I would love to hear Bud's side.
I seems that you know some of these individuals.
Can you share with us some documented indicators that Bud has not become satan's tool?
Dear George,
There are always two sides to a story. Here you are, a guy, feeling that This Guy is All Wrong. Here am I, a woman, a mother, a wife, and also dedicated to Mary in the True Devotion, resonating with Bud in his own Devotion, discussing things with him by e-mail, long years ago when all this was in the process of falling apart. He writes:
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and
your wonderful advice. Of course my
marriage has been attacked--it's been
under attack since we started the Mary
Foundation. We're used to it. I'm actually
fasting every Wednesday now as part
of E5, and will continue to do so until
the day I die. I'm confident in God's
power and that everything will turn out
fine and I've actually been in a very
optimistic mood.
Please, pray for us.
With Mary,
Bud Macfarlane Jr., MI
George, there are enough frightful women in the world who are wilful, opinionated, strong in personality, who are quite resistant to co-operating with their men. Maybe they are right, maybe they are wrong, maybe they need to react in a gentler way. You can see Bai is very vocal, and in her website, she claims not to be a saint and has her weak points. She said she was not perfect. I admire her for saying that, because it is true for every woman even when she won't admit to it. Every human being has weak points.
Every male-female pair has a relationship never quite the same as any other pair. There are shades of differences in all. There are many different kinds of friendships too among friends. None of your friendships are exactly alike, even with those of the same sex. Every male-female bond has its variations. So to look at Bud and Bai, telling them you should do this and that, is to look at your own male-fenale bonding relationships and other peoples, other couples, and then try to make rules and then apply these universally, and then apply to Bud and Bai - this is wrong. Wrong as in erroneous and incorrect. One shoe does not fit all feet.
I feel only they can sort it out. I feel that Bud felt very threatened by Bai, and lived in a relationship where they is no equal give and take. Not to his liking. He might be right, he might be wrong. He might have been too strong a personality without knowing it and Bai crumbled then resisted. He wants her to work, and she wants to homeschool the kids so refused to go work. Whose attitude is right? We cannot judge, and even they would find it hard to judge regarding who is responsible for the breakup. One's too sensitive, one's too unfeeling, we can speculate on and on. Only they and God knows.
It just looked awful in public to have the police descend on Bai and dragging the kids away. Sure makes Bud the villain doesn't it? But who can judge? Was his way the best for the kids? Remember this: a guy usually cannot control his feelings too well, and then cannot analyse them, and then cannot defend himself. He can't see the big picture and reason when the whole episode is an affair of the heart. He also might be doing the stupidest things and think he is right.
The woman can think on her feet and argue well and usually has the upper hand for her ability to vocalise how she feels and to pour out reasonable excuses for her plight and explain her stand. How do I know? I am a woman. I sometimes feel sorry for my husband who looks at life simply and takes things simply, but boy! Am I complex!
See, George? As a man, you find the issue is simple. Bud is wrong. Any guy who walks out on his wife is all screwed up. You would never do this to anyone you love. Disgusting. I as a woman am suspicious of Bai. Is she making a lot of mileage out of this the way I am quite capable of doing? I am complex, and I think quick and I analyse. I normally run rings round my husband when we argue. He has to walk out to get away because he is overwhelmed. Frightening creature a woman is, eh? Not all women are like that. I am a graduate and so is Bai. Maybe we are more prone to this thing.
Maybe God is using them and Bai to highlight this awful no-fault divorce law. I long for the day they will both get rid of their lawyers and contact each other and try to get together again. If they do, they can improve, but basically not change. And hopefully, with this awareness of how they are affecting the other person, they will compromise, like all married couples and live in love and peace again.
And they will become an example to the rest of the world as to how to fight and get together again. This is more real and useful to society that to have two lovebirds living happily ever after, like in a fairy story, driving off in their horse-drawn carriage into a fading sunset. So unreal.
I hope this will answer your question, George! Let's all go pray some more!
Yva