You wrote:
“The mormons teach she was one of their gods wives too..”
Not “too” but singularly. No orthodox Christian - and Mormons are not Christian at all - believes the Virgin Mary had sex with anyone let alone a god.
“So would you say the Holy Spirit had sex with Mary.. that is how a marriage is consummated”
Not all marriages need be consummated - hence the term josephite marriage.
Is it not true that the Catholic church will grant an annulment based on a marriage not being consummated?