LAUGH BREAK Top 20 Most Used Engineering Terms

[tacticalogic]

Q. What's the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?

A. Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets.

[fjsva]

I sent out a memo on a late (very) project with....

In the course of every project there comes a time to shoot the engineers and start production.

[Lonesome in Massachussets]

REFLECTIVE OPTICS
It's all done with mirrors.

[S.O.S121.500]

Q: What do engineers use for contraception?

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A: Their personalities.

[Glutton]

Index bump.

[rockfish59]

'Damned EBAY'

[rockfish59]

DOH!

[JZdiablo]

FUBAR (term used to diagnose faulty equipment)

[_Jim]

BIFF

Big Improvements For Free (Pat Betick, if you're out there reading this, this one's for you!)

DWEEB

manager, stuffed shirt, marketing type, anyone in a suit ...

[Joe 6-pack]

"...and then there's LUP.....Let us Pray......"

Don't forget the military SWAG, as in, "I can't give you an exact count of enemy in the town, sir, but if I had to make a SWAG..."

(Scientific, Wild-Assed Guess)

Note that the quality of a SWAG is judged by it's deviation from reality.

[tacticalogic]

Engineers & Programmers on a Train

On a train to a large computer convention there were a bunch of computer programmers and a bunch of computer engineers. Each of the programmers had a train ticket. The group of engineers had only ONE ticket for all of them. The programmers started laughing, figuring the engineers were going to get caught and thrown off the train.

When one of the engineers, the lookout, said "here comes the conductor", all of the engineers went into the bathroom. The programmers were puzzled.

The conductor came aboard, said "tickets please" and got tickets from all the computer programmers. He then went to the bathroom and knocked on the door and said "ticket please". The engineers stuck the ticket under the door. The conductor took it and moved on. A few minutes later the engineers came out of the bathroom. The computer programmers felt really stupid.

On the way back from the convention, the group of programmers decided that they would try that method, too. They bought one ticket for the whole group. They met up with the engineers in the same car.

Again, the programmers started snickering at the engineers. This time NONE of the engineers had tickets. When the lookout said "Conductor coming!", all the engineers went to one bathroom and all the computer programmers went to the other bathroom.

Before the conductor came on board, one of the engineers left their bathroom, knocked on the programmers bathroom, and said "ticket please."

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[Delta 21]

......Also "Tango Uniform" (T!ts Up) or "Bravo Siera" (my favorite - -Breasts Skyward)