Captured Terrorist 'Sick and Tired' of Unfair Ron Jeremy Comparisons

Bob from Accounting ^

[Sir Gawain]

 

ISLAMABAD, Pakistan - Captured al Qaida leader Khalid Shaikh Mohammed finally broke his silence Tuesday after U.S. and Pakistani officials made offhand remarks comparing the terrorist to famed porn star Ron Jeremy during a 12 hour interrogation. "He just suddenly lost it," Special Ops Lt. Col Henry Gibson said. "This apparently was a sore subject. We hit a nerve." The suspected mastermind of the Sept. 11 terror attacks, Shaikh Mohammed was captured last week by US and Pakistani forces and is considered to be the No. 3 man in the al-Qaeda terrorist organization. He also bears an uncanny resemblance to veteran porn actor Ron Jeremy, known in the adult industry as "The Hedgehog." According to sources, nearly a dozen expert interrogators and translators were flown in to extract information from the the tight-lipped leader. After 12 hours they were about to call it a day when a security officer let the comment slip. "The prisoner doesn't even speak English," Gibson said. "But when someone pointed out that [Mohammed] looked just like the star of 'The Sperminator' and 'Dr. Sphincter' films, the guy just started screaming and cursing like a lunatic." Pakistani translator Ahmed Hajman worked feverishly to translate dozens of expletives from the standard Arabic into English. "He's been unfairly compared to Ron Jeremy his whole life and he just reached his breaking point," Hajman explained. "For years he's been working to change his image and no matter what he does, he still looks just like that fat American actor with the giant shlong. He's very upset." Gibson admits when he first saw the captured al-Qaida leader, it was the first thing that popped in his head, but he didn't say anything out of fears of acknowledging his love for pornography -- and in particular, the vast film library of Ron Jeremy. "When you become the third ranked leader in the largest terrorism network in the world, I guess you might find the comparison insulting. Especially considering his strict Muslim faith forbids any kind of pornography." Added Gibson, "But I don't know what the big deal is. Personally, I would be flattered."

Above: Terrorist calls Ron Jeremy comparison unfair.

[Sir Gawain]

-

[Physicist]

Can you say "shlong" on FreeRepublic?

[Dog]

When I first saw KSM photo I thought Joey Buttafaco..

[Stay the course]

I get compared to Ron Jeremy all the time (nudge, nudge - wink, wink).

[NerdDad]

Sweeeeet Jesus. I thought I was the only one in the world who saw the resemblance. I hollered so loud my wife thought I was having a seizure when I saw this article. She and I had discussed it the first day.

[Cachelot]

Can you say "shlong" on FreeRepublic?

You just did :)).

[Physicist]

She and I had discussed it the first day.

When I got home from work on the day the picture was released, Mrs. Physicist greeted me at the door with, "Hey doesn't that guy look like..." whereupon I cut her off with "Yes, yes, that's the first thing I thought of".

[TruthShallSetYouFree]

Can you say "shlong" on FreeRepublic?

apparently

[way-right-of-center]

Same here...

My brother sent me an email to this effect...

"Holy(Smokes)! Ron Jeremy is an international terrorist!"

We have laughed about it ever since the arrest.

[VOA]

"The prisoner doesn't even speak English," Gibson said.

(for readers/lurkers that haven't run across this info...)
Actually, KSM does speak (or can) speak English. He attended a small Baptist
college in North Carolina (Chowan College?) that has a fair number of foreign nationals
who study there a year or two to improve English skills and get through some
basic coursework before going to larger colleges/universities.
KSM went on to one of the larger North Carolina universities to get his degree
in mechanical engineering.

Gibson admits when he first saw the captured al-Qaida leader, it was the first thing that
popped in his head, but he didn't say anything out of fears of acknowledging his love for
pornography -- and in particular, the vast film library of Ron Jeremy.

Knowing who Ron Jeremy is is about equivalent to saying "I'm a straight male who was
in his 20s sometime in the 1970s, 1980s, or 1990s". Once VCRs were available,
just about every male would eventually have an acquaintance who'd pop in
a tape with the famed Ron Jeremy. Well, let's just say it was not uncommon...

I read a Los Angeles Times article on lobbying of Congress concening Firs Amendment
protection for pornography.
Ron Jeremy was quoted as being suprised at how many Republica/conservatives
know who he is at their meeting when he visits them concering censorship issues.

[yoe]

I am truly amazed this Islamic son even knew who Ron Jeremy is...I sure didn't. Terrorism is a form of porn IMHO.

[ewing]

Someone posted Mr. Jeremy's 'filmography' on another thread..it was hilarious

[ewing]

God help us all, someone on another thread also said that the Hedgehog is a freeper.. (obviously a Libertarian one)

[The Wizard]

For the sake of comparision, my wife and I reviewed some of Mr. Jeremy's work this afternoon. To improve our ability to really make the comparision, we watched his work from our new sofa bed.

after a hour of so of review, we decided that the resemblance was very real, based on "what we could see"

[Senator Pardek]

http://www.freerepublic.com/perl/profile?h=ron+jeremy

[mikegi]

Can you say "shlong" on FreeRepublic?

Little computer humor for ya: we were trying to figure out a name for a 64-bit integer. In C, an 8-bit number is char, 16-bit is short, 32-bit is long. Doesn't it seem appropriate to call a 64-bit int a "shlong"???

And, yes, we did have too much time on our hands...

[irish guard]

Does this mean that Mrs. Physicist watches porn? I think mrs. irish guard would be mortified to see what the Hedgehog does for a living, but irish guard wouldn't mind taking mrs. irish guard off to the bedroom to show her all about it.....hehehe

I sent out emails to a bunch of college buddies with a photo of Mohammed and Jeremy with the tagling "We report, you decide" attached.

[ewing]

Unbeliveable, Yasmine Bleeth must have been high on the coke when they took that picture..