The Enemies List [P. J. O'Rourke excerpt "Let’s give a wedgie to the whiners"]

Groveatlantic.com ^ | P. J. O'Rourke

[Ragtime Cowgirl]

Where’s our McCarthyism?  Who’s our Tail-Gunner Joe?  Why don’t we get to look for Communists under our beds or—considering the social changes of the past thirty-five years—in them?  (“Good night, honey, and are you now or have you ever been a member of the Committee in Solidarity with the People of El Salvador?”)

God knows the problem is not a lack of Commies.  There are more fuzzy-minded one-worlders, pasty-faced peace creeps, and bleeding-heart bed wetters in America now than there ever were in 1954.  The redskis have infiltrated the all-important exercise-video industry, not to mention movies and TV.  Academia, too, is a veritable compost heap of Bolshie brainmulch.  Beardo the Weirdo may have been laughed out of real life during the 1970s, but he found a home in our nation’s colleges, where he whiles away the wait for the next Woodstock Nation by pestering undergraduates with collectivist twaddle when they should be thinking about better car stereos.

We need some means of persecuting neuterers, nutters, and screaming greenies, some way to abuse entitlement tramps, participants in Gorby orgies, men who think the government is their mother, and women who think government can do the mothering for them.  Let’s give a wedgie to the whiners, criers, and wet smacks in mortarboards.  Let’s soap the windows of those who would beggar achievement, vandalize the lawn ornaments of magical thinkers, and heave rotten fruit at haters of beef, gin, and cigars.  Let’s tell ghost stories to the mollycoddles who fear atomic power, military strength, and the very puissance of Western Civilization itself and turn the garden hose on the people who can’t bear their freedoms, their selves, or their society and want to vent those pathetic loathings on us, the betters.

[Ragtime Cowgirl]

Added bonus quote from Mr. O'Rourke:

"The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. True, you can sit outside in Paris and drink little cups of coffee, but why this is more stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whiskey I don't know."
      —from Holidays in Hell

[Rome2000]

POW!!!!!!!!

[Rome2000]

Never forget the first time I went to Paris.

I was traveling as a roadie for a semi-famous hardcore punk rock group, and we were recognized at a cafe (we were drinking beer, not coffee).

This guy comes up and starts talking about how the "right" sucks, then produces photographs of his "group" in camo holding assault rifles, as well as photos of his groups girlfriends tied up with ropes and stuff.

Strange place, half the population is busy trying to make up for WWII and Vichy, and the other half wish the Germans won.

[ricpic]

Puissance: power, might.

Just in case there are other ignoramos like me out there.

[germanicus]

O'Rourke is the best. The only problem is that he hasn't written enough to keep me entertained so I've had to re-read his material (books) several times over. And they still makes me chuckle. His world perspective is reality based, which is why it's so funny (especially about the French and Arab cultures).

[dix]

P.J. has kept me in stitches for years. I’ve never read this quote though. Thanks

[moodyskeptic]

I agree, he should give us more writing in our national time of need. I've been turning people onto his books for years, and he is as biting as Ann Coulter and side-aching funny. I noted his name back when National Lampoon was GOOD and followed his apostacy as a writer within the student movement betraying his socialist hippie buddies. He's the funny David Horowitz.

[Ragtime Cowgirl]

Strange place, half the population is busy trying to make up for WWII and Vichy, and the other half wish the Germans won.

Wow. Great quote. When they copied our Revolution, they replaced God and law with guillotines and mob rule.

[Ragtime Cowgirl]

ignoramos = ignoramuses...or, French ignoramuses = ignoramoose? Thanks for the help, ricpic. (^;

[GOPJ]

Cool stuff:

. Let’s soap the windows of those who would beggar achievement, vandalize the lawn ornaments of magical thinkers, and heave rotten fruit at haters of beef, gin, and cigars. Let’s tell ghost stories to the mollycoddles who fear atomic power, military strength, and the very puissance of Western Civilization itself and turn the garden hose on the people who can’t bear their freedoms, their selves, or their society and want to vent those pathetic loathings on us,

[blackbart.223]

"O'Rourke is the best. The only problem is that he hasn't written enough to keep me entertained so I've had to re-read his material (books) several times over. And they still makes me chuckle. His world perspective is reality based, which is why it's so funny (especially about the French and Arab cultures)."

"Parliment Of Whores" and "Give War A Chance" are my favorites. And the best two chapters from "Give War A Chance" are the ones dealing with The Carters and The Kennedys. Written a decade ago, they are relevant to today.

[Ragtime Cowgirl]

He used to be a "pinko" and escaped to intellectual freedom. Hurrah! Resistance is not futile. PJ could be as dangerous as Rush if we smuggled him into the schools. Hmmm...?

[Ragtime Cowgirl]

You're very welcome. The above is my new response to "peacenik" hate e-mail. (^:

[redbaiter]

"Why, your communist is the type of guy or gal who only cares about great big rights and wrongs - the really tremendous and large ones the size of whole countries and stuff. And there's nothing worse in the world than somebody who cares about rights and wrongs that big.

Now, everybody cares about regular right and wrongs, rights and wrongs that are about our size. Your wife, for instance - just what has she been doing during the day? Do you think that's "wrong"? Would it be "right" to give her a pop in the yap?"

P.J. O'Rourke, The Trouble With Communism

[Larry Lucido]

My favorite:

"Don't I sometimes get called a Nazi? Yes, name-calling, in which conservatives such as myself are loathe to indulge, is a favorite tactic of the liberals. I have often been called a Nazi, and, although it is unfair, I don't let it bother me. I don't let it bother me for one simple reason. No one has ever had a fantasy about being tied to a bed and sexually ravished by someone dressed as a liberal."

P. J. O'Rourke,
Give War A Chance: Eyewitness Accounts of Mankind's Struggle Against Tyranny, Injustice and Alcohol-Free Beer

[lorrainer]

A big P.J. O'Rourke bump.

And I think the plural is ignoramii. But I could be wrong. ;o)

[Erasmus]

Man, that's deep.

[jla]

FYI & I see you haven't yet opted for a more abbreviated screen name.
What's the hold up?

[FBD]

"What's the hold up?" On your advice, and in the interest of saving bandwidth, I have emailed JimRob, and asked for the change!

FRegards,
FBD

[FBD]

Good post! Thanks.
Guys, for those long commutes; check out PJ's audio books.
His newest,"CEO Of The Sofa" is 6 hrs worth of chuckles!

---

Ragtime Cowgirl,

I'd like to see someone at FR (someone like yourself) start an "Enemies List" thread of current Hollywood traitors, and bloviators.

We can keep adding to it, as new enemies pop up. It would be informative, and fun, plus it would help folks to keep track of whose movies to avoid spending money on. What do ya' think?

For starters, I nominate: Martin Sheen, Sean Penn, Ed Asner, Susan Saran-wrap, Tim Robbins, the jackass Bill Maher, Mike Farrel, George Clooney , all the Baldwins, Meat head Rob Riner, plus...

---