Posted on 10/13/2015 3:17:15 PM PDT by TheRobb7
I have been Youth Leader at my church (Baptist) for the last 16 years. In that time we have had our ups and downs ministering to teens; the good times and the bad.
But never this bad.
About 4 years ago, we were averaging 10-15 teens in our group (we're a small church, with attendance in the 80s and 90s.). Then an incident happened which began an unfortunate pattern.
"The Incident" (as I call it) involved a Sunday night youth meeting in which I mentioned, in passing, that the Bible condemns homosexuality (the topic was in the news). After everyone had been dismissed, one of the young girl's mother came storming into the room and blasted me for my insensitivity.
It turns out that the mother's oldest daughter (who was not at the meeting) is a lesbian.
Earthquake.
The fallout was immediate and devastating. Sunday school and Sunday nights' attendance shriveled down to me and my 2 sons.
It stayed that way for an entire summer.
Slowly, younger kids who were coming into the 7th grade started attending and from that we started over. We eventually built it back up to previous levels.
Then gay marriage started becoming a prominent national issue, and again I was forced to make a decision: go soft on the issue or stand firm on what the Bible teaches. Ignoring it wasn't an option, it kept coming up.
90% of the teens played along with everything until we got back from the annual Youth Convention in 2014.
And then they fled.
This time it hurt my sons, since the ones who left were their contemporaries.
How did I explain all this to my sons? It was rough. This is a small neighborhood. You can't help but pass by people that you know, people that you have ministered to. People that now look away when they see you, not even acknowledging your existence...or your sons'.
What of the remaining 10% that stayed? They moved away.
Our trip to youth Convention this year was a very small group. The only ones that stuck around afterward were my sons.
You can guess what this past summer looked like.
A couple of months ago, our bus ministry found a group of black teenagers that were really talented in performing arts (dance and interpretive movement). We even let them perform on a Sunday morning. However, one of them is gay.
Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
And here's the kicker: I've never had the chance to actually TEACH on the subject. I've just mentioned it in passing...and teens have fled for the tall grass.
As you can see, we have been on the receiving end of history. Believe me, it gets old.
I am on the verge of giving up, which I didn't want to do until my sons both graduated.
I've condensed our recent history for time's sake, but suffice it to say that we are in desperate straights.
The other thing that makes this so challenging is that I have no co-workers in this ministry, I work 2 jobs and have been the only teen ministry worker for most of my 16-year term.
My pastor has been supportive, but is really unable to help beyond encouraging words and prayers.
I'd like to have a dialogue here with Freepers who may have suggestions.
Look at it this way; more logs for the fire...j/k....: )
I would stick with God’s word, there is no compromise.
That said, you could be clear that God loves us all, but sin is condemned, all sin. Homosexuality is included, murder, theft, etc.
I know it’s not the populist stance these days, but Jesus did say people would hate us because of him as well.
Blessed are you when men revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so men persecuted the prophets who were before you.
(Mt 5:11-12)
I feel for you. But have you considered the whole idea of a youth ministry anyway? Why segregate the youth out?
Thank you all for your contributions/encouragements.
Don’t give up or give in. Better to help lead a small group to Heaven than a large one to Hell.
Yes, that has crossed my mind many times.....
Thank you, Jeff. I needed that :)
Maybe the young people don’t have the theological background to understand a condemnation of homosexual *activity*? If they do not understand why sin is bad, other than “because God says so,” then they will fill in the blanks with what the world teaches them.
And I don’t mean that pragmatic thing like God told the Jews not to eat pork because pork does not last well in the desert. God also told them not to eat insects.
I mean the theology of sin: why does God say something is sinful? Is it because it might cause disease, or is it because God understands how we are made, since He designed us, and so He knows what is good for our *souls*? What are we making our souls into when we sin: beautiful objects for God to show how grateful we are for all He has given us? or ugly objects which show that we do not care about what God and His Son Christ did for us?
And what does indulging ourselves in sinful pursuits do to us? Look at the big ones: alcohol, drugs, gambling, porn. If those turn people into greedy seekers after pleasure (addicts), then surely something as powerful as sex will cause disruptions in our souls.
That may not be your theology, but I just wanted to give an example of what I was talking about.
Powerful. That’s a wonderful way of looking at it.
I stand the same ground, but with a bit more nuance. I ask what the Bible says, talk about statistics (no one is surprised when I do a search at the CDC web site and read the results with sources), and then ask questions about what they think is the most loving and most Christian response to the gay debate. I include the liberal readings of Scripture, along with the best available original text, so they can see if the liberal interpretation is consistent with the actual words. I will often ask whether a response is both loving and Christian and then ask the group for other options that are also both loving and Christian.
It's hard to argue for pretending that gay "marriage" is something that a loving Christian celebrates after (1) reading the actual words of the Bible (including showing them the Aramaic/Greek text with a word-by-word translation), and (2) reading CDC reports on issues among gay men. They tend to conclude that the loving response is the traditional Christian response - love the sinner, but encourage them to avoid behaviors paired with both a huge disease risk and a clear violation of scripture.
This is as close as I can get to teaching as Jesus did, by parables. I cannot get away with a parable, nor would I be convincing if I tried, but I can give them enough of the story that they can figure out for themselves what it means, and that is my goal.
What do the youth and parents want? Pizza and fun? That isn’t equipping them for defending their faith. You have to be faithful and let God sort it all out. Your sons are watching how you handle this and they will learn more than all the ones who left.
“By no means! Let God be true though every one were a liar, as it is written,’That you may be justified in your words,
and prevail when you are judged.’ “ Romans 3:4
You're welcome. It saddens me when good men are battered by our decadent culture. You deserve our support and those young people deserve to hear the Truth.
I, for one, appreciate your faithfulness to the truth and your willingness to face the consequences. Tragically, this is the direction of the country. Most believers are leaving the Scriptures for the “Seeker Friendly” groups that are “nicer” than you (and me). If you can bear up and keep teaching the Gospel of Jesus Christ, I suspect one day we will find out that this era was the “deluding influence” God sent over the world to make them believe the lie (II Thess 2:11 ff). Hold onto to the Unlimited Sovereignty of God; the relief will come when the curtain falls.
Happy to help :)
One of the things I left out from my original post is that during my tenure as youth leader, i have had VERY LITTLE input or help from the parents.
They have basically treated us as a Baptist Babysitting Service.
Getting THEM to help out is like getting Obama to accept conservatism....
I am a member of the Evangelical Presbyterian Church. The EPC is growing rapidly because of the number of congregations that are parting ways with the mainline Presbyterian church over two main issues: ordination of homosexuals and a ‘demotion’ of who Jesus is. So I’m trying to encourage you by saying the stance being taken regarding sexual immorality is causing clear lines to be drawn and growth in a church/denomination because of solid theology.
Prayerfully consider ‘taking a break’ and attending a church where you are ministered to instead of being the one who is ministering. I spent years being involved with the church’s music program, and got too involved with performance and not enough with worship. For the sake of my soul, I needed a break.
Matthew 10:34-36. If you stand with Jesus, you’re not going to be popular with the world. I know you know that.
I’m praying for you, brother.
What does your pastor preach regarding homosexuality?
on the subject of gayness, we need to point out that gay behavior is immoral along with adultery and premarital sex. god calls all of us to purity.
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