, "Awww, look at the dead birdie". The blonde stops, looks up, and says, "Where?"
A policeman pulled a blonde over after she'd been driving the wrong way on a one-way street.
Cop: Do you know where you were going?
Blonde: No, but wherever it is, it must be bad 'cause all the people were leaving.
Q: How do blondes pierce their ears?
A: They put tacks in their shoulder pads.
Q: How many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?
A: Five, one to make the batter and four to peel the smarties.
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
A: You can only get three fingers in a bowling ball.
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and "The Titanic"?
A: They know how many men went down on "The Titanic".
Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
A: She threw it off a cliff.
Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
A: Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.
Q: What do you say to a blonde with no arms and no legs?
A: "Nice tits!"
Q: How does a blonde high-5?
A: She smacks herself in the forehead.
Q: Why aren't there many blonde gymnasts?
A: Because when they do the splits, they stick to the floor.
Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up?
A: To catch as much as they can that is over their heads.
Q: How does a blonde interpret 6.9?
A: A 69 interrupted by a period.
Q: How do you brainwash a blonde?
A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down.
Q: What do you call 15 blondes in a circle?
A: A dope ring.
Q: Why did the blonde go half way to Norway and then turn around and come home?
A: It took her that long to discover that a 14 inch Viking was a television.
Q: What to do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back.
Q: How is a screen door and a blonde the same?
A: The more you bang it the looser it gets.
Q: How do you get a blonde to laugh on Saturday?
A: Tell her a joke on Thursday!
Q: What do blondes and beer bottles have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up .
Q: What's the advantage to being married to a blonde?
A: You can park in the handicapped zone.
Q: If a Blonde and a Brunette both jumped off a bulding at the same time, who would land first?
A: The Brunette.....the blonde would have to stop and ask directions.
Q: Two Blondes were walking along, and came to some tracks. One blonde said, "Those look like deer tracks," and the other said, "No, they look like Moose tracks."
A: They were still arguing when the train hit them.
Q: What did the blonde call her pet Zebra?
A: Spot.
Q: Why did the blonde die drinking milk?
A: Because the cow fell on her.
If for no other reason than to preserve the great tradition of blonde jokes!
whoa, you must have the slowest growing hair on earth, or you're dead. 4 months w/o a touch-up, really?
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