Posted on 10/02/2002 6:11:26 AM PDT by NYer
IDAHO FALLS, Idaho (AP) _ Theron McGriff's two young daughters sometimes draw pictures of their family: mom, dad _ and dad's partner. But the family picture has become clouded by a custody battle that has reached the Idaho Supreme Court from this heavily Mormon community. The case has gained national attention and will likely set the precedent for homosexual custody cases in Idaho.
The case centers around Theron McGriff's desire to live with the man he loves. His ex-wife, Shawn, believes their children shouldn't be allowed to visit their father if he lives with his gay lover, fearing backlash in the conservative town. ``I can't fault Shawn. I'm sure she's trying to do in her mind what's best for the kids,'' Theron McGriff said. ``But so am I. He enables me to be a better parent. His parents are my kids' grandparents. This is our family, and I can't imagine not fighting this ruling.''
The McGriffs, both Baptists, divorced five years ago and shared custody of their daughters equally, even though Shawn quickly came to believe that her ex-husband was homosexual. Living in the same eastern Idaho community, the girls, now 8 and 11, would spendTheron, 38. Shawn McGriff took no issue with her ex-husband's sexuality for three years _ until Theron McGriff and his partner began living together. The two men bought a home together this spring. Shawn McGriff then appealed to Bonneville County Magistrate Mark Riddoch for primary custody. Riddoch restricted Theron's visitations even more than his ex-wife requested, saying Theron could visit the children only if he did not live with his partner. He said the father ``has minimized this issue in regard to the conservative culture and mores in which the children live.''
Theron McGriff is asking the Supreme Court to overturn Riddoch's decision. After the ruling, Theron's 35-year-old partner moved into a travel trailer parked in the driveway so Theron could visit the girls. Now he is living with his parents.
Shawn McGriff has declined to discuss her case. Theron McGriff agreed to talk only if the names of his daughters and partner are not used. The case should be heard by the high court next year. ``The vast majority of states have made it clear that you can't make custody decisions based on sexual orientation,'' said Shannon Minter, Theron's attorney and legal director of the National Center for Lesbian Rights in San Francisco. ``Fortunately, this type of case is rare.''
In an August study, the Human Rights Campaign, a gay rights advocacy group, found 21 states and the District of Columbia have records of not discriminating in custody cases on the basis of sexual orientation. Nine states clearly discriminate, Deputy Director Lisa Bennett said, and the other 20, including Idaho, have mixed or unclear records. Countering his ex-wife's claims of insensitivity to the community values their daughters must live with, Theron McGriff described himself as a ``soccer dad'' whose sexual preference was known by only a few until the custody battle erupted. ``I'm a reluctant activist,'' he said. ``I didn't step out of the closet, I got pushed out.'' But he said he has received nothing but support. ``No matter if they're LDS (Mormon), Baptist or Catholic, I've had people say to me that I'm a good dad and this custody situation is wrong,'' McGriff said. ``They also say they may not support my choice _ and they always refer to my homosexuality as a choice _ but they say that shouldn't mean I don't get to raise my kids,'' he said.
But in her legal arguments, Shawn McGriff contends her ex-husband ``failed to deal with his homosexuality in a responsible and emotionally stable manner.'' She wanted him to get professional help to deal with his homosexuality and determine how to explain it to his daughters.
Now that his homosexuality is known, Theron McGriff for the first time has on his desk at work a picture of himself, his partner and his daughters. Still, the feeling is strange. ``As a gay person, the world thinks you should announce it,'' he said. ``I'm not in this to be a spokesperson or a poster child. But once you're a parent, that's your whole world.''
On the Net:
http://www.idahodad.org
AP-ES-10-02-02 0515EDT
Tacky!
The mom should get the kids and the dad should be shut out of their lives until he gets cured of his chosen mental disease
God Save America (Please)
Such editorializing! How does the reporter know what the man feels? It should be:
The case centers around Theron McGriff's desire to live with the man he says he "loves"
...or...
The case centers around Theron McGriff's desire to live with the man he sodomizes
Dan
Anyone know what the nine are? I'm planning some vacations for next year and I'd like to visit good places. ;)
Sorry, we have a direct feed from the AP Wire Service at work. The article does reference the following web site. That URL will take you to his personal story where he is trying to drum up support, via the internet.
http://www.idahodad.org
Characterizing a loathesome, destructive, almost (and correctly) universally-condemned perverse sexual practice as "love" is problematic. I'd say the editorializing intent was fairly clear. There were wasy to be more colorlessly factual, as I illustrated. If you do not understand the wasting immorality of the practice, then why would you object to accurate descriptions?
Perhaps you should reserve posting for when you have time to think first.
Dan
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