50 Reasons Lord of the Rings Sucks

Pointless Waste of Time ^

[HairOfTheDog]

Only a small one. Has ecurbh been pinged?

[Robert A Cook PE]

Okay...

1. A long time ago, Elves move to middle earth from a place called Valar. In Valar, things never die. Middle Earth is dangerous, filled with things that make sauron look like the punk next door. Elves decide to try and fix things.

Later, there existed a man and an elf, they fall in love and have two children: Elrond and Elros. Elrond decides to follow the elven path and live for just about forever. Elros decides to become follow the man's path (with the elve's blessing and a lifespan short in elven terms but many times the lifespan of regular guys). Elros moves to Numenor, an island between Valar and Middle Earth. The only catch is they can never set foot on Valar. A descendant of Elros does, and the whole island of Numenor sinks. Elros's descendants move back to middle earth and assume the power over the its peoples that the true elves didn't want.

Enventually Elros's descandants begin breeding with 'lesser' people and the "blood of numenor" declines. Eventually, we get to Aragorn, who yes is Elrond's great times about thirty grand nephew.

On Elrond's side, he decides to marry this elf called, well I don't remember, but the elf's parents are Galadriel and Celeborn ( that's right the lothlorien pair). So Arwen is grandchild of the Galadriel and child of Elrond. And Elrond is Galadriel's son-in-law.

Get it?

By the way, this is the daughter Jean, not the dad Robert.

[Revelation 911]

No movie should be over two hours long.

Bite your tongue -Blues Brothers (Original) 2hours :59 minutes

[Sungirl]

Did anyone mention that it was WAY TOO LONG???

[Miss Marple]

Here spinning your Tarantino mantra as well? Give it a rest. Tarantino is passe.

[MarkL]

Thanks for the clarification. I have trouble keeping the Roman and Greek mythos straight! lol

Mark

[Tennessee_Bob]

Yeah - no kidding. Myself, I'm glad I've got a life.

[ecurbh]

Ring Ping!!

[Wolfie]

Shhhh...its fun to watch people earn their Geek Wings.

[kaylar]

This thread's replies are proof of something I've suspected for some time now : Hardly anyone on FR is actually reading the articles posted here any more. They're just reading the first paragraph or so, scanning the rest briefly, and banging out a response based on that cursory scan.

[puroresu]

"12. Return of the Living Dead.

If you watch closely during the Inn scene, Frodo and his crew are shown getting stabbed by the Ring Wraiths. Then, five seconds later, they are fine again. Note to the director: try proofreading your movie before you release it to the public."


Are you sure that's correct? I thought the scene showed the Wraiths stabbing pillows. Frodo & friends had anticipated that the Wraiths would attack, and left their room, leaving their pillows under the covers so that the Wraiths would think they were still there.

Maybe I'm missing the sarcasm! :-)

[KneelBeforeZod]

[Wrigley]

Ping

Just wait till the Hobbit's Hole crowd sees this.

[AppyPappy]

ping

[jedwardtremlett]

Oh, come on. This is a work of satire if there ever was a one ; )

J

[Ignatz]

Loved the books, loved the movie(s).

Is the movie a word-for-word retelling of the books? Of course not. Is the movie the best rendering of the books into film? Absolutely! And probably will remain so for our lifetime, at least.

Are you an elitist, picayune little piss-ant if minor deviations or omissions from the books cause you to pan the film? Yes.

[strela]

My favorite:

Quality Control at New Line.

Millions of copies of the LOTR DVD have thick black bars at the bottom and top of the screen throughout the film. Didn't anyone catch this? You know what happens at the end, in the extreme foreground and extreme upper sky? Neither do I. Bush league, guys.

There's an ongoing, very entertaining flame war in the alt.video.dvd Usenet newsgroup about the differences and comparative advantages of widescreen and pan-and-scan formats.

Very entertaining post - thank you.

[Cagey]

Did anyone mention that it was WAY TOO LONG???

Not to mention you look like Sinead O'Connor as a result of viewing this film.

[sheltonmac]

LOTR PING

[Ignatz]

Hilarious, AJ!

Be alert, though, some here won't "get" it.