Skip to comments.Pentagon Spends $100,000 to Find Out: ‘Did Jesus Die for Klingons Too?’
Posted on 11/28/2012 11:56:27 AM PST by Alex Murphy
An Oklahoma senator has released a report outlining what he believes is some of the Pentagons most wasteful spending. Among a number of odd items includes a workshop on how Christianity would be affected if aliens were proven to exist.
Senator Tom Coburn is known to be the waste-watcher on Capitol Hill, as he investigates unnecessary spending in various branches of the government. On Thursday, he issued what some consider to be a laughable list of Defense Department expenditures that have nothing to do with defense.
In addition to $1.5 billion being spent on a plan to invent roll-up beef jerky, an iPhone app that helps people schedule their coffee breaks and scientific research on the swimming patterns of goldfish, was a workshop blending Christianity with the existence of aliens.
The event, entitled Did Jesus Die for Klingons Too?, focused on the implications for Christianity if intelligent life were to be found on other planets. According to the Global Post, actors such as LeVar Burton and Nichelle Nichols were present, and an intergalactic gala celebration was included, at which attendees were urged to don starship cocktail attire.
Klingons are are a group of aliens from the fictional sci-fi television and movie series Star Trek, which originated in 1966 and continues (at least in movie format) to present day. The series deals with a band of aliens and humans that seek to solve the problems of the universe, tackling topics such as imperialism, class warfare and racism. Some episodes are also said to have addressed sexism, feminism and religion.
Coburn issued a statement along with the list, asserting that the Pentagon needs to cut non-defense expenditures such as these.
The American people expect the Pentagons $600 billion annual budget to go toward our nations defense, he said. That isnt happening. Billions of defense dollars are being spent on programs and missions that have little or nothing to do with national security, or are already being performed by other government agencies.
He stated that if these expenditures are not cut, the Pentagon will continue spending billions of American taxpayer dollars on frivolous items. He said that the approximately $37 billion that will be spent over the next ten years on support and supply services could be better handled in the private sector. Coburn also commented that the Department of Defense has become the Department of Everything, as it even helps to run grocery stores across the country.
The DoD budget is aligned to strategic priorities we have identified to keep America safe and maintain the strongest military in the world, Pentagon spokesperson Lt. Col. Elizabeth Robbins told reporters with NBC today in a written statement. Over the past several years we have redoubled our efforts to make better use of the taxpayers defense dollar and meet our fiscal responsibilities.
Coburn doesnt think so. He says that the country could save at least $69 billion over the next decade if the Defense Department would simply stick to defense.
While Coburns report outlines that the government is proceeding with its plans for the roll-up jerky, as a variety of flavors are being developed, including salami, chipotle, turkey, pork and smoked ham, it is not known whether it came to a conclusion by the end of its workshop as to how Jesus death would apply to aliens if they indeed exist.
The event, entitled Did Jesus Die for Klingons Too?, focused on the implications for Christianity if intelligent life were to be found on other planets. According to the Global Post, actors such as LeVar Burton and Nichelle Nichols were present, and an intergalactic gala celebration was included, at which attendees were urged to don starship cocktail attire....
....While Coburns report outlines that the government is proceeding with its plans for the roll-up jerky, as a variety of flavors are being developed, including salami, chipotle, turkey, pork and smoked ham, it is not known whether it came to a conclusion by the end of its workshop as to how Jesus death would apply to aliens if they indeed exist.
The Klingon Rite of Ascension requires that the initiate walk between two rows of warriors armed with pain sticks. This is sometimes called The Way of Blood. It is a test of a warrior's commitment and courage. Christ satisfied this requirement and much, much more. And this act was no punishment for a criminal, as the Romans intended, nor was it a rite that had only a symbolic meaning. Christ did not run from this pain; he welcomed it. His sacrifice was an act of will. In this crucifixion, Christ defeated his enemies. And this is what makes him a suitable savior for the Klingon as well as the human and all races.
-- from the 2009 thread Klingons for Christ
The event, entitled Did Jesus Die for Klingons Too?,
Whoever thought of that event needs to get out of his mom’s basement, pronto!
...don starship cocktail attire...
I really don’t want/need to know anything further, thankyouverymuch.
Did they manage to invent roll up beef jerky?
Fruit-flavored, no less.
Well, Yes as a matter of fact HE did, but the Democrats refused him 3 times.....and still counting.
Bet you could have done this study for only $50k Ping.
Now that we know about this, you can bet the MuslimBrotherInChief will put an end to it. Can’t have anything that even remotely appears to acknowledge or support Christianity, after all...
This could be an interresting conversation between Sheldon Cooper and his mother.
While or military is trying to settle this question - the space aliens are out there planning how to wipe us out.
Hi ya, Smiley! Good boy...
All that money to invent beef jerkey... all they have to do is buy Slim Jim, they could probably have bought the company for that!!
The Jesus thing is crazy... who did this? Can these people be fired?
If the aliens were trying to wipe us out they would just drop counterfeit cash out of flying saucers and wait for the economy to crash.
The Department of Education has a $71 Billion budget dedicated to indoctrinating children in communism and faggotry.
The Environmental Protection Agency has a $8 Billion budget dedicated wholly to harassing productive citizens and corporations.
This is crazy... who did this? Can these people be fired?
At no cost to the DoD: The answer is YES. Jesus died for the redemption of all of us created by God. I figure that God may not have begun or stopped with creating only us. Thus His Son is for all of us, where ever we are in His universe.
I totally agree, of course
I can think of two things wrong with the above statement.
Well yes, even if there are hundreds of billions of inhabited worlds - who is to say how common the development of intelligent life is?
It took a few billion years and a few mass wipe outs of life before conditions were favorable for the rise of (semi)intelligent life here on Earth.
I think, if and when ETs are definitely proved to be real, most of Cristianity will adjust to it.
I think, if and when ETs are definitely proved to be real, most of Christianity will adjust to it.
Do you agree that it seems a bit fatuous to constantly harp on fraud, waste and abuse in DOD when there are whole departments that are 100% fraud, waste and abuse?
I think the Christians’ rabbi died only for the Klingons around Uranus!
In space, no one can hear you facepalm.
C. S. Lewis’ Space Trilogy was about something like this. Not so much Jesus dying for non-terrestrial life (that was, at least for this solar system’s purpose, only an earth thing), but about how Jesus might relate to life on the other planets.
*shrug* So was Jesus...
True. But the muslims will have an easier time adjusting.
They'll just expand jihad to a new frontier.
To boldly blow where no man has blown before...
This is about that gay mosque in Paris, isn't it?
He was burned at the stake for the heretical beliefs of "Multiple Christs" and "infinite universe". All Christians have always held to the belief that there was one Christ that died for ALL.
I used to regularly attend Klingon Bible Study.
Until that last fight, when I got thrown through a plate glass window.
the GAK served was always nice and fresh, tho
I love you ‘zilla.
Uh..errr...ummmm. Oui, zumzing laik zat...
Thank you, Godzilla!
I'm trying wrap my head around the idea...it takes 1.5 billion to do someone any beef jerky company can do for 1 % of the cost...
...and why do you need roll up beef jerky in the first place...?
It’s actually 1.5 Million, not Billion, but who’s counting?
Well, then... that makes it perfectly OK...after all nowadays in DC that's a rounding error / s
I remember an essay from a new US senator about his first committee meeting. The group bandied about numbers like 19.1 and 10.2. He was shocked when he realized the numbers were Billions and that congressional oversight only applied to .1 and larger; $100 million!
Maybe it's some kind of special military jerky. You know? Like some kind of real...solid...I don't know, Japanese thing.