Aviation Humor

[Ramius]

Ping in case you haven't seen this...

[tutstar]

bump

[fnord]

Came across this story a while back ...

This is the actual first-person account of a U.S. Forest Service employee who was a passenger in a Hiller 12E helicopter when the collective control linkage became disconnected at the rotor hub and the aircraft started an uncontrollable climb. The passenger climbed out of the airborne helo, managed to reconnect the linkage using the awl of a Leatherman Tool, and held the makeshift repair in place until the chopper could land safety. Incredible but true!

Not funny, but pretty amazing.

[DuncanWaring]

Better to be on the ground wishing you were in the air than in the air wishing you were on the ground.

[HairOfTheDog]

I hadn't seen it! Thanks for the ping!

Mr. Wrightism:
"Push the stick forward... trees get bigger
Pull the stick back... trees get smaller
Pull the stick back too far... trees get bigger again."

[Ramius]

Yahderhey... some good ones that I hadn't seen before.

The only thing in the world more arrogant than a Naval aviator is a Coast Guard Helicopter pilot. Screwball bunch, those. I remember one that had a thing for chasing eagles around the fjords in Alaska. Total nutball.

I was in an H65A Dolphin with him once. Ordinary flight up to the point where he yells "EAGLE!!" into the david clarks. Immediately begins a nasty upside-down sort of rolling maneuver to get on the six of an otherwise harmless and majestic symbol of America. Poor bastard eagle never had to dogfight a helo before, decided to head for the hard deck and lose the big bad red bird in the tree tops. Didn't work. Pilot was plain crazy. Chased that bird all the way up the fjord, dodging trees and rocks all the way at something less than rotor-width distance from either. My favorite part of any flight with that guy was the landing.

[bootless]

Those are funny! Only a few I've heard before - thanks for the laugh!

[bootless]

Thanks for the ping! Not planning to go to AOPA, even if it is down in Palm Springs. I went to PSP in 1994, where I got to pool-test some survival rafts. 90+ minutes in a heated pool, and the uncontrollable shivering I experienced afterwards, really made me respect - and fear - hypothermia!

This is the first aviation joke thread where I didn't know more than 50% of the jokes ... a plus!

[bootless]

ping!

[bootless]

Nothin to it dad, you only have to remember two things, push the yoke forward, the houses get bigger, pull it back, the houses get smaller."

And keep pulling the yoke back, and the houses get bigger again. :-)

[HairOfTheDog]

Heh!

I think that falls into the category of "Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver than you!"

[LiteKeeper]

read tomorrow

[alfa6]

It's tomorrow now...thanks and Bump for the morning crowd

TS, have a few laughs this AM

regards

alfa6 ;>}

[TroutStalker]

Terrific! I needed some humor, thanks.

[Poohbah]

Frontier Airlines arrival at Reagan National, 9/10/01: after a VERY hard landing, the flight attendant came up on the intercom and said, "Now let's get this straight, folks. That wasn't the pilot's fault, that wasn't the copilot's fault, it wasn't the maintenance crew's fault, and it wasn't the airplane's fault. That, ladies and gentlemen, was the asphalt."

Actual gripes and responses I saw over the years:

"IFF does not work."
"System normally does not work with switch in O-F-F position."

"Static on radio at altitude."
"Could not duplicate on ground."

"Dead bugs on windshield."
"Live bugs on order from supply."

"Aircraft made unusual noise in (deleted) G turn at 540 KIAS."
"Sound traced to partial failure of main wing spar due to extreme over-G condition. Thank God the engineers at MacAir knew some pilot would be crazy enough to try this."

[snopercod]

Thanks. Great thread.

[Brian Allen]

<< "Yah, yah, dat is right, but these Fokkers vas flyin' Messerschmitts!"

Now that is a funny joke. >>

Yep.

HehHehHeh ....

Was in 1914, too.

When it first made the rounds of every RFC Officers' Mess.

[Brian Allen]

<< "If you're faced with a forced landing, fly the thing as far into the crash as possible."

I'm alive today because I did just that. >>

Only once?

Piker!

HehHehHeh

[Brian Allen]

<< Pinging you for some laughs. How's everything? >>

Pretty good, thanks. Son thing we talked about is a bit sad, still and am still an average 9,500 miles FRom home on a good day -- but am on my last overseas deal and home for good by the middle of next year.

And: Man! Am I looking forward to that!

How's it with you?

Warm FReegards -- Brian

[MickMan51]

I actually landed a LearJet on a carrier deck in MS Flight Simulator. Of course, I had to drown 100 LearJets getting it right.

Hey, that's my trick ! ! (Ain't it great ??) But first you have buzz Alcatraz and fly it under the Golden Gate Bridge. LOL