Free Republic
Browse · Search
Religion
Topics · Post Article

To: Elsie; reaganaut; Godzilla; Tennessee Nana

Where oh where has restornu gone?
Oh where oh where can she be??


756 posted on 03/03/2014 2:32:35 PM PST by Elsie (Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 755 | View Replies ]


To: Elsie

Dear Ask Tommy,

The prophet said that if the congress of the United States did not obey him they would be destroyed. Now the courts in England are attacked you as our current prophet.

Did Joseph ever say anything about the Parliament in England?

I have dear neighbors who are distraught with grief over the persecution that has come upon you because you are our LDS prophet. So distraught that I have not seen or heard from them for several days.

Should I knock on their door to check on them, or call? I think an enquiring text would be too cold, but if you say that I should, I will text, rather than send an EMail as I do not have the Internet.

I am also keeping some funeral errr soothing mashed potatoes warm to take next door if you have a revelation that I should indeed visit them. My neighbors as worthy Mormons could also benefit from a dish of green Jello that I keep ready for faith promoting occasions but this would not be one would it?

Oh whatever shall we do, dear prophet? If we were to lose you we would for the first time be non-prophet and that could be bad for business errr while England has a financial fraud here in the United States we would have a financial void. Oh dear.

Oh I am quite beside myself.

I remain,

Undone in Utah

Dear UU,

I have had a revelation from the morm on gods that your neighbors are in need of a visit from you.

This is what the Mormon gods want you to do: Put your shoes and a warm coat on. Take your Jello from the fridge, and go to your front door, open it and pass through to the other side, arriving at the outside of your house. Turn towards your neighbors house and advance at a moderate pace to their front door, and ring the door bell or knock on the door if there is no bell. If the neighbors open the door, tell them I as your prophet send them greetings and some nice delicious Jello.

As I am in need of some Jello and sympathy also please send some to the office of the president of the LDS when you send your tithes this week.

At this time it would please the Mormon gods and they will bless you and give you an extra special patriarchal blessings when you send an extra offering of $1,000 to help pay for my trip to England err to meet my needs errr no not mine errr the needs of the hungry and the needy.

Ask Tommy


757 posted on 03/03/2014 3:48:29 PM PST by Tennessee Nana
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 756 | View Replies ]

To: Elsie; reaganaut; Godzilla; Tennessee Nana

A silent ZOT?
 
An invisible one??
 
A self induced one???

 

 

 

 

JESUS: Hmmmm. According to my Heavenly FAITHbook, you didn't sign in as one of my friends - sorry, I never knew you.

JOSEPH SMITH: But....

 

...and this is how FR now refers to restornu:

 

Nobody by that name.


 

 

Make SURE that your name REMAINS in the Lamb's Book of LIFE!

761 posted on 03/04/2014 3:34:45 AM PST by Elsie (Heck is where people, who don't believe in Gosh, think they are not going...)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 756 | View Replies ]

Free Republic
Browse · Search
Religion
Topics · Post Article


FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson