Being a law-abiding type individual, I wanted to do everything right. It's been a harrowing experience, but I have prevailed. A brief description of my efforts will be followed by a photo of my entry.
I started out my task by going to the City Planning Department to aquire the necessary building permit of said "House." The clerk at the front desk gave me the forms which needed to be filled out along with instructions that I needed to submit 5 copies of the architectural drawings. She also directed me to other departments which would be required to sign-off on the "fast-track" application. I also had to pay the $375.00 filing fee with a certified check from my banker.
My first stop was to the EPA office and I was told I needed to submit an environmental impact statement along with a $500.00 filing fee.
Next came a visit to PETA with a declaration that no animals would be used or harmed in the proposed building project.
My check-off list included that I would not waste any electricity during construction since Gray Davis' energy policies have depleted any "extra" electricity.
Next, I would be required to hire union labor so contracts had to be signed with the member unions of the Building and Trades Council.
I felt I was beginning to get shafted with all these "necessary" steps, so I stopped by my Congressman's office to see if he could help speed up the process. That plan didn't work out too well. Condit still isn't taking my calls.
Okay, I'll just head on over to Senators Boxer and Feinstein's offices and enlist their support. Bad idea. Babs' staff told me I would need to use the expertise of the flower children still lingering about in Marin County. Feiny's staff would only talk to me if I provided them with a donation to her next campaign and I would have to trade in my gas guzzling Mustang for an electric car.
I returned to the Planning Dept. office with all the forms signed, crossed all the t's and dotted all the i's. My bank account has been depleted, my credit card company raised my credit line, but I finally got my permit.
Construction began immediately and I submit the following photo for your consideration. I'm afraid there's nothing left in my account to offer a bribe.
