Posted on 08/25/2014 7:02:07 PM PDT by Morgana
I am new to this journey. My daughter Faith is only 5 years old. She is mentally and physically disabled, still small enough to carry, quiet . . . mostly, and has not developed the larger, louder, and strange movements and sounds that many older people who are mentally and physically disabled seem to develop as they try to express themselves – yet.
We have taken our daughter to concerts, plays, movie theatres, political speeches, pro-life fundraisers and community events, and spend a lot of time in hallways and lobbies when she does get loud. However, we’ve found that the hardest place to take a child with special needs is to church. We have found the cardinal sin of the Sunday service is not sexual immorality, lying, theft, or heresy – no, it is having distracting movements or loud sounds during worship or the message.
jesismithHe is probably in his early 40’s and he is mentally disabled. Every week his mom brings him faithfully to church. There is a section in the back of the sanctuary where many families sit with their children of all ages with special needs. It is definitely a group that makes a joyful noise during worship and after the offering is taken, they all leave to go to a special class during the sermon. But this week was different. Her son was playing the tambourine that he brought every Sunday to worship God — one of the only ways he expresses praise to God, when a member of the church staff came up to him and asked that he not to use it in service anymore. It was disturbing to other people and it was distracting the band on stage. The mother was crushed, embarrassed, and offended. This is not supposed to be a concert, but worship from all the people, right? She had worked hard all these years to take him — a grown man, which is no small task — out of the sanctuary when loud, and for years, has taught the special needs Sunday school class. She often is unable to join in the worship or listen to the sermon herself, so that her son and others like him can be taught the word of God. Now the one place that both her and her son could join with the church in the praise and worship was not available to her either! Why work so hard to come if even during a loud praise and worship service with everyone singing , keyboards, drums, and guitars he was not able to join in? Was his worship so offending among hundreds of others who may be clapping offbeat or singing off-key that he was asked to stop? So now, put the church on the list of all the places that your special needs child cannot go and participate.
Do not get me wrong: I know children can be a distraction and need to be taken out of the service when loud, whether a crying baby, fidgeting toddler, or even my special needs daughter, but is there never to be a church that gives the mentally and physically disabled enough time or grace to stay in and adjust to a service? Is there no place for the disabled in corporate worship? Must they always be sent out to the lobby alone or to a room to sit alone? Many may not realize they and their parents have probably sacrificed more than most other church members just to show up to church. They probably have spent hours with parents or caregivers getting ready and getting in and out of their vehicle with wheelchairs, walkers, and medical equipment. They have likely spent most of their week in the hospital or battling illness at home, and this may be one of the few Sundays they could even come to church this year. However, they will not spend this Sunday with the body of Christ being ministered to, but out in the hallway in shame.
If the church truly wants to serve the “least of these” – whom Jesus urged the Church to make a priority, are they not the disabled? Now ask yourselves this: How many people with disabilities come to your church? Where are all the people with handicaps anyway? Sure, they seemingly have little to offer the church — no money, no volunteering, no inviting their friends, they may be unlovely to look upon, make weird noises, have improper behaviors, spit more than normal, throw up routinely, and do not even offer “acceptable” praise and worship. Many of them are unwanted even by their own parents. (Over 90% of babies with a disability like our daughters – Trisome 18 / Edwards Syndrome – are aborted.) They are a group who cannot speak for themselves, cannot go where they want to go, or even eat or go to the bathroom without help , and accordingly, they ought to be honored as the most patient among us! The disabled who have been brought to the church are among the blessed few. First, they are blessed to be alive, cared for, and well enough to attend; and second, they are blessed to have a parent or caregiver who love them enough to battle the process of getting them to the church. And so, I implore you — please do not send them out into the lobby or to an empty room to sit alone after all they have struggled with and endured just to make it into your doors!
My final thought for you to ponder is an unfortunate update on the mentally disabled man with the tambourine – he refuses to play it anymore.
LifeNews Note: Jesi Smith and her husband Brad are pro-life speakers with Save The 1, from Rochester Hills, Michigan. They’ve just recently received a personal 1-minute video endorsement from Rick Santorum.
may have spotted the problem:
“the band on stage”
Sounds like she was at a concert, not a worship service.
AMEN! I love me some Bible-Thumpers! Would to God my Catholic brethren knew their scripture like even evangelical KIDS.
The Democrats would never see another Catholic vote.....
Wait.
You wrote:
“At my church (Southern Baptist), we have what they call the ‘Sunshine Room”. It is for special needs kids. Volunteers staff it and make sure that it’s a safe place for them to watch Christian kids videos (cartoons, VeggieTales, etc.) and play.”
Then you wrote:
“(And for those who view these children as distractions and nuisances...I have this mental picture of you...”
So, is a child brought to the “Sunshine Room” because they are NOT viewed as a distraction or nuisance to someone? Why aren’t their parents with them in the sanctuary??? Clearly the “Sunshine Room” exists for the following purposes: 1) to give special needs kids a place to learn about the faith and to be entertained, 2) to give their parents and siblings a break so they can worship rather than focus on the special needs kids, 3) to allow everyone else in the church to focus on the service rather than be distracted by someone else’s special needs kids.
Everything I have said is indisputably true. If you don’t believe it, ask your pastor.
Come here.
We have several families with Down Syndrome children and they are warmly welcomed.
We have had many special needs children and adults come to our church, a church of Christ and I honestly have never known any one to be offended by the noise, just the opposite. One young man ,due to his disability would make a loud moaning noise all throughout service, but many times I would see members rush after services to greet him. That is what a church family is to do, encourage one another and lend support. It saddens me to see how self centered and uncivil we are becoming.
“The Democrats would never see another Catholic vote.....”
How do you explain so many Protestants voting for Democrats? 42% in 2012 voted for Obama. Explain that.
Church would be great except for all the people. ;o)
Oh, and the music.
Oh, and the parking.
Oh, and I hate it when they preach from a guilt perspective.
(Did you hear any guilt in that?)
Oh, and when the youth paster talks like a teenager.
Oh, and when the lady next to me holds up the offering to fill out her check once she is holding onto the bag.
Oh, and when someone tells me I REALLY need to go on the men’s retreat.
But somehow I go every week..... wonder why.
“Corrie Ten Boom’s short book on that very subject, Common Sense Not Needed.”
I had no idea! Thank you so much!
The 'kid' with the tambourine was 40.
Kids are encouraged to play and be expressive in synagogue until they are Bar Mitzvah-ed. I always thought it a nice tradition.
Oh, now I remember why I go to church every week.
I have to preach.
“My daughter Faith is only 5 years old.”
There are two people talked about in this story.
They are the Main Line Protestants. The other 58% are the evangelicals.
And the one with the tambourine was 40, your post referenced kidS. What about the 40 yr old?
Mainline Protestants aren't much on the Bible either, but for different reasons....
It's a topic that has fascinated me for several decades, specifically the question "how does a 'low-functioning' person receive God's forgiveness and grace, if they cannot confess with their lips?"
The came-at-it-sideways answer that I found to that question came from Matthew 5:22b:
...whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fireWhy is calling someone a "fool" worse than insulting them? Why would the name-caller be liable to Hell, for what appears to be just another insult? As I explored the verse, I found that accusing someone of being a fool was to pronounce them incapable of being regenerate and incapable of making good decisions. In other words, calling someone a "fool" was making an eternal judgment against them: declaring that there is some minimum physical/mental condition that a person must possess and exercise in order to be forgiven/saved.
Chew on that for awhile, as it speaks directly to how we "normals" should conduct ministry and evangelism (and thus Corrie ten Boom's book).
Special needs is one thing.
Undisciplined is another.
Yep. It’s certainly not fair to compare the two. My only point was distraction is distraction.
Hopefully, families with special needs children can find a good solution.
Worship is not primarily for our enjoyment. It’s not what we “get out of the service,” but what we put into it. I believe God was especially pleased with this man’s joyful tambourine playing. Could the praise band match his sincerity?
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