Aviation Humor

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[RLK]

If you're faced with a forced landing, fly the thing as far into the crash as possible. (Bob Hoover - renowned aerobatic and test pilot)

---------------

I saw Hoover perform 35 years ago at DuPage Airport, alongg with Bob Klein and some others. Klein apparently seldom look out of the cockpit during acrobatics. He had a diagram of the alltimiter readings etc. of the moves taped to the panel that he used.

[Arkie2]

What's the most useless thing on a woman? A fighter pilot.

What do you call a fighter pilot with an IQ of 160? A four ship.

If a good landing is one you can walk away from an outstanding landing is one where you can use the equipment again.

[Feckless]

"Nothing we do in peacetime justifies getting a C141 dirty" - Every loadmaster I've ever met.

IFR - I follow roads.

[Sam Cree]

There are more planes in the ocean than there are submarines in the sky.

I know that one's true. I ran a skiff all around Chub Cay, there's airplanes in the water (under water) all over the place. Most of them crashed drug planes.

[Polybius]

An old Norwegian fighter pilot was invited to speak at an English woman's club luncheon about his flying experiences during WWII.

"Und dere I vas at 4,000 ft... a Fokker in front of me, a Fokker in back of me, a Fokker above me!"

At this point, some of the ladies became nervous about his language. The chairperson lady then said, "Please don't be alarmed, Ladies. A Fokker is a type of German airplane... isn't that right, Mr.Olsen?"

"Yah, yah, dat is right, but these Fokkers vas flyin' Messerschmitts!"

[Texas Eagle]

A U2 pilot friend of mine told me this one:

Q: How do you know there's a pilot in the room?

A: He'll tell you.

[Gamecock]

"Yah, yah, dat is right, but these Fokkers vas flyin' Messerschmitts!"

Now that is a funny joke....

[Sam Cree]

Haven't given much thought to South Carolina in the past. I just spent a weekend in Charleston. What a beautiful city, I have a new respect for South Carolina.

[Gamecock]

Haven't given much thought to South Carolina in the past. I just spent a weekend in Charleston. What a beautiful city, I have a new respect for South Carolina.

Why thank you! I have traveled all over the world and Charleston is my favorite city. Now if they would just do something about Fritz "Foghorn Leghorn" Hollings...

[alfa6]

Also rivers and railroads.

Regards

alfa6 ;>}

[dalereed]

"If you're faced with a forced landing, fly the thing as far into the crash as possible."

I'm alive today because I did just that.

Panic kills!!!!

[dalereed]

"If a good landing is one you can walk away from an outstanding landing is one where you can use the equipment again"

I made thousands of outstanding landings but I did make one good one!

[hole_n_one]

LOL!

[AdA$tra]

I saw Hoover perform 35 years ago at DuPage Airport.....

I think hoover could dead stick land a rock.

[Arkie2]

Good Luck Mr. Gorsky
When Apollo Mission Astronaut Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon, he not only gave his famous "one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind" statement but followed it by several remarks, usual com traffic between him, the other astronauts and Mission Control.

Just before he re-entered the lander, however, he made the enigmatic remark "Good luck Mr. Gorsky."

Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning some rival Soviet Cosmonaut. However, upon checking, there was no Gorsky in either the Russian or American space programs. Over the years many people questioned Armstrong as to what the "Good luck Mr. Gorsky" statement meant, but Armstrong always just smiled.

On July 5, 1995 (in Tampa Bay FL) while answering questions following a speech, a reporter brought up the 26 year old question to Armstrong. This time he finally responded. Mr. Gorsky had finally died and so Neil Armstrong felt he could answer the question.

When he was a kid, he was playing baseball with a friend in the backyard. His friend hit a fly ball which landed in the front of his neighbor's bedroom windows. His neighbors were Mr. & Mrs. Gorsky. As he leaned down to pick up the ball, young Armstrong heard Mrs. Gorsky shouting at Mr. Gorsky, "Oral sex! You want oral sex?! You'll get oral sex when the kid next door walks on the moon!"

[Arkie2]

I haven't made a "good one" yet. I've got a few years to go before I retire and I hope they're all outstanding! (knock on wood)

[Criminal Number 18F]

Another Hooverism is "keep flying the plane until all the pieces are done crashing." He actually did that once when a line boy put JP4 in his Shrike (the first one, that didn't make it to the Smithsonian).

He and his pax walked away. But classic Hoov was that he went back to the FBO that fueled him, and when he heard the kid had already been fired, insisted that the FBO give him another chance. "I want that same kid to fuel my Mustang for the show tomorrow."

Class act, but Hoover denies it was altruism. He says that under the circumstances, he figured the line boy would take extra care. Since the show came off OK, I guess he was right. I wonder where that line boy is now?

bootless and SBeck, pinged you to a flyin' thread. I figured you wouldn't mind.

Anybody going to AOPA?

d.o.l.

Criminal Number 18F

[operation clinton cleanup]

Try to stay in the middle of the air. Do not go near the edges of it. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly there.

Thank God my car does not have wings....