USO Canteen FReeper Style ~ Military Jokes & Humor ~ November 18 2002

Here's an oldie but goodie from the FR archives...

101 Sea Stories and Some Assorted BS from al ye Scoundrels Who Ought to be Keelhauled, Part III

MONACO, FREE TED MAHER NOW!!!!!!!

Mornin', everybody !!

Have a cup while you FReep !

For those who prefer hot chocolate.....

As an ex gator sailor I heard a few about marines.

MARINE = My Ass Rides In Navy Equipment.

What's the only word in the English language that can be made from the letters USMC?

SCUM.

All in fun of course. I have great respect for the naval infantry.

I told these to a Marine, he replied, "Sure, the Marines are a department of the Navy. The MENS department!"

heh heh !!.....

Good Morning, Tonk.

I want to thank the Troops for their efforts on behalf of our Nation. And a Special Thanx to the Vets who have done their time and are here at home cheering the Troops on. I stand in awe of All of you.

And a Granny Hug to Tonk for all his effort to maintain this thread!

Today's classic warship, USS Maine (ACR-1)

Maine class armored cruiser
Displacement. 6,682<
Lenght. 319'
Beam. 57'
Draft. 21' 6"
Complement. 374
Speed. 17 k.
Armament. 4 10", 6 6", 7 6-pdrs., 8 1-pdrs., 4 14" tt.
Authorized 1886
Laid down 1888
Commissioned 1895

The USS Maine was designed and laid down as an armored cruiser. Her construction was delayed by a fire in the drafting room of the New York Navy Yard and also by the late delivery of her armor. By the time she was ready, the concept of the armored cruiser had moved beyond her. Too slow and heavily armored to be considered a cruiser, she was later redesignated a second-class battleship.

The USS Maine, was laid down at New York Navy Yard 17 October 1888; launched 18 November 1889, sponsored by Miss Alice Tracy Wilmerding, granddaughter of Secretary of the Navy Benjamin Tracy; and commissioned 17 September 1895, Capt. Arent S. Crowninshield in command.

Maine departed New York Navy Yard 5 November 1895 for Newport, R.I., via Gardiner's Bay, N.Y., to fit out 16 to 23 November, and then proceeded on the 25th to Portland, Maine, to visit her namesake. The battlewagon then put to sea on the 29th on trials and inspection, being assigned to the North Atlantic Squadron 16 December, and sailing via Newport to Tompkinsville, N.Y., arriving 23 December. The ship sailed the next day for Fort Monroe, Va., arriving on Christmas Day. She operated out of that place and Newport News through June 1898 and then on the 4th sailed for Key West on a 2-month training cruise, returning to Norfolk 3 August. Maine continued extensive east coast operations until late 1897. Then the ship prepared for a voyage to Havana, Cuba, to show the flag and to protect American citizens in event of violence in the Spanish struggle with the revolutionary forces in Cuba.

On 11 December Maine stood out of Hampton Roads bound for Key West, arriving on the 15th. She was joined there by ships of the North Atlantic Squadron on maneuvers, then left Key West 24 January 1898 for Havana.

Arriving 25 January, Maine anchored in the center of the port, remained on vigilant watch, allowed no liberty, and took extra precautions against sabotage. Shortly after 2140, 15 February, the battleship was torn apart by a tremendous explosion that shattered the entire forward part of the ship. Out of 350 officers and men on board that night (4 officers were ashore), 252 were dead or missing. Eight more were to die in Havana hospitals during the next few days. The survivors of the disaster were taken on board Ward Line steamer City of Washington and Spanish cruiser Alfonso XII. The Spanish officials at Havana showed every attention to the survivors of the disaster and great respect for those killed. The court of inquiry convened in March was unable to obtain evidence associating the destruction of the battleship with any person or persons, but public opinion in the United States was so inflamed that the Maine disaster led eventually to the declaration of war on Spain 21 April.

On 5 August 1910, Congress authorized the raising of Maine and directed Army engineers to supervise the work. A second board of inquiry appointed to inspect the wreck after it was raised reported that injuries to the ship's bottom were caused by an external explosion of low magnitude that set off the forward magazine, completing destruction of the ship. It was never determined who placed the explosive, and the responsibility for the sinking of Maine remains one of the continuing enigmas of American history. (Some now think that the explosion was caused by spontaneous combustion in a coal bunker.)

Maine's hulk was finally floated 2 February 1912 and towed out to sea where it was sunk in deep water in the Gulf of Mexico with appropriate ceremony and military honors 16 March.

Are risque jokes allowed?

A marine biologist developed a species of genetically engineered dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day his supply of the birds ran out, so he had to go out and trap some more.

On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly stepped over them. Immediately, he was arrested and charged with transporting gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises.

Thanks I needed to know what time it is. LOL

Our son, who's in the Army stationed in Georgia, invited my husband and me
for a visit.

After driving endlessly through unfamiliar streets in search of an entrance
to Fort Stewart, my husband suddenly said, "We're getting closer."

"How do you know?" I asked.

He pointed to a sign that read,

"Sonny's Bar-B-Q--Tank Parking Available."

CO-PILOT PLUNGES FROM SMALL PLANE 9,000
FEET OVER TEXAS; PILOT LANDS SAFELY

HOUSTON (AP) - The co-pilot of a single-engine aircraft plunged from the plane as it made a steep turn 9,000 feet over the Houston area. The 45-year-old Houston man apparently jumped or fell from the plane Sunday afternoon near Prairie View, about 20 miles northwest of Houston, federal and local authorities told the Houston Chronicle for Monday editions. An instructor pilot, the only other person on board, was concentrating on a steep turning maneuver when he heard a thump and saw the co-pilot's feet and legs leaving the airplane, Waller County Sheriff's Lt. John Kremmer told the Chronicle.

Kremmer said a search for the pilot in the area's pastures, woods and lakes was expected to resume early Monday. Officials said the Cessna 152 had taken off 45 minutes earlier from David Wayne Hooks Airport in Spring. The pilot notified authorities about the incident before returning to the airport. "The instructor and the aircraft landed safely," said Roland Herwig, spokesman for the Federal Aviation Administration. Kremmer said the co-pilot - whose identity was being withheld pending notification of relatives - had a pilot's license but could not fly alone because of an unspecified medical condition.

The instructor pilot told investigators that both men were strapped in when the small trainer aircraft took off from the airport. "He just doesn't know at what point that changed," Kremmer said. Kremmer said there was no indication the man had a parachute.

From the men in the military and in the Canteen.

"Are risque jokes allowed?"

I think the best thing to keep in mind is that people of all ages visit the Canteen daily.

This day in History

Birthdates which occurred on November 18:
1789 Louis-Jacques-Mande Daguerre developed a method of photography
1810 Asa Gray Sauquoit NY, botanist (Flora of North America)
1832 Nils Adolf Erik Nordenskjold Sweden, Arctic explorer
1836 Maximo Gomez Banff, general (Cuba)
1836 William Schwenck Gilbert London, composer (Gilbert & Sullivan)
1869 James E Sullivan founder (Amateur Athletic Union)
1874 Clarence Shepard Day NYC, writer (Life with Father)
1881 Percy Lesueur hockey player/inventor (large goalie glove)
1882 Jacques Maritain France, Catholic philosopher (exponent of St Thomas)
1882 Wyndham Lewis English writer/painter (Tarr, Apes of God)
1889 Amelita Galli-Curci Italy, operatic soprano (Cave of the Winds)
1897 Jules Buffano St Louis MO, pianist (Jimmy Durante Show)
1898 Joris Ivens Nijmegen Netherlands, director (Rain)
1899 Eugene Ormandy (Blau) Budapest, Hungary, conductor (Philadelphia Orchestra)
19-- Herman Rarebell rock drummer (Scorpions-Wind of Change)
1900 Constantin Alajalov Russia, artist (Ditters & Jitters)
1900 Howard Thurman theologian/author (Deep River, Deep in the Hunger)
1901 George Gallup Jefferson Iowa, public opinion pollster (Gallup Poll)
1908 Imogene Coca Philadelphia PA, comedienne (Your Show of Shows, Grindl)
1909 Johnny Mercer Savannah GA, lyricist (Moon River, That Old Black Magic)
1912 Arthur Peterson Mandan ND, actor (Major-Soap, Crisis)
1919 Jocelyn Brando San Francisco, actress (Ugly American)
1921 Peter Pocklington NHL team owner (Edmonton Oilers)
1922 Marjorie Gestring US, springboard diver (Olympic-gold-1936)
1923 Alan B Shepard Jr East Derry NH, Rear Adm USN/astro (Merc 3, Ap 14)
1923 Ted Stevens (Sen-R-Alaska)
1926 Dorothy Collins Windsor Ontario, singer (Your Hit Parade)
1928 Mickey Mouse cartoon strip
1929 William (Pete) Knight X-15 pilot
1930 Sonja Ruthstrom Swed, cross country relay skier (Olympic-gold-1960)
1936 Hank Ballard Detroit, rocker (The Twist (pre Chubby Checker))
1938 Karl Schranz Austria, slalom (Olympic-1968)
1939 Brenda Vaccaro Brooklyn NY, actress (Cactus Flower, Sara, Paper Dolls)
1941 David Hemmings England, actor (Blow-up, Barbarella)
1942 Jeffrey Siegel Chicago IL, pianist (Chicago Symphony)
1942 Linda Evans Hartford, actress (Dynasty, Big Valley, Beach Blanket Bingo)
1943 Susan Sullivan NYC, actress (Having Babies, Falcon Crest)
1945 Glen Walken Astoria Queens, actor (Leave it to Larry)
1947 Jameson Parker Baltimore MD, actor (American Justice, Simon & Simon)
1948 Andrea Marcovicci NYC, actress (Gloria-Berrengers, Fran-Trapper John)
1948 Jack Tatum Cherryville NC, NFL defensive back (Raiders)
1949 Ted Sator Utica NY, NHL coach (NY Rangers, Buffalo Sabres)
1950 Elizabeth Perkins actress (About Last Night, Big)
1950 Graham Parker musician (Live Sparks, Mercury Poisoning)
1951 Mark N Brown Valparaiso In, Major USAF/astronaut (STS 28, STS 48)
1956 Tony Franklin NFL kicker (Philadelphia Eagles, New England Patriots)
1957 Jenny Burton NYC, rocker (Nobody Loves Me Like You Do)
1960 Kim Wilde England, rocker (You Keep Me Hanging On)
1961 Janice Lynn Kuehnemund St Paul MN, rocker (Vixen-Rev It Up)
1962 Kirk Hammett rock guitarist (Metallica-Helpless)
1966 Gwendolyn Hajek Shreveport La, playmate (September, 1987)
1969 Cheryl Bachman Jacksonville FL, playmate (October, 1991)
1973 Steve Christopher Petree Oklahoma, rocker (PC Quest-Can You See)

Deaths which occurred on November 18:

1886 Chester A Arthur (21st President), dies in NY at 56
1946 Donald Meek Glasgow Scotland, actor (Stage Fair, Stagecoach)
1962 Niels Bohr physicist who won the Nobel Prize in 1922, dies at 77
1969 Joseph P Kennedy dies in Hyannis Port, Massachusetts, at 81
1970 Hal Dickinson singer (Modernaires), dies at 56
1978 Leo J Ryan (Rep-Cal) & 4 killed in Jonestown, Guyana by members of Peoples Temple, followed by ritual mass suicide of 912 member
1982 Donald Dillaway actor, dies at 78

On this day...
1307 William Tell shoots apple off his son's head
1421 Zuider Zee floods 72 villages, killing an estimated 10,000 in Netherlands
1497 Bartolomeu Dias discovers Cape of Good Hope
1755 Worst quake Massachusetts Bay area strikes Boston; no deaths report
1776 Hessians capture Fort Lee, NJ
1787 1st Unitarian minister in US ordained, Boston
1803 Battle of Vertieres, in which Haitians defeat French
1805 30 women meet at Mrs Silas Lee's home in Wiscasset, Maine, organizes Female Charitable Society, the first woman's club in America
1820 US Navy Captain Nathaniel B Palmer discovers Antarctica
1865 Mark Twain publishes "Celebrated Jumping Frog of Calaveras County"
1874 National Woman's Christian Temperance Union organizes in Cleveland
1883 Standard time zones established by railroads in US & Canada
1889 Oahu Railway begins public service in Hawaii
1894 1st newspaper Sunday color comic section published (NY World)
1903 Hay-Bunau-Varilla Treaty gives US exclusive canal rights in Panama
1905 Prince Carl of Denmark becomes King Haakon VII of Norway
1909 US invades Nicaragua, later overthrows President Zelaya
1911 Britain's 1st seaplane flies
1911 The opera "Lobetanz" 1st American performance
1912 Albania declares independence from Turkey
1913 Lincoln Deachey performs 1st airplane loop-the-loop (San Diego)
1918 Latvia declares independence from Russia
1926 Pope Pius XI encyclical On the persecution of the Church in Mexico
1928 Walt Disney's Mickey Mouse debuts in NY in "Steamboat Willie"
1929 Large quake in Atlantic breaks Transatlantic cable in 28 places
1932 "Flowers & Trees" receives 1st Academy Award for a cartoon
1936 Germany & Italy recognized Spanish government of Francisco Franco
1936 Main span of Golden Gate Bridge joined
1940 George Matesky Mad Bomber's first time bomb
1943 1st US ambassador to Canada, Ray Atherton, nominated
1949 Jackie Robinson, Brooklyn Dodgers, named NL's MVP
1951 "See it Now" premieres on TV
1954 Yanks trade Woodling, Byrd, McDonald, Triandos, Miranada & Smith to Orioles for Turley, Larsen & Hunter as part of an 18 player deal
1955 Bell X-2 rocket plane taken up for 1st powered flight
1958 1st true reservoir in Jerusalem opens
1960 Copyright office issues its 10 millionth registration
1961 US Ranger 2 launched to Moon; failed
1964 J Edgar Hoover describes Martin Luther King as "most notorious liar"
1966 US RC bishops did away with rule against eating meat on Fridays
1967 British government devalues œ from US equivalent of $2.80 to $2.40
1970 Russia lands self propelled rover on the Moon
1975 Calvin Murphy (Houston) ends NBA free throw streak 58 games
1976 Spain's parliament establishes democracy after 37 years of dictatorship
1976 Yanks sign free agent Don Gullett
1980 "Heaven's Gate" premiers
1984 Devils shutout Rangers 6-0
1984 Flyers' Ron Sutter fails on 11th penalty shot against Islanders
1985 Enterprise (OV-101) flies from Kennedy Space Center to Dulles Airport Washington, DC, & turned over to the Smithsonian Institution
1985 Paul McCartney releases "Spies Like Us"
1987 31 die in a fire at King's Cross, London's busiest subway station
1990 NFL NY Giants beat Det Lions 20-0, to run 1990 record to 10-0
1990 Saddam offers to free an estimated 2,000 men held in Kuwait
1991 France deports Marlon's daughter Cheyenne Brando to Tahiti
1991 Muslim Shites release hostages Terry Waite & Thomas Sutherland

Holidays
Note: Some Holidays are only applicable on a given "day of the week"

Albania Independence Day 1912 :
Haiti : Army Day
YWCA : World Fellowship Day
US : National Children's Book Week Begins - - - - - ( Monday )
Morocco : Independence Day
Oman : National Day

Religious Observances
RC : Mem of Dedication of Basilicas of Peter & Paul, Rome (opt)
Ang : Feast of Hilda, Abbess of Whitby

Religious History
1095 Pope Urban II opened the Council of Clermont. Summoned to plan the First Crusade, it was attended by over 200 bishops. Among its official policies, the Council decreed that a pilgrimage to Jerusalem made every other penance superfluous.
1302 Pope Boniface VIII published the bull "Unam Sanctam." It was the first papal writing to decree that spiritual power took precedent over temporal power, and that subjection to the pope was necessary to salvation.
1626 In Rome, the newly completed St Peter's Basilica was consecrated by Urban VIII. St. Peter's is presently the largest church in Christendom, with a length of 619 feet.
1866 English devotional writer Katherine Hankey, 32, penned the verses that we sing today as the hymn, "I Love to Tell the Story."
1966 This was the last required meatless Friday for American Roman Catholics, in accordance with a decree made by Pope Paul VI earlier this year.

Thought for the day :
" If we were intended to talk more than we hear, we'd have two mouths and only one ear. "

Today's transportation for you and the Girlz.

Then and Now: Military Service Compared, World War II and Today.

1945- Rifles were made of wood and steel, shot a .30 caliber bullet that killed the enemy.
Now- Rifles are made of plastic and aluminum, shoot a .22 caliber bullet that wounds the enemy.

1945- The winning side used a US made .45 Caliber pistol, the losers a European 9mm.
Now- We use a European 9mm pistol. Nobody uses the .45.

1945- If you smoked, you had an ashtray on your desk.
Now- If you smoke, you are sent outside and are treated like a leper.

1945- If you said "damn," people knew you were annoyed and avoided you.
Now- If you say "damn" you better be talking about a hydroelectric plant.

1945- NCO's had a typewriter on their desks for doing daily reports.
Now- Everyone has an Internet computer, and they wonder why no work is getting done.

1945- We painted pictures of pretty girls on airplanes to remind us of home
Now- We put the real thing in the cockpit.

1945- Your girlfriend was at home, praying you would return alive.
Now- She is in the same foxhole, praying your condom worked.

1945- If you got drunk off duty, your buddies would take you back to the barracks to sleep it off.
Now- If you get drunk any time they slap you in rehab and ruin your whole career.

1945- You were taught to aim at your enemy and shoot him.
Now- You spray 500 bullets into the brush, don't hit anything, and retreat because you are out of ammo.

1945- Canteens were made out of steel. You could heat coffee or hot chocolate in them.
Now- Canteens are made of plastic. You can't heat anything in them and they always taste like plastic.

1945- Officers were professional soldiers first. They commanded respect.
Now- Officers are politicians first. They beg not to be given a wedgie.

1945- They collected enemy intelligence and analyzed it.
Now- They collect our pee and analyze it.

1945- If you don't act right, the commander might put you in the stockade till you straighten up.
Now- If you don't act right, they start a paper trail that follows you forever.

1945- Medals were awarded to heroes who saved lives at the risk of their own.
Now- Medals are awarded to people who show up for work most of the time.

1945- You slept in a barracks, like a soldier.
Now- You sleep in a dormitory, like a college kid.

1945- You ate in a Mess Hall. It was free and you could have all the food you wanted.
Now- You eat in a dining facility. Every slice of bread or pat of butter costs, and you can only have one.

1945- We defeated powerful countries like Germany and Japan.
Now- We can't even beat Iraq or Yugoslavia.

1945- If you wanted to relax, you went to the Rec. Center, played pool, smoked and drank beer.
Now- You go to the Community Center and can still play pool.

1945- If you wanted a beer and conversation you could go to the NCO or Officers Club.
Now- The beer will cost you $1.75, membership is forced, and someone is watching how much you drink.

1945- You could buy quartermaster gas tax free because it was on a military reservation.
Now- AAFES charges you the tax but pockets the money themselves because it is on a military reservation.

1945-The PX had bargains for GI's who didn't make much money.
Now- You can get better merchandise cheaper at Wal-Mart.

1945- If a general wanted to make a presentation he scribbled some notes down and a corporal prepared a bunch of charts
Now- The general prepares his own charts, spending hours usnig Power Point.

1945- We could recognize the enemy by their Nazi helmets.
Now- We are wearing the Nazi helmets.

1945- We called the enemy things like "Krauts" and "Japs" because we didn't like them.
Now- We call the enemy things like "opposing forces" and "aggressors" so we won't offend them.

1945- Victory was declared when the enemy was dead and all his things were broken.
Now- Victory is declared when the enemy says he is sorry.

1945- If you killed an enemy soldier, you could bring home his rifle as a trophy.
Now- If you bring home anything at all as a trophy you get a court martial.

1945- A commander would put his butt on the line to protect his people.
Now- A commander will put his people on the line to protect his butt.

1945- After the war, you could buy your own rifle from the government, cheap.
Now- You can't be trusted with your own rifle, and you'll be jailed if you ever get one.

1945- Wars were planned and run by generals with lots of important victories.
Now- Wars are planned and run by politicians with lots of important panty raids.

1945- We knew we were fighting for freedom. The country was committed to winning.
Now- We don't know what we are fighting for.

1945- All you could think of was getting out and becoming a civilian again.
Now- All you can think of is getting out and becoming a civilian again.

You Know You Are A Military Brat If You

actually like the clothes at the BX and don't mind that 100 other people are wearing the same thing.

all your former very best friends are as long gone as your last move.

always wish you were back at the last place you were stationed, even 20 years later.

answer the question "Where are you from?" with "I'm kinda from all over the place."

are able to imitate others' speech patterns easily.

are amazed at people who have lived somewhere more than three years.

are amazed at people who have never left their hometown.

are amazed at people who have who have never seen foreign currency.

are amazed at people who think Frankfurt is a some kind of hotdog.

are asked "Where did you learn to speak English so well?".

are asked "Is it hard always moving around?" when you've never known anything different.

are brought to tears by military music.

are going to a grocery store, but call it a commissary.

are initially confused when asked where you are from, but quickly respond "Everywhere."

ask what they mean when someone asks where you are from.

at 22 you are trying to find someone in the military to marry so you can get a new I.D. card.

avoid visiting the doctor because you don't trust civilian hospitals.

bagged groceries at the commissary on payday.

can ask for a beer in most European languages.

can bounce a quarter off your bedsheets and have hospital corner on your bed.

can call up actual memories of a country while you're in Geography class.

can identify ranks and duty station by the stickers on the car's bumper.

cannot speak the language of the country in which you were born.

can recite all of the AFRTS commercials along with the television.

can remember ordering a Big Mac, fries, and a beer.

can still convert foreign currency in your head.

can talk to anyone and everyone from anywhere and everywhere.

can't convince a stateside cousin that your Japanese kimono doll REALLY came from Japan.

can't drink Budweiser without being coerced.

conceal your father's rank because once people find out he has stars they'll never treat you the same.

craved to have a class six ration card.

didn't save things so you wouldn't go over the weight allowance of the next move.

didn't see a TV till you were almost a teenager.

do not understand why many of your friends are afraid to be in an airplane.

don't believe it when someone tells you they never left their hometown.

don't feel quite right seeing military personnel younger than you.

don't really know how to answer the question "What is your home town?".

don't remember the names of your childhood friends.

draw a quick map of the world to show someone where you last lived.

enjoy seeing guys in fatigues on city streets.

ever got sick eating chocolate field rations.

every room you've ever had was stark white, and you couldn't put nail holes in the walls.

everyone complains about your name being the most scratched out in their address book.

everywhere you go, you think you see someone you went to school with.

expect someone else to do your housework, but can't afford it.

feared turning 21 because they would take your ID card away.

feel like you should be visiting the States rather than living in them.

feel more at home on a military base than in town even though you've been a civilian for 26years.

feel more comfortable living near a military base and get bummed-out when a base gets closed.

felt like a part of history that was happening around you.

find that you can easily amuse yourself for hours at airports, train or bus stations.

find yourself with friends throughout the world.

get frustrated when others talk about going to their hometown to see old friends, teachers, etc.

get nostalgic when seeing O.D. Green.

get the itch to move every 3-4 years and forever feel like the outsider in the civilian world.

give someone a break because they are in the military.

go into culture shock upon returning to the States.

got beer from the Limonade man at the kiosk.

got dressed up and played pranks at Fasching.

got grounded, restricted to quarters, or put on KP duty.

got in trouble on the train to Berlin for taking a picture.

graduated from a high school you only attended for a year.
had a dad who bought you a used SAM to play with.

had a father who was always telling to "police the area".

had a pup-tent in your yard until your parents found out what was going on in there.

had a supply of K-Rations that you traded with your friends.

had Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners in a mess hall.

had your introductory speech prepared and memorized for your first day at a new school.

had your school lunches planned and served by people wearing sergeant or private stripes.

have a collection of beer caps from everywhere.

have a very best lifelong friend whom you have known for less than a few years.

have been asked just where in NY "Apo" is.

have been hit on at the young age of 13 by men in uniform.

have driven four hours to Munich for the taste of a poorly done Big Mac.

have to explain that being born in Germany does not make you German.

have to explain why your SSN is from an APO, and your home of record and state of residence don't match.

have forgotten how to speak more languages than most people ever learn.

have USAA as your insurance company.

haven't seen your best friend since the last time Dad was transferred.

hear the sound of freedom when military aircraft fly by while civilians complain about the noise.

know exactly how horrible AFN commercials are.

inexplicably have the urge to move to a new place every year for no reason at all.

keep bumping into people all over the world who know friends that you haven't seen in years.

kept evac-backpacks by the front door with clothing and passports incase "IT" happened.

knew the rank and name of the kid next door's father before meeting the kid next door.

know how great it is to be able to return to base and your little slice of America.

know how to pack a footlocker.

know kilometers better than miles and celcius better than fahrenheit.

know that Radio Luxemborg was the number one way to keep up with the latest rock and roll hits.

know the words and tune to military march songs.

know what "the land of the big PX is."

know what a jump tower is and after a few beers - thought it made good sense to climb one.

know what Ami geh heim or knittle in die buxe means.

know what the "land of the round door knobs is".

know what the relative value of a pfenning, won, or yen is compared to the U.S. Dollar.

know about a variety of cultures.

left school frequently for bomb scares.

like institutional-style cooking and enjoyed going to the Mess Hall.

liked going shopping with mom for an hour and a first 10 years of your life.

made better grades in geography because you'd been to the places you were studying.

meet another military brat sometime somewhere and are instantly bonded.

miss shopping at AAFES or the PX.

most of your Scout camping equipment had US instead of BSA stamped on it.

most of your siblings were born in various foreign lands.

munched hot brotchen and gummies on the way to school.

name schools in three countries on two continents when asked what high school you attended.

never quite finished decorating your place because you knew you'd be moving soon.

noticed Tom Cruise in uniform, outside with no hat, and having a non-regulation haircut in Top Gun.

painted a picture on the Berlin Wall before it fell.

panic when you can't find your I.D. or passport.

played American Football at the schwim bad to impress the German girls.

polished your father's boots and brass for his upcoming inspection.

put your hand over your heart at 5 p.m. knowing the flag was coming down somewhere.

realize that the latest fashions in the States are not the same clothes you bought on base.

refer to being in the U.S. as "in the world."

remember following your favorite film as it made the rounds on the AAFES theater circuit.

remember being able to watch the Super Bowl or World Series live on TV at 2 am.

remember Chris Noel's dedication show on Armed Forces radio during the Vietnam war.

remember hanging out at the AYA.

remember the Saturday afternoon tank rides at Fort Hood.

say "Think OPSEC" to your friends so they will keep it secure, then realize it won't make sense to then.
start a major portion of your conversations with "When I was in..."

stand up and recite the national anthem at the start of movies.

still do yard detail!

still get the urge to pack up and move about every 22 months.

still look for your ID card after you've grown up.
stopped saying I used to live in Japan because people kept asking you if you spoke Chinese.

talk to someone with an accent and pick it up yourself.
tell everyone you are from a town that you haven't lived in since you were 4 years old.

the oldest friend you have is from your senior year of high school.

the term "combat loaded" refers to how the movers load the van.

think locals have such a limited perspective.

think of the fathers and mothers of your childhood neighbors by their rank.

think the US seems like a foreign country.

think you see old classmates on every corner, whether you are in Brussels, Bangkok, or Boise.

thought all doctors issued all purpose capsules for every ache and pain.

thought all pens had "US Government" printed on them.

thought aspirin came in 5,000 count bottles.

thought everyone slept under green or blue wool blankets that had "US" on them.

thought that a firing range made a great playground.

thought that the Quartermaster was the real Santa Claus.

thought vacations meant going stateside to visit the grandparents.

told civilian friends stateside where you lived, and they complimented your English.

try to remember to drive on the right side of the road.
try to take out your ID card when you enter a grocery store.

use words like "hit the deck", "visit the head" and "pogey bait".

used the federal warnings on your I.D. card to convince your cousins that you were a military agent.

waited every Saturday at noon for the alert sirens to go off.

went into hysterics when your grandparents thought of selling their house.

went out and found everybody leaving on Maneuvers.

went to school in a converted POW camp.

were born in an US occupied country and moved every 3 years.

were more interested in your new friend's father's rank than what color your friend was.

were pleased to find upon returning stateside that the locals spoke American.

still think of yourself as a yeoman after 20 years as a secretary.

battleship grey makes you feel warm and fuzzy.

can shine your military kid's brass better then he can.

come to the US, turn on the T.V., and notice that the shows are in English.

see a homeless person and somehow feel spiritually related.

your civilian boss has to ask you more than once not to say "Yes sir" and "No sir".

woke up to F-4's zooming overhead.

wonder if dad signed a hand receipt when you were born.

wondered who your new best friend would be as you enrolled in yet another school.

make things up about where you are from avoid the headaches of telling the whole long story.

are confused when your fiance talks about watching trees grow large in front of the house.

can recite which aircraft were in service in which era.

graduate from 12th grade and it's your 13th school .

have had your own punch card at the local Class VI store since you were 16

use Script or MPC's instead of green backs.

went on week-long field trips to England, France and Italy.
had been to every Gasthaus in Germany, both East and West, before you were 18.

your SSN, home of record, state of residence, and place of birth are far from matching.

know "transfer" means "pack your toys and say see ya later".

were in your late teens before you realized flashlight batteries came in any color but OD.

and your friends played army in an abandoned concentration camp.

See You All tonight after work!