Professor Harold Hill: Have you ever done any experiements with perpetual motion?
Tommy: Yes. I almost had it a couple of times.
Congressman Billybob
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Don't jest with me. I am on the verge of the greatest discovery in the history of the galaxy! I can give you this one little hint: My work involves chaining together several creationists in a rubber room. You get infinite output of hot air, yet there is no observable input of any kind.
[From the la-BOR-a-tory of PatrickHenry]