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France: A relatively small and eternally quarrelsome country in Western Europe, fountainhead of rationalist political manias, militarily impotent, historically inglorious during the past century, democratically bankrupt, Communist-infiltrated from top to bottom.
--William F. Buckley, Jr.

France is the only country where the money falls apart and you can't tear the toilet paper.
--Billy Wilder

What I gained by being in France was learning to be better satisfied with my own country.
--Samuel Johnson

I would have loved it--without the French.
--D. H. Lawrence

Everything is on such a clear financial basis in France. It is the simplest country to live in. No one makes things complicated by becoming your friend for any obscure reason. If you want people to like you, you have only to spend a little money.
--Ernest Hemingway

Frenchmen are like gunpowder, each by itself smutty and contemptible, but mass them together and they are terrible indeed!
--Samuel Taylor Coleridge

The French probably invented the very notion of discretion. It's not that they feel that what you don't know won't hurt you; they feel that what you don't know won't hurt them. To the French lying is simply talking.
--Fran Lebowitz

They aren't much at fighting wars anymore. Despite their reputation for fashion, their women have spindly legs. Their music is sappy. But they do know how to whip up a plate of grub.
--Mike Royko

Every Frenchman wants to enjoy one or more privileges; that's the way he shows his passion for equality.
--Charles de Gaulle

[Compiled by Jon Winokur ISDN 0-453-00565-9]

France claims only one prominent soldier named Napoleon, but he hailed from Corsica, part of the Genovese "empire." His name was really Buonaparte. He ruled all of Europe at one time, killed hundreds of thousands of people, including French, and is commemorated by a large tomb in Paris that few people ever see. It is a dusty, ugly mausoleum with hole-in-the-floor-no-paper heads. Sorta reflects the French ideals of culture and civilization. Yuk!