Florida gets low marks in smartness

Herald Tribune ^ | Nov 24, 2002 | David Grimes

[stainlessbanner]

As if we did not have enough problems already what with fire ants, alligators and the inescapable fact that Katherine Harris is our new congresswoman, a new study has concluded that Florida is the fourth dumbest state in the nation.

Morgan Quitno Press, a Lawrence, Kan.,-based research and publishing company, determined which states were the smartest and dumbest by figuring the per capita number of pickup trucks flying Confederate flags multiplied by the number of people who use the word "bagel" as an adjective as in "That's a bagel bowl of grits you got there."

Actually, Morgan Quitno did no such thing. The company determined which states were the smartest and dumbest by measuring the quality of elementary and secondary education. (My way would have been easier, I bet, and probably would have yielded the same results.)

Criteria included such things as per-pupil expenditures, public high school graduation rates, average class size, teacher salaries and reading and math proficiency.

According to the 2002 rankings, Connecticut is the smartest state, followed by Vermont, Montana, New Jersey and Maine. The dumbest state, or 50th smartest state if you prefer, was New Mexico, followed by Louisiana, Mississippi, FLORIDA and Nevada.

This is the first time that Morgan Quitno has compiled a smartest state list, so it's impossible to tell if we're smarter or dumber than we were a few years ago. Contrary to all visual evidence, Florida is slightly more livable today than it was 11 years ago. A Morgan Quitno study of livability ranked Florida third from the bottom in 1991 (Mississippi was the worst) but promoted it to 39th best in 2002. (Minnesota was ranked the most livable state, which just goes to show that shoveling snow and frostbite are more fun than we thought.)

I'm not sure what we can do about our livability ranking other than putting the whole state under an air-conditioned dome, but I have some ideas on how we can move up the ladder in the smartness department.

For starters, we need to stop holding elections. It is one thing for our students to have low math and reading scores. It is another thing entirely to demonstrate to the world that we are too stupid to punch holes in pieces of paper. I realize that the last election was, by Floriduh standards, more or less trouble-free. Still, I don't think we can depend on future elections to run as smoothly. The people of my generation, the accursed Baby Boomers, are getting older and more whacked-out by the minute to the point that we are only a year or two away from confusing a ballot with an Early Bird Special. (It is unclear whether a dribble of mashed potatoes will count for the Republicans or the Democrats.)

We Floridians can also improve our smartness quotient by refusing to plant any more citrus trees in our backyards. We have far more citrus now than anyone can possibly eat, so planting more trees is just another signal to others that our lights are on but nobody's home. At this very moment, in my office, people are hauling in grocery bags full of oranges and grapefruits (mostly grapefruits) to give away to their co-workers. The problem is that the co-workers also have bags of citrus sitting on their desks that they hope to give away. In New York, when you're stopped at a traffic light, people appear unbidden and begin washing your windshield. In Florida, you stop for a traffic light and people appear unbidden and shovel tangelos and ruby-red grapefruit through your open window.

This sort of thing almost never happens in Connecticut, which could explain why it's the smartest state.

[stainlessbanner]

Lemme guess - a Northern transplant thinks Florida needs to be more "progressive"

[Poohbah]

Nope. They just oversampled West Palm Beach voters who couldn't figure out if they were voting for Pat Buchanan or Al Gore.

West Palm Beach: "We put the DUH! back into Floriduh!"

[My2Cents]

Montana is third-smartest? I don't besmerch Montanans; I just find this interesting.

[Tijeras_Slim]

In New York, when you're stopped at a traffic light, people appear unbidden and begin washing your windshield. In Florida, you stop for a traffic light and people appear unbidden and shovel tangelos and ruby-red grapefruit through your open window.

Well, that 'splains it. In New Mexico we don't stop for traffic lights at all.

[Tijeras_Slim]

An' don't get me started about turn signals....

[Willie Green]

I don't have any hard statistics to cite,
but IMHO, Texas likely holds the record for "hold muh beer" alerts.
Not really sure how the states rank by Darwin Award candidates.

[js1138]

An honest person would measure the quality of education by scores on objective tests.

But that wouldn't give the "correct" answer.

My daughter took advanced biology in a school where the lab/classroom had only one sink. Ever kid in the class got a 4 or 5 on the AP test.

[Captainpaintball]

"...determined which states were the smartest and dumbest by figuring the per capita number of pickup trucks flying Confederate flags multiplied by the number of people who use the word "bagel" as an adjective as in "That's a bagel bowl of grits you got there."

What a smug, slimy liberal douchebag this guy is. Substitute the above with "the number of non-english speaking hispanics multiplied by the number of blacks and seniors unable to figure out a butterfly ballot..." and the guy would be thrown out on his ass...

[stainlessbanner]

Typical liberal rant. He offers no solutions and resorts to name calling. Well, sir, if Florida is so bad, head north on I-95. The author never considers he might be part of the problem.

[MotleyGirl70]

Floriduh Voting Machine.

[per loin]

#1 Ranking is "Smartest"

2002 SMARTEST STATE AWARD
ALPHA ORDER				RANK ORDER
RANK	STATE	SUM		RANK	STATE	SUM
41	Alabama	(7.41)		1	Connecticut	13.04
25	Alaska	0.26		2	Vermont	12.33
44	Arizona	(7.98)		3	Montana	11.43
38	Arkansas	(5.96)		4	New Jersey	9.81
29	California	(2.51)		5	Maine	9.65
27	Colorado	(0.78)		6	Wisconsin	8.77
1	Connecticut	13.04		7	Massachusetts	8.00
43	Delaware	(7.76)		8	Wyoming	6.68
47	Florida	(12.66)		9	Indiana	6.04
40	Georgia	(7.19)		10	Rhode Island	5.85
45	Hawaii	(9.44)		11	Iowa	4.99
22	Idaho	1.43		12	Minnesota	4.98
33	Illinois	(3.41)		13	Nebraska	4.87
9	Indiana	6.04		14	Kansas	4.50
11	Iowa	4.99		15	Pennsylvania	4.41
14	Kansas	4.50		16	Texas	4.08
28	Kentucky	(1.67)		17	Utah	3.67
49	Louisiana	(17.18)		18	West Virginia	3.53
5	Maine	9.65		19	New Hampshire	3.49
30	Maryland	(2.65)		20	Michigan	2.52
7	Massachusetts	8.00		21	North Dakota	2.06
20	Michigan	2.52		22	Idaho	1.43
12	Minnesota	4.98		23	Oregon	0.80
48	Mississippi	(17.09)		24	North Carolina	0.64
31	Missouri	(2.71)		25	Alaska	0.26
3	Montana	11.43		26	New York	(0.50)
13	Nebraska	4.87		27	Colorado	(0.78)
46	Nevada	(10.73)		28	Kentucky	(1.67)
19	New Hampshire	3.49		29	California	(2.51)
4	New Jersey	9.81		30	Maryland	(2.65)
50	New Mexico	(25.92)		31	Missouri	(2.71)
26	New York	(0.50)		32	Oklahoma	(2.74)
24	North Carolina	0.64		33	Illinois	(3.41)
21	North Dakota	2.06		34	South Dakota	(3.97)
41	Ohio	(7.41)		35	Washington	(4.23)
32	Oklahoma	(2.74)		36	South Carolina	(4.97)
23	Oregon	0.80		37	Virginia	(5.83)
15	Pennsylvania	4.41		38	Arkansas	(5.96)
10	Rhode Island	5.85		39	Tennessee	(6.98)
36	South Carolina	(4.97)		40	Georgia	(7.19)
34	South Dakota	(3.97)		41	Alabama	(7.41)
39	Tennessee	(6.98)		41	Ohio	(7.41)
16	Texas	4.08		43	Delaware	(7.76)
17	Utah	3.67		44	Arizona	(7.98)
2	Vermont	12.33		45	Hawaii	(9.44)
37	Virginia	(5.83)		46	Nevada	(10.73)
35	Washington	(4.23)		47	Florida	(12.66)
18	West Virginia	3.53		48	Mississippi	(17.09)
6	Wisconsin	8.77		49	Louisiana	(17.18)
8	Wyoming	6.68		50	New Mexico	(25.92)

METHODOLOGY--The Smartest State designation is awarded based on 21 factors chosen from Morgan Quitnos new annual reference book, Education State Rankings, 2002-2003. These factors reflect a strong commitment to students and teachers, an emphasis on excellence in the classroom and support of safe, well-run public schools (see box below.) To determine the Smartest State rankings, the 21 factors were divided into two groups: those that are negative for which a high ranking would be considered bad for a state, and those that are positive for which a high ranking would be considered good for a state. Rates for each of the 21 factors were processed through a formula that measures how a state compares to the national average for a given category. The positive and negative nature of each factor was taken into account as part of the formula. Once these computations were made, the factors then were assigned equal weights. These weighted scores then were added together to get a states final score (SUM on the table above.) This way, states are assessed based on how they stack up against the national average. The end result is that the farther below the national average a states education ranking is, the lower (and less smart) it ranks. The farther above the national average, the higher (and smarter) a state ranks. This same methodology is used for our annual Healthiest State, Safest and Most Dangerous State and Safest/Dangerous City Awards.

The table above shows how each state scored in Morgan Quitnos first annual Smartest State Award.

[mbynack]

What an idiot! Why does he feel that there is a link between public schools and intelligence? People don't have to be educated to be intelligent.

Also, there is no proven link between per-student expenditures and quality of education. Some of the schools with the highest per capita spending also have the lowest achievement scores. There have been cases where per capita spending has been increased dramatically at a particular school with no change in the subsequent California Achievement Test (CAT) score.

There are also many studies that show that there is little or no direct relationship between class size and student achievement (let alone intelligence.) (Although given a choice I would send my child to the school with the smaller class sizes.)

I also challenge him to find a link between teacher salaries and student intelligence. The Florida Panhandle has the lowest paid teachers in the state, but reasonably high student achievement scores. The reason the salaries are so low is because we have a lot of qualified people who WANT to teach in this area. Some of the inner-city schools in Miami offer the highest pay of any area in Florida (Combat pay) but still can't attract enough qualified teachers.

Even using reading and math achievement scores isn't necessarily a legitimate link to intelligence. There may be bias in the tests and some schools spend months just preparing students to take a particular exam.

I'm guessing that this guy is a product of the "Superior Northern Schools" that confuse intelligence and education level.

[Shenandoah]

Don't tell me Floridians aren't smart! The retirees can handle a dozen bingo cards at once! They may not be able to figure out a ballot, but their geniuses at bingo!

[Moosilauke]

Transparent poppycock. Using "expenditures" and "teacher salaries" as measures of "smartness" strikes me as a pretty "dumb" thing to do. All they're measuring is the relative power of the teacher establishment in each of the states.

[Hodar]

I'm certain that it's mere coincidence that an overwhelming majority of the top 15 states are all ran by liberals.

[MotleyGirl70]

Wisconsin, hitting the top ten at #6.

New Mexico last place. LOL! Even behind Florida. You have a lot of blockheads in N.M.

[stainlessbanner]

The Chewbacca Defense theory applies here.

[talleyman]

I'm surprised New Jersey didn't rank higher - after all, the state's full of wise-guys.

[CougarGA7]

Like I've said before. We breed a special kind of stupid here.