FRANCE - Some Famous Quotes

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[Xthe17th]

"France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country. France has usually been governed by prostitutes." --Mark Twain

"I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me." --General George S. Patton

"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion." --Norman Schwartzkopf

"We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it." --Marge Simpson

"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure." --Jacques Chirac, President of France

"As far as France is concerned, you're right." --Rush Limbaugh

"The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee." --Regis Philbin

"The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. True, you can sit outside in Paris and drink little cups of coffee, but why this more stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whiskey I don't know." --P. J. O'Rourke

"You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the 1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't have the face for it." --John McCain

"You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? Because he hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. He is French, people." --Conan O'Brien

"I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get the Germans out of France!" --Jay Leno

"The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching into Paris under a German flag." --David Letterman

[Exeter]

"If death toll equated with bravery, zooplankton would qualify as the bravest organisms in the Animal Kingdom."

LOL! LOL! I gotta remember this line. It's too good not to use in some future conversation...

[Hillarys Gate Cult]

Looking for a quote which I think was from the movie "Yellowbeard". I'm going from memory but I think it was a British ship captain who said "we must sweep the seas clear of the French until the rest of the world figures out what a great idea it is."

[Hillarys Gate Cult]

Heaven: A place where the French are the cooks, the Germans are the engineers, and the British are the policemen.

Hell: A place where the British are the cooks, the French are the engineers, and the Germans are the policemen.

[TheRedSoxWinThePennant]

[Hillarys Gate Cult]

Q: What does "Maginot" mean in English?

A: Welcome!

[JohnGalt]

Quite true, but is it fair to suggest they were cowards?

Italy was checked by the Albanians, Greeks, French, English and won a squeaker against the Ethiopians between 1936 and 1941. You could throw in the Austrians (allbeit led by Rommel)in 1915. All were OFFENSIVE wars rather than defensive measures that the French were fighting...quite a difference, eh?

Sadly, the French, Germans, and Russians are playing a game of power politics that is well over the heads of the average war hawk who thinks France is just being, well, France. Americans will discover soon enough when the creditors that have been supporting our welfare state start buying Euros rather than t-bills.

[gitmo]

If death toll equated with bravery, zooplankton would qualify as the bravest organisms in the Animal Kingdom.

Bravo!

[Smedley]

The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq. -- Dennis Miller

[Smedley]

"Cheese eating surrender monkeys." -- Homer Simpson

[Diogenes]

When all is said and done we shall discover that Saddam, who controls, and dips his fingers into, his country's treasury as if it were his own, gave lots of money to both Chirac (who claims a close, long-standing relationship with the tyrant that dates back to 1975 and before), and Schroder, who comes from extremely modest beginnings, on the guise of contributing to their political campaigns. Saddam must also have had similar arrangements with Putin/Ivanov, given the huge volume of business dealings between the two countries.

[friendly]

Official French Peace Treaty - Form

French Peace Treaty Signed this __________ day of _________ in the year _____. We, the Government of France do hereby surrender, unconditionally, to the Army(ies) of ________________, _______________, _______________, (additional space available on back if necessary). We do not wish hostilities to continue with aforementioned Army (ies) as it may lead to pain and suffering of our proud army. We will allow aforementioned Army (ies) to occupy our country, drink our wine, violate our women (children left to us), and to have unfettered access to anything else they should desire, for as long a time period as they wish. Please do not hurt us, we are a peaceful country that has no real army to defend ourselves (America…PLEASE HELP). X______________________________ President, Jacques 'Le Worm' Chirac

[Frunabulax]

Rhetorical value of equating the numberof casualties with bravery: Zero

Especially in light of the relevant numbers:

Number of French soldiers killed in all of World War II: 122,000 (far fewer than any other major power)

American: 290,000

Great Britain: 305,000

USSR: 11,285,000

[kcar]

The French make the best utitity knives, though. Here's Old Yeller:

http://www.75thrangers.com/french.html

[Colt .45]

Yet we can all thank France for establishing the first modern police state which was the fore-runner of all other totalitarian regimes ... Napoleon's France. I have nothing but contempt for the French ... as my father who served during WWII told me ... "What do you expect from people who fight with their feet and f**k with their faces?"

Having served and been to France myself, I personally, wouldn't walk across the street to piss in their mouths if their teeth were on fire.

[theFIRMbss]

"France is where all good
Americans go when they
die." -- Chuck Jones cartoon

[Ipberg]

The best thing I know between France and England is the sea. -- Douglas William Jerrold

I have tried to lift France out of the mud. But she will return to her errors and vomitings. I cannot prevent the French from being French. -- Charles de Gaulle

The French are a tremendously verbal race: they kill you with their assurances, their repetitions, their reasons, their platitudes, their formulae, their propositions, their solutions. -- Christina Stead

In France one must adapt oneself to the fragrance of a urinal. -- Gertrude Stein

There's something Vichy about the French. -- Ivor Novello

It's easy to forget how central the French people are in everything we mean when we say Europe. -- John Dos Passos

It is not that the French are not profound, but they all express themselves so well that we are led to take their geese for swans. -- Van Wyck Brooks

[razbinn]

"when it comes down to it,france is a like a blocked toilet,a $hithole filled to the brim of floating turds"-Razbinn

[razbinn]

of=with

[Mad Dawgg]

P. J. O'Rourke Bump

P.J.'s Books ar awesome.

[Paulus Invictus]

France claims only one prominent soldier named Napoleon, but he hailed from Corsica, part of the Genovese "empire." His name was really Buonaparte. He ruled all of Europe at one time, killed hundreds of thousands of people, including French, and is commemorated by a large tomb in Paris that few people ever see. It is a dusty, ugly mausoleum with hole-in-the-floor-no-paper heads. Sorta reflects the French ideals of culture and civilization. Yuk!