LOSER seeks 15minutes of fame
Posted on 05/06/2016 12:36:06 PM PDT by LearnsFromMistakes
Haifa resident asks court to keep the Almighty away, claiming He is being mean to him
An Israeli man has petitioned the Haifa Magistrate’s Court for a restraining order against God, claiming the Almighty has been particularly unkind to him.
The initiator of the request, a resident of the northern port city, represented himself in court, the Walla news site reported on Wednesday.
A protocol of the hearing noted that God did not turn up for the session, although it did not specify how the court determined the Omnipresent was not in fact there, as opposed to merely exercising the right to remain silent.
The petitioner, who was not named in the report, noted that he had tried to obtain the restraining order from police for the past three years but that police had merely sent a patrol car to his home on 10 occasions.
He argued that over a three-year period God, had exhibited a seriously negative attitude toward him, although details of just what divine mischief he had borne the brunt of were not mentioned in the report.
Presiding Judge Ahsan Canaan denied the request, which he said was ludicrous, asserting the applicant needed help not from the court but rather from other sources.
The report did not include a response on the outcome from any of the multitude of available spokespeople on behalf of the Lord.
He might be able to get a hearing, but the only one that can grant his request is Satan.
They make places for guys like this.
They’re called Looney Bins.
Or Democrats.
‘Can you provide proof of service? No proof of service and notification, no case, case dismissed.’
Saves everyone trouble here. :)
Hell, I’ve got this guy beat.
hmmm- a restraining order against an omnipresent God? Where is there anyplace on earth that doesn’t have God present? Shall God become ‘partiallypresent God?
Send the summons certified mail so He has to sign for it.
Deed the land over to a church. Churches don’t have to pay property tax. Several Katrina trash were given a church near me. They have built I don’t know how many houses for the many, many elders so their members, uh, “elders” can live in free church houses and not be taxed.
yes, great idea!
He lives in a free and prosperous country that allows him the freedom to engage in such foolishness and he’s complaining that God is being nasty to him?
Just like all the rest of pampered, entitlement mentality idiots running around, he’s got way too much free time on his hands.
LOSER seeks 15minutes of fame
In the wise words of my first pastor, "When you feel the mighty hand of God pressing down on the top of your head, you must not stiffen your neck, because it will simply snap. Instead, you must bend, at the knees."
This could mean trouble, since Satan has all the attorneys.
It is posts like yours that make me pay money to Jim Robinson and his Free Republic.
Seriously...your post really put a smile on my face.
There are a lot of things in this world that try their hardest to remove the inclination to laugh, and your post just blew them away and gave me a good laugh!
Thank you!
Glad I could do it.
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