Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Politician Caught Up in Vampire Rumors
Reuters ^ | 1-10-2003

Posted on 01/10/2003 7:42:20 AM PST by Happy Valley Dude

BLANTYRE, Malawi (Reuters) - Hundreds of angry Malawians hounded a senior political figure from his house and stoned him late Wednesday, accusing him of harboring vampires. Blantire Urban Governor Eric Chiwaya, a member of the ruling United Democratic Front, was the latest victim of a bizarre rumor that the country's government is colluding with vampires to collect human blood for international aid agencies.

Bearing severe cuts to his face and body, he told Reuters from his hospital bed that a crowd had hailed him with stones and other missiles, chanting "vampire" and threatening to kill him.

Chiwaya said he knew some of his assailants, adding that political opponents were trying to discredit him and the government.

The vampire rumors have sparked several vigilante attacks on suspected bloodsuckers in recent weeks, despite official attempts to stop the rumor. One man was stoned to death, and three priests were attacked by angry villagers in the south.

Political tensions are already high in Malawi. President Bakili Muluzi's attempts to stay in office for another five-year term have already sparked protests, while many face starvation in the face of a regional food crisis.


TOPICS: Miscellaneous; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: africa; bullgenitals; goat; kenya; malawi; mermaid; penileshrinkage; politicians; southafrica; vampire; vampires; witchcraft; wizard; zambia; zimbabwe
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-2021-4041-6061-8081-84 next last

1 posted on 01/10/2003 7:42:21 AM PST by Happy Valley Dude
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: Happy Valley Dude
But wait, there's more.
There's:

2 posted on 01/10/2003 7:46:11 AM PST by BenLurkin
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Happy Valley Dude
Nothing Stone Age to see here...

Move along...

3 posted on 01/10/2003 7:47:16 AM PST by DWSUWF
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Happy Valley Dude
BTW, this is evidence that the spread of American "culture" is not an aid to democracy. Not when the "culture" being exported is pop culture with the likes of X-files and Snoop Dog Dog.
4 posted on 01/10/2003 7:48:54 AM PST by BenLurkin
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: BenLurkin
Triffids can be killed by spraying them with sea water.
5 posted on 01/10/2003 7:49:34 AM PST by N. Theknow (Giant Tarantulas on the other hand....)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: Happy Valley Dude
>...accusing him of harboring vampires.

You know, I had thought
that Clinton had been accused
of everything. But...

6 posted on 01/10/2003 7:50:18 AM PST by theFIRMbss
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Happy Valley Dude
Another Liberals' African success story...
7 posted on 01/10/2003 8:08:03 AM PST by pabianice
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Happy Valley Dude
Sounds like the premise of a really out-there horror film.
8 posted on 01/10/2003 8:08:35 AM PST by thisiskubrick
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Happy Valley Dude
Vampires? I know just the person for the job -


9 posted on 01/10/2003 9:20:31 AM PST by Cable225
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Happy Valley Dude
Reminded me of this...

Zambians Traumatised By Crash-landing Flying Wizards

Panafrican News Agency

January 6, 2001
Mildred Mulenga
Lusaka, Zambia

More than 30 stark naked people suspected to be wizards "crash-landed" on rooftops of houses owned by families, institutions and filling stations in Zambia last year, leaving the population puzzled.

The latest of these bizarre incidents occurred on New Year eve when one of such suspected wizard crash-landed in Kasanda, a mining township near the midlands central town of Kabwe, 80 km north of Lusaka, the capital. He sustained fatal body and knee injuries on impact.

The suspected wizard, believed to be in his 50's, reportedly fell on the roof of house owned by one Christopher Muwowo at about 01:15 hours Zambian time, causing pandemonium among sleeping family members.

Muwowo, a minibus driver and other members of his family were awakened by a loud bang on the roof, which also prompted dogs to start barking.

The man's wife, who was the first to get out of the house, was astonished to find a stark naked man kneeling on the doorsteps. She yelled for help.

When Muwowo dashed outside and asked the strange visitor what he was looking for at that awkward hour, the naked man simply said "kuku" (meaning Please Help). After that, he could not answer or talk anything until he was taken to Kasanda police station.

Curious neighbours, mostly dressed in their night wear who had heard the man's screams, went to Muwowo's house, only to be shocked by the presence of a naked man sprawling on the ground.

The naked uninvited guest was taken to Kasanda Police Station.

"Cases of witches and wizards crash-landing are rare in Kabwe but very common in Lusaka," said one onlooker.

Among the first people to rush to Kasanda Police Station to have a glimpse of the wizard was Kabwe Mayor John Siamuzyulu and Central Province Police Chief Ryan Chitoba.

Residents eager to see the wizard besieged the police station. A good Samaritan provided a blanket to cover the hapless man.

But since he could not talk, the police had difficulties to establish his name, age, his destination and where he was coming from.

The suspected wizard was later taken to the Department of Social Welfare to await being taken to the Traditional Healers and Practitioners Association of Zambia or THAPAZ who had agreed to exorcise him.

Unfortunately, the wizard died before he was charged and police have appealed to the Zambian public to come forward and identify the man.

THAPAZ president, "Dr" Rodwell Vongo, who heads a group of 40,000 local traditional herbalists, claimed in an interview with PANA that the Kabwe wizard was the only fatal case out of the over a hundred wizards who had so far crash-landed on roof-tops of houses in the country.

"They normally crash-land, giving lack of fuel as the cause of crash-landing and ending their missions prematurely," Vongo said.

Asked to clarify why wizards must fly naked, Vongo explained that this was the only way they could conceal their identity when flying.

"But the most important secret in their view is that the potency of their concoctions would respond to their taking off from the ground when naked than when they are dressed," he claimed

THAPAZ's director of Information, "Dr' Alex Kekelwa, said that exhaustion of fuel was not the only reason why wizards crash-land at times.

"Sometimes, some of these chaps fly over enemy territory, and they are shot down with traditional ground to air missiles.

"I am a traditional herbalist and my mission is to save life through healing and so THAPAZ does not recognise witchcraft. But if a wizard flew over my house, which is my territory, I will certainly respond by protecting my family and myself by shooting down a wizard.

I do not want to say anything beyond that", Kekelwa stressed.

Kekelwa declined to unravel the motives of flying wizards, saying he was not one of them to know their strategies. "May be some of these guys have concubines they want to visit hundred of kilometres away from where they live while others have sinister motives of going to kill their targeted enemies."

10 posted on 01/10/2003 10:37:06 AM PST by gnarledmaw
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Happy Valley Dude
This sucks.
11 posted on 01/10/2003 6:08:43 PM PST by boris
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Cable225
Vampires? I know just the person for the job -

There's nothing wrong with a vampire that can't be solved by Buffy....

12 posted on 01/10/2003 6:14:26 PM PST by Mulder
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 9 | View Replies]

To: Happy Valley Dude
Shoot. I thought this was a Hillary article.
13 posted on 01/10/2003 6:16:13 PM PST by Lanza
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: gnarledmaw
The problem is that the herbs give a wizard the ability to fly. Not to land. Big difference.
14 posted on 01/10/2003 6:17:51 PM PST by Billthedrill
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 10 | View Replies]

To: Happy Valley Dude

Sounds like your typical homeowners association..

15 posted on 01/10/2003 6:23:22 PM PST by Jhoffa_ (I am Bad Ash.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: gnarledmaw
gnarledmaw - Funniest post EVER!

"Sometimes some of these chaps fly over enemy territory, and they are shot down with traditional ground to air missiles."

Losing bladder control.
16 posted on 01/10/2003 6:25:20 PM PST by ricpic
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 10 | View Replies]

To: gnarledmaw
When Muwowo dashed outside and asked the strange visitor what he was looking for at that awkward hour, the naked man simply said "kuku" (meaning Please Help).

"Cuckoo" misspelled and misinterpreted. Obviously, the people involved didn't realize they were stuck in some kind of Warner Brothers cartoon, probably a Road Runner.

17 posted on 01/10/2003 6:29:15 PM PST by VadeRetro (Faster than a speeding building; able to leap tall bullets in a single bound!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 10 | View Replies]

To: Happy Valley Dude
Surely, you jest?


18 posted on 01/10/2003 6:37:49 PM PST by Elenya
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Happy Valley Dude
Part of the NWO?
19 posted on 01/10/2003 7:25:58 PM PST by wingnuts'nbolts
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: WhyisaTexasgirlinPA
PING
20 posted on 01/10/2003 7:32:14 PM PST by ricpic
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-2021-4041-6061-8081-84 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson