Posted on 08/22/2014 2:09:37 AM PDT by markomalley
Those nine years were not wasted. It gave your kids time to work some issues through and the opportunity to have a meaningful voice in what happens with their own lives. I think “staying married for the children’s sake” is a legitimate option, but I also believe that, by the time they’re old enough to have a good understanding of what divorce actually means, the kids should have a voice in that decision. You gave them one, and that’s a great thing.
I don’t think the government should make marriage more difficult. OTOH, a lot of pastors in my denomination (non-Catholic) simply won’t marry a couple if (1) the couple won’t go to counseling or (2) the pastor doesn’t think the marriage will last. If my pastor sat down with my kids and said, “Look, I see trouble coming because of this and this and this,” my kids would definitely think twice about the situation. I’m not saying anyone should be forced to submit to that sort of religious vetting before they can get married, but it potentially can add a layer of protection for those who use it. (And anyone who’d submit to the religious leaders who’d abuse that power likely have bigger problems than marrying the wrong person....)
Ideally, of course, parents teach their kids what to look for in a partner and what the warning signs of trouble are, so the kids back off before marriage is even an issue. But obviously, in a lot of places, that ball’s been dropped.
Catholics go through pre-Cana before marriage. It is supposed to help hou learn what marriage means, if you and your spouse want the same things... But sometimes people don’t seriously put into it what is needed. They are blinded by love or lust and will go through it only because it is required, ignoring the warning signs of trouble ahead. People will lie to themselves and others to get what they think they want.
Ditto.
At a point in my life I got us registered on a Marriage Encounter weekend.
It was the best investment of our married life.
We had many years of marital bliss and learning to talk things out before my husband died from lung cancer.
This is why gay "marriage" has become widely accepted.
People simply don't understand the nature of marriage, which is why, paradoxically, so many annulments are justifiable today ("Oh, THOSE vows. Whatever.")
When I was in graduate school, one of the Catholic chaplains at the student parish was a former Navy chaplain during WW II. One day he mentioned that back then his bishop told him not to perform a marriage for sailors who were caught up in a quickie wartime romance. His bishop said those relationships weren't going to last, and it would be better for both parties if they didn't get married in the Church, even if it meant a JP wedding or simply living together. I guess there was some wisdom in that advice.
Both my wife and I had been widowed when we met. She was then 61 and I 69. The priest that married us had to go through the same routine as for all weddings. When he asked us if we would accept any children God sent us, we just looked at each other and laughed. We marked YES on the form.
LOL, definitely! Who wouldn’t accept a miracle like that!
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