HUMOR: Iraq Invasion to Start on Normandy Beaches

Scrappleface ^ | 1/21/2003

[saquin]

Another satire from Scrappleface:

(2003-01-21) -- If Saddam Hussein fails to disarm his country, the U.S. and a "coalition of the willing" will launch an attack on Iraq starting with a landing on the beaches of Normandy, France. Ground-based forces would then move across France and the Mediterranean Sea landing again in Syria for the march to Baghdad.

"Going through France may be the long way to get to Iraq," said U.S. Secretary of State Colin Powell, "but it's worth it. We want to show our troops the land we saved from Hitler on our way to the land we'll save from Hussein."

French Foreign Minister Dominique de Villepin announced yesterday that his nation would wage a major diplomatic fight, including possible use of its veto power, to prevent the U.N. Security Council from passing a resolution authorizing military action against Iraq.

Secretary Powell said the troop movement through France would also serve as "unspoken negotiations with the French."

"Think of what it will do for their economy," Mr. Powell added. "I'm sure our forces will buy a bunch of cheese along the way. It's a goodwill gesture from us to them."

[bluefish]

bwaaahh!! hhhaaaaa!!! I like this.

[big bad easter bunny]

This joke was sent to my Father from one of his best friends who happens to be an Arab:


To my American friends: This is hard to read unless you know some Arabic. The Arabic expressions are Lebanese and funny. Anyway, I am sending it to indicate the type of self mocking humour these days in the Arab countries.
Albert



so the story goes ....

G.W.BUSH was sitting in his oval office wondering which country to invade
next, when his telephone rang.
"Hallo, Mr. Bush" a heavily accented voice said. "This is Abul Abed, down
'ere at Qahwet le?jezz.? I am callin' to tell ya dat we are officially
declaring war on you you!"
"Well Archie," G.BUSH replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is
your army?"
"Right now," said Abul Abed, after a moments calculation "there is myself,
me cousin Maroun, me next-door-neighbor Abou Yussef, and the whole team from
the Qahwe. That makes eight!"
BUSH paused. "I must tell you Abul Abed, that I have one million men in my
army waiting to move on my command."
"Holy jeez," said Abul Abed. "I'll have ta call ya back!" Sure enough, the
next day, Abul Abed called again. "Mr. Bush, the war is still on! We have
managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"
"And what equipment would that be Abul Abed?", BUSH asked.
"Well sir, we have two Mercedes 180, and a truck."
BUSH sighed. "I must tell you Abul Abed, that I have 16,000 tanks and
14,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to one and a
half million since we last spoke."
"Ya lateef", said A Abul Abed, "I'll be getting back to ya." Sure enough,
Abul Abed rang again the next day. "Mr. B, the war is still on! We have
managed to git ourselves airborne! We modified a helicopter wit a couple of
shotguns in the cockpit, and four more neighbors have joined us as well!"
BUSH was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I must tell you Abul
Abed that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military
complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And
since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"
"Lah lah lah lah," said Abul Abed, "I'll have ta call youse back." Sure
enough, Abul Abed called again the next day. "Mr. Bush! I am sorry to have
to tell you dat we have had to call off dis 'ere war."
"I'm sorry to hear that" said BUSH. "Why the sudden change of heart?" "Well,
sir," said Abul Abed, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long chat, and
come to realize dat dere's no way we can feed two million prisoners."

LEBANESE CONFIDENCE CANNOT BE SHAKEN!