Skip to comments.Prayer Request - Advice Needed
Posted on 02/16/2008 1:53:11 PM PST by BlessedBeTheName
Hello. I am a long time lurker here going back to 1998. This is my first post and one I am writing somewhat in desperation. I am a Christian who is the father of six kids ranging in age between 1yr. to 16yrs old.
Almost a month ago my 8 year got the idea she was going to walk to see her mother at her job about five miles from our home. I was upstairs at the time trying to get my 1 year old (who was being really fussy) to sleep. She got about 2 miles before found by the police. Thankfully she was ok except for a minor cut. In my 16 years as a perent I have never had anything like this happen before.
Not knowing what to do and being told by the officer that it would be filed to the DA, we got a lawyer. A week had gone by with nothing being filed by the police who I was told filed cases weekly.
My lawyer then called the police and the next day cps showed up at our house. After calling my lawyer they said they expected that and we set up a meeting with cps at the lawyers office. My wife and I were interviewed and then they interviewed the kids separetly and took pictures. The cps worker said she would call us that week to set up a time to do a home visit and she also wanted some numbers to people we know.
It has been almost two weeks since the meeting and the women from cps has not called us or any of the people who we gave phone numbers for. We have not heard anything from anyone.
My lawyer said they are trying to appease the police dept. so that they will not file the case. My lawyer seems to be wanting me to take parenting classes and wants my daughter who did this to undergo a psychological exam and get counseling.
I have heard horror stories about cps so we really want to have as little as possible to do with them. My lawyer seems to think that it would be ok to enter into a service plan with them. I have heard bad things about these service plans and that cps can use this to take your kids away.
That is pretty much where we are at. I have prayed for God to give me guideance with this, but as of now I am not sure what to do. We do not have the money for another lawyer.
I know there are alot of freepers with many different backgrounds so I wanted to post this to see what some of you thought. Any prayers for my family would be greatly appreciated.
Sorry if this is posted in the wrong forum. If so please move to appropriate forum.
Prayers for you and your family.
Prayers up for you and your family. And welcome to FR.
Mine skipped off to play ball about the same age...but forgot to tell me...as he usually did. Kids do these things. They'll see it when they are parents. How I wish I had called my mom many more times than I did but I have to live with my regrets.
Prayers for you and your family.
What ever you do, do not tell the CPS Worker that you are a Christian. Instead, tell them that you are Muslim and that as part of your faith you cast your daughter out into the streets and that your wife is working outside the home because she dishonored you.
You may win some Father of the Year award from the Liberals at CPS.
I have a friend in W.VA that went through a CPS scare about two years ago. Her child (7 at the time) had chipped a tooth during football practice, because of the way he fell he also received a black eye. The school nurse called CPS (she did not even bother to talk to the parents, who are both teachers).
CPS call my friend for a phone interview, then did a home visit, and talked to friends. The entire process took about six weeks. She, of course, was a nervous wreck the entire time. It turned out ok, as they are good parents - but was a horrible time for the family.
IMPO - I would not take the parent classes or have your daughter undergo a psychological exam and get counseling, that makes it look like there might be a problem.
Be patient. This is a pain in the rear, but will soon be over.
Wow! You’re living what is becoming every parents’ deepest fear: That somehow we come under the microscope of the government’s family and children services.
It’s easy to say “fill the sandbags, stockpile the ammo and fend off the government henchmen when they come to take your kids.” However, the best advice is probably to do what your lawyer told you to do, play their game and pray to God that they don’t decide to make an example out of you for having a child who does what kids do.
Mine wander off all the time.
Children do this all of the time.
Prayers for your peace.
May I rant just a little first?
What in heaven's name is so terribly wrong about an 8 year old trying to walk five miles? If she was going through a crack neighborhood or something, well maybe ... This is a TERRIBLE indictment of, well, I don't know what but of something. Yeah, We'll be praying. A whole decade of the Rosary going up with your family on it. This is crazy. I'm so sorry.
I could see going to a decent pastor and getting the name of a sane pshrink (if any) who would talk to our daughter for 15 minutes and pronounce her well, AND a sane "parenting teacher" who would do more or less the equivalent for you.
Terrific. We now have a society in which, if an 8 year old shows a little enterprise and self-reliance a whole bunch of professionals get their knickers in a serious twist. FABulous.
What state do you reside in and what type of work do you and your wife do. Sounds like a crazy question , but, not realy.
Hey mom, how’s the crew?!
Hey - all is good here. How are you & the Mrs.?
All good here also. I think it is time for a get together though, been a while.
Thank all of you for your prayers.
Thanks for your reply. The waiting and not knowing how this will turn out is unnerving. My lawyer said if I do not follow his advice then he will no longer represent me. Maybe that would be for the better, I don’t know.
Your lawyer sounds like a wimp. You have no need for parenting classes or counseling. You have done nothing wrong and you have accomodated the busy bodies long enough.
Time to say thanks, and move on.
If the cps decide to hassle you any longer look for a lawyer who likes to represent home schoolers.... I think he might be more interested in protecting *your* rights than in appeasing the govt.
Secondly, be yourself! CPS is simply doing their job. This is standard procedure. Be frank, honest and forthcoming with whatever information they may request.
Lastly, draw comfort and consolation from our Lord. He is right there at your side. As a christian, KNOW that He will not abandon you. You will be fine and your daughter will have learned a valuable lesson.
God's blessings on you and your family!
My advice is to cooperate with the investigation but don’t act guilty. You did nothing terribly wrong, things like this happen and have happened to all of us who have children. You turn your back for a moment and they’re gone. Anyhow, prayers for you and your family.
I remember when I was in first grade I wondered away from school, don’t remember much of a fuss about it.
Ofcourse, those were the good old days when we would walk a mile and cross railroad tracks to go fishing in a pond, didn’t even wear shoes.
She's eight! My God, what a sad state this country is in. What ever happened to a peace officer simply taking a wandering child home, reassuring the panicked parent, and leaving it at that? Zero tolerance, zero thinking, zero compassion, zero mercy.
Remember when Spencer Tracy (as Stanley Banks) left the pram unattended at the park because he got involved in a kids ball game? He came back, and realized his grandson was gone. The cops had taken the baby to the station when they figured no adult was around. As they were happily playing with the baby, Stanley came in and their demeanor changed. The cops lectured Grandpa, shaming him, but eventually the shaken, remorseful Stanley made it home with his grandson.
I know it's just an old movie, but it nonetheless highlights the attitude of a peace officer (verses the aggressive, modern-day LEO).
Even the acronym LEO indicates a predator, the king of beasts. Surely that's no accident.
Finally, I got tired...and hid behind the glider on the porch. AND FINALLY...Dad called my name and out I popped.
MY parents had been watching me all the time so I was never lost. It would have been nice if I got kudos for trying.
I agree, if I haven’t learned to parent after 16 years of raising several children (with no problems) I don’t see how classes will help.
The officer was pretty mad and told my wife she might want to consider a divorce. I can understand him being mad, I have beat myself up quite a bit over this also. I feel the divorce comment was over the line though.
Thank you FRiend.
You have my prayers.
You will be in my prayers.
I would say at this time to just let sleeping dogs lie. Let them do the processing, etc., but do go along with their suggestions.
Just like when you are testifying, do not volunteer any information that you have not been asked a direct question about.
Was anyone read their right? I doubt it, but possibly it happened. Family court is such a sticky place. My prayers are with you.
Another thing, on the counselor, get someone that you know and trust. Do not use the counselor at school or recommended, unless you know the person personally. Church might be a good place to get some recommendations. But check them out. If you don’t feel comfortable, say good bye and find another counselor.
Your daugher is eight, not two! This cop must be the village idiot. If you are a troll making up a bogus sympathy story, you sure are doing a good job. This is too ludicrous to make up.
Look at the bright side... at least you (or your daughter) weren't tazed, and noone shot your dog. :-/
We will pray for you!
Thank you for your prayers.
No rights were given. We plan on asking about a counselor today at church. The lawyer wants the exam and counseling to begin real soon so we are pressed for time in finding one.
I wish I were only trolling, unfortunately this is real.
The cps worker is from another country, I’m guessing she is a citizen now but she has a strong accent. Not that I’m against people from other countries becoming citizens, just gives a NWO feel to the situation.
You have my prayers for a quick resolution to all this.
Your lawyer does not impress me, from your account. It sounds like CPS had you on a back burner - dealing with real cases of abuse - until this lawyer calls and wakes them up again. And volunteering to take parenting classes is like an admission of guilt (”I AM a neglectful parent”) - don’t do it unless they make you. A psych eval for an independent little girl? Huh?
I lost track of my three year old once - he went outside and got in the car while I was in the bathroom - I called the police and called them off when I found him - and the people across the street had a full search going for their little girl - turned out she was sound asleep under the blankets. No CPS involvement.
Point being, good parents do lose track of their kids, and 8 year olds do go on adventures. Yes, an 8 y.o. is big enough to have open door privileges and go in the yard, and yes, if you don’t know where your 8 y.o. is for 40 minutes because she got ambitious, you’re not being neglectful.
So once again, you have my prayers. Hopefully CPS realizes quickly they have much better things to do.
The Lord be with him and your whole family. As He said “Do not affraid.”
Something happened to similiar to this many years ago. My son was helping my little 2 year-out of her crib and they both fell on the floor. She hurt her leg. I had to take her to the emergancy room. The doctor said I had physically abused her. He was a new doctor and had never met me before. I told him to get his hands off my daughter and I called my regular physician. He came to the hospital and to see me and told them there was no way I would do this.
You need someone who knows you well and has alittle bit of clout. A doctor, someone who is in politics, anyone who could give them a character reference of you and your wife. I wish you the best of luck and you will be in my prayers. This can happen to anybody. It could have so easily happened to me.
Actually, I would go to www.aclj.com web-site and get free legal advice if they don’t comply to your request to a character reference. You must learn about the rights of yourself and your child before they start questioning your daughter. This may be stressful for her and she may be led into saying things that are not true. God bless you.
Thank you for your reply and prayers.
Thank you kindly for your prayers, God bless.
None yet, still have not heard anything from anyone.
We(and many others)have prayed about this and I believe God is taking care of it. Thanks for asking.